Recovery

Regarding the question : Does anyone ever recover from Agoraphobia?

I consider myself to hover between 80-95% recovery at the moment. There are still things I am tackling at times, such as lifts - but then I've always had a problem with lifts - it just exaggerated the fear during my years of panic/ag.
Something I do know for sure, is that we never get anywhere in life, simply by sitting back and thinking about it. We have to get out and do it. Some things we can do in a day or two.......some can be done in a week or so........some take years to achieve.........and others may take a decade. Every single thing we do with our lives, takes time.
It depends on what we're trying to achieve.
It depends on how much time and effort we put into our goal.

But.......the first step no matter how small is a step in the right direction.

With panic/ag, people struggle, people backslide (have set-backs), and.......people do recover.
I can now drive anywhere I want to.
I can now walk as far as my fitness levels will allow me to.

I wasn't always this way.

I was classed as ' Severely Agoraphobic '.
I experienced a constant state of severe anxiety, which I couldn't stop.
I would have 'full-blown' panic attacks at home, around 4-5 each day without any provocation.
I would sit on the floor in my dining room, holding my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth from anxiety and tension.
I would sit at home as quiet as a mouse if anyone came to my door or if the phone rang - I was too anxious to take the call, or to have someone in my house ( even though I desperately wanted to see my family and friends.)
I was too frightened to stand in the shower, because of the sensation of the floor constantly 'rolling / waving '.
I was house-bound, and becoming room-bound. I could no longer walk from my kitchen....through the dining room....to my lounge room without having panic attacks.
I could not stand at my front door talking to anyone.
I was wrongly diagnosed with 'Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' for 3-1/2 years due to the incredible physical weakness and fatigue I was experiencing. I was constantly feeling so tired and always exhausted, as though I were about to collapse all the time. It was anxiety and tension.
I was in a state of ' off-balance ' for over 13 years - like a mild vertigo.
I ended up suffering major depression just as I was starting to begin my recovery program, and was constantly suicidal for 3 weeks, crying and screaming on the phone to a mental health emergency team to please help me.


Today, I am able to go and do what I like - where I like - when I like.
I have found my own freedom again, and I don't ever take it for granted.
I have also found my self during the recovery process.
It has resulted in me walking out of a marriage that wasn't working.
It has resulted me in becoming a very confident, wacky, outgoing person - not the quiet, shy, 'yes sir......no sir' person that other people saw.
I'm no longer the person who does things to 'keep others happy.'
I'm the same person I always was............but the 'inner' me now shines out boldly - and I have a ' to hell with what anyone thinks ' attitude with many things.
My recovery is ongoing.
It started in November, 1994 when I had finally been diagnosed with Panic Disorder / Agoraphobia (after confronting my doctor with " I am not scared of open spaces.......I know I don't have chronic fatigue syndrome......I get scared all the time - am I agoraphobic ??? ).
I rang my local community health centre, and asked them for any information they had on ' Panic Attacks / Agoraphobia.' They had a psychologist there at that moment who spoke to me on the phone, and arranged to come out and see me a.s.a.p. and start me on the road to education, graded exposure, and recovery.
And that's exactly what happened.
Recovery happens.
It is hard work.
It takes time.
It is all worthwhile.
And you know what ??? One of my greatest rewards now to read the messages up here on the Agoraphobia Australia site about people getting one, two.......houses away from home, or going out their front door.
It is not pathetic.
IT IS A HUGE STEP.
IT IS A HUGE EFFORT.
So......to anyone who ever wonders if recovery happens? Yes it does.
And so much more happens along the way with it.

Verity