12/20/00
I took a field trip to the jail and I saw ODB getting charged for another misdemeanor. He's always in prison. I also saw a cell that they were saving for OJ, but he was never sent there. So I kept walking through the jail with the rest of the group and it got really beat really quick so when no one was looking I turned down a dark halway. It was kinda lonely so I put my headphones on and popped Dr. DRE into me CD player. As I was walkin and listening I noticed that the cells got really luxorious and when I looked in one guess who I seen... It was Richard Simmons He was there for jaywalking or something. He is so sexy. I met him once. I got a picture to prove it. I even have his sweat towel and a kiss. No one believes me though there just jealous. I'm really lucky. I used to weigh 407 lbs. but he made me look good. Im only 125 now. All it took was some exercise. Who would've thought? As soon as I seen him I started banging on the cell, and blowing him kisses ......I was creating a big scene the only thing I was disappointed about was he wasn't wearing his sexy red workout outfit that shows off his masculine chest hairs. That really was a disappointment but I got over it because he realized who I was and stripped down out of his regular clothes and underneath was his sexy red outfit. I just about fainted at the site of it. I was able to keep composed though. Ya right I squeezed myself between them bars so fast. I pinned him on the bed and kissed him and kissed him and kissed him. But the second I stopped kissing him he called for the guards...He mumbled something about me being insane...Then the guards put me in handcuffs and dragged me off. That didn't bother me either though. They took me to a place that was really close to another sexy biatch... Reggie Miller. I love the way he looks like a skeleton with skin and his eyes are all bugged. That really turns me on. I got away from the guards and jumped on him. That wasn't a smart idea because I fell right off of him.....handcuffs really suck. They had a court hearing for me they said something about sexual harassment and assualt but im not sure..its hard to pay attention to other people when all you can think about is Richard Simmons. Oh Well just think all of this happens and now I get to live in a really kool room for a little while it's all white with padded walls isn't that so kool....I am the luckiest person in the world.
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