Emotions

Remember that because Panic Disorder / Agoraphobia is an ' Emotional and Physical Condition, it's very natural for us to experience a full range of emotions and physical symptoms when we try to work ' with ' this disorder in order to try to recover.
I've had times when I was in the car, as a passenger even, and had a panic attack - I was still learning what to do, you know........remembering to breath calmly with my stomach, letting myself relax my muscles down, letting the attack go right though me, etc..) and next thing, I'd burst into tears.
Hey, it's TOTALLY normal.
Our emotions are overworked. They're overtired. They're over - everything.
And, they want to come out and be expressed. Let them!
They will come out in the form of frustration, fierce anger, swearing, tears, pure excitement, laughing or giggling, etc., etc........Watch any little child / toddler that's learning to get a grip on their emotions - how do they react? Usually with temper tantrums, giggles, screams, tears, etc...... no, it's not over-acting - it's strong emotion. We're no different.
Don't try to suppress these emotions when you work at your recovery - they need to come out - they've been pushed ' way down ' for so many years in various ways. They're a part of YOU! And it's YOU who's starting to recover - it's YOU who's like a tightly closed rose-bud just starting to tentatively open up to the sun again after many years of being shut so tight - that cocoon image.
Whether it's getting back to driving again, walking away from home and going into the shopping mall, etc...... the emotions will come out.

Remember that you're taking on ' raw fear ' at it's ' absolute highest level ' and it's perfectly understandable that whether you do or don't achieve your goal, your emotions are going to react. Let them happen - don't be ashamed of them. This will balance itself out later on, but for now, these emotional times are necessary - expect them to happen and don't be embarrassed by them - let everyone worry about their own reactions to how you act. You're the one who's trying to get better - not them.

Verity Pollard