{26082001}

I look pale. How much self-tanner can one girl need? It can't even be justified with 'looking gothic'. It's just sodding pale.

::Stop whining Jen!::

Oh. Ok.
Sorry.

This weekend has left me exhausted, but it was totally worth it. On Friday, after a useless day at the office, not having worked for one second, -although I really would've liked to- I went to the pub. (btw, I will just call any pub or bar or cafe "the pub" here, unless my mood decides otherwise, for reasons you can read in my last entry.) I talked to some new people there, which was nice. Just nice. They made me laugh. One of them had perfect imitations of every possible dutch dialect. I loved his limburg version. What can I say... I adore those people. For the non dutch speaking, this dialect can be described best as singing.
I also had a little chat about literature, a fact that deserves mentioning because any exchanges on that topic always make me unreasonably happy. I freely admit I sometimes crave people with whom I am able to discuss books, poetry and all the kind. Until so far I haven't met many of them. I trust this will change when the courses start...

I came home somewhere between 12 and 1 am, had a few more drinks and came online for a little. I talked to Von. That was good, we discussed some things that had been bugging me for a long time. We actually get along quite well, which could be seen as a remarkable fact if you take the circumstances and our history in consideration. A psychotic history I won't talk about on here. Anyways, it is my duty to mankind to link her diary from here. This girl keeps you reading. You'll like it.
At least if you're into vondage.

On Saturday I originally had intended to rest through the whole day then got a call from Sam and eagerly agreed to join him and a few others to the lake. This was the second time in about two, three years I went swimming. I loved it, stayed longer in the water than anyone. It was odd... I never felt the weakness while I was in the water. I felt free, unworried, just like everyone else around me.

Every day I discover new things which make me realize I have missed them. I feel I have missed out a lot. Rediscovering all this sometimes feels like living in a constant rush. Little things, like, for instance, sitting round a table with lots of people, just drinking and chatting along, make me so darn happy. I have always been easy to please.

Later I paid a brief visit to a big garden party at Tim's house. Poor Christophe was there. He is being initiated. In Holland. He told me stories that made me shudder all over. I would have run away in tears the very first day. I have never intended to do so, but in order to have it written down: I swear, here and now, that I will never join a students society. These people are fucking mad.

*

~Quote of the day:~
'She laughed, she reached her hand out to the flower,
Closing its crimson throat. My own throat in her power
Strangled, my heart swell up so full
As if it would burst its wine-skin in my throat,
Choke me in my own crimson. I watched her pull
The gorge of the gaping flower, till the blood did float

Over my eyes, and I was blind'.

D.H.Lawrence, 'Snap-dragon'

*

~Music~
Nightwish, Mortifer.
I am writing this to the explosive melodies of a Grieg pianoconcerto.

*

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