I had taken my two youngest (Casey and Beth) that weekend to stay with their oldest sister Christy for two weeks. On the 4th Beth decided to join Christy, Christy’s boyfriend, his sister and two other friends on an all day rafting trip down the gorge. Casey and I dropped all of them off at the outfitter and spent the day sightseeing. You can imagine our shock when later that day, Christy and Andy came running up to me screaming that Beth was missing. I remember my mind just could not accept the fact. I kept looking at them and looking at the river which isn't very wide saying "What do you mean you lost Beth?"
What I later learned had happened was that during the ride the raft hit a rock and everyone but Christy was thrown from the raft. Beth disappeared under the water. After a four - hour search Beth's body was found under 12 feet of water, trapped by a rock. It took another 2 hours for the rescuers to get her out of the water. She had hit her head on the rocks so we know that she was unconscious before her foot got trapped. It's amazing to me the things we hold onto for comfort in the midst of our nightmares, but yet I do find comfort in that she did not feel anything after the first few seconds.
It has been almost nine months for me now. The days are better even though I still I miss her so very much. I can now find comfort visiting her gravesite. I swear I feel her arms around me when I am having a really bad day.
Because of the loss of my precious daughter, my life will never be the same. Everything is a little dulled but I wouldn't trade one second of this grief if it meant I never had her at all.
I wish you peace and a time when you can again smile even if it is through the tears.
Love,
Sam
Beth's Mom
