Willow finds a way to cope with Oz's departure.
Spoilers: WAH
Disclaimer: Not mine..blah blah...Don't sue...blah blah blah.
Feedback: VampWill13@aol.com ....Flames are an evil that is of the bad kind.
Dedication: This one's for my wonderful Twink, Muffin, and Croissant.I love you guys!

Have you ever done something absolutely ridiculous to feel close to someone? I did...today I bought a guitar.

When I was six years old I met at girl at school named Lynn. Her grandma had just died. So she started eating bananas. Because her grandma had liked them. And it made her feel close to her . I thought I understood well enough. Lynn was weird anyway.

But now I sit on the foot of my bed back home. With a guitar in my hands. Now I fully understand. No nagging questions from the parental units, who were never home anyway. Buffy was with Riley and wouldn't question the short note I left her. "Decided to stay at the house tonight. Have fun! Love, Will"

It's not as if I planned this. On the way to my house I passed the shop were the Dingoes got most of their equipment. The door swung open and the bell jingled. The guy exiting the store held the door open for me, obviously trying to be a gentleman. I wasn't planning on going inside. But my arm flew forward and caught the door. Quietly thanking the young man, I crept inside. The smell of musky incense filled my senses and the guys at the counter nodded. They must recognize me. Lovely.

Without Oz on my arm I felt out of place. After glancing around the store, I was ready to turn and leave. That's when it caught my eye. It was so perfect..perfectly out of place compared to the ones around it. It was beautiful and unique. Reminded me of my Oz. The guys behind the counter noticed my interest in the instrument and went into the back. Maybe they wanted to give me some time alone with it. Maybe they felt sorry for me.

I stepped toward it and ran my fingertips over it's smooth veneer. It was black with swirls of the prettiest blue. It was one of those blues that doesn't have a name...not dark enough to be navy. Not bright enough to be electric. I wanted to hug something. I wanted to hug the guitar. For making me feel close to the man I loved. The whole store was filled with his essence. And since I couldn't take the store home.. I'd settle for the guitar.

Two hours later here I am. With a guitar in my lap. A kick ass guitar. No amp. No music. No money in my savings account. No Oz. Just a beautiful gift to myself that reminded me of him. Something that I can hold on to. Something solid. It smelled of him, even though he's never touched it. Or maybe that's my room. Or my sheets. I bite my lip to keep from crying. Leaning back on my bed, I close my eyes and hold the guitar close. Humming the tune to "She Knows" ..I strum my fingers slowly across the strings till they hurt.

This is nice. He'll like it. The guitar. He'll smile and tell me how I know him better than he knows himself. He'll hold it, like I am. Then he'll hold me. And I can play him like a beautiful instrument. Making incredible music. Because he will come back. He has to now. I have this gift for him, and he'll love it. And he'll love me. No more insane guessing. This is real...it's solid. He's coming back and it's not me just thinking it. It's a voice in my head that's telling me. A real, solid voice.

-The End-