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Imponderables

After you read these imponderables to ponder, go down to enjoy a fun game!

---Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
---Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? ---Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? ---How do I set my laser printer on stun? ---How is it possible to have a civil war? ---If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? ---If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ---If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? ---If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? ---If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? ---If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? ---If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? ---If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ---Is a castrated pig disgruntled? ---Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? ---What happens when none of your bees wax? ---Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket? ---If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff? ---If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away? ---Are skunks repulsed by the smell of their spray? ---Does the Little Mermaid wear an algae bra (algebra)? ---Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? ---Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? ---Why do they report power outages on TV? ---What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? ---Is it possible to be totally partial? ---What's another word for thesaurus? ---If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? ---Would a fly without wings be called a walk? ---Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? ---Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? ---If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off? ---If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? ---If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? ---Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ---If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? ---Why is the word abbreviation so long? ---When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? ---If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? ---Can you be a closet claustrophobic? ---If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? ---When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? ---If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? ---Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? ---Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? ---If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? ---Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? ---Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? ---How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? ---Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? ---When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? ---Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? ---If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer? ---What was the best thing before sliced bread? ---How can they tell that twin lobsters are really twins? ---How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot...and something cold,cold? ---What is the speed of dark? ---Why are there braille signs on drive-up ATM's? ---If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings why don't they wear a pair of bras? ---How come you never hear about gruntled employees? ---Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? ---Why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds? ---If you tied a piece of buttered toast to a cats back buttered side up, and then dropped the cat from a height, would it land on its feet? ---Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? ---Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? ---Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? ---Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? ---How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? ---If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? ---If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? ---If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? ---You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? ---Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? ---Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? ---Why do ceiling fan blades get dusty, despite constantly spinning? ---Why did Pirates wear earrings? ---If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? ---If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostile situation? ---Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to become troubled and insecure? ---Is there another word for synonym? ---Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? ---When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs? ---When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away? ---What do sperm whales think about? ---If we encountered an alien species as intelligent as we are, how would we recognize it? ---How might a nonhuman language differ from a human one? ---How does matter become conscious? ---Can elephants learn arithmetic? ---What is the optimum size for a community? ---Are virtual communities really virtual? ---How do they make Koosh balls? ---What comes next? ---What have we lost? ---What are we about to lose? ---What have we got that's worth keeping? ---How much is enough? ---What assumptions are implicit in these questions? ---Are we really sure that up isn't down and down isn't up? ---With the number of birds there are, why is it we don't often see when they die? ---If you think Jesus Christ is a joke, then hopefully, you will find hell equally as funny. ---Why do we always hurt the ones we love? ---Why does the bus always come when you light a cigarette? ---We all say "life is so short" .... and we all know that eternity is hard to comprehend. So, why do we live like we have 'eternity' here, and view eternity as something that will never happen? ---Is there really someone for everyone; or are some folks just meant to be alone? ---Why does Sheetz have locks on the doors?? it is open 365/24/7 ---Why does the word "sanction" mean both to permit and to prohibit? ---Why does the word cataract mean both a waterfall and an eye defect (what do they have in common?) ---If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? ---If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? ---How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? ---Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? ---Does fuzzy logic tickle? ---Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? ---Why does your nose run and your feet smell? ---Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing? ---If the opposite of pro is con, is the opposite of progress congress? ---Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together? ---Why is it, whether you sit down or sit up, the results are the same? ---Why is it called a "building" when it's already built? ---Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together? ---If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong? ---How can you "draw a blank"? ---Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllable"? ---Why did the kamikaze pilots wear helmets? ---Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when we're already there? ---Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting? ---Why is there only one Monopolies Commission? ---Does a fish get cramps after eating? ---Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? ---Why is it when two planes almost collide it's called a 'near miss'. Shouldn't it be called a 'near hit'? ---Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it off you can't see to read. ---How do you know when it's an ENDLESS LOOP? ---Why is FOOTball played by hand? ---Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? ---Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations where smoking is not permitted? ---Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing? ---If you can't drink and drive then why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? ---How does the guy who drives the snow plow get to work on snowy mornings? ---If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year then why are there locks on the doors? ---If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make it stick to pans? ---Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? ---Why is it they can't make an airplane out of the same material as that little black box data recorder? ---You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? ---Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turndown the volume on the radio? ---JUST ASKING!?! 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