Here, you will find profiles of other big names in the bad guy business. None of them are of my calibre, of course, but I'm afraid that that goal is far beyond anyone's feeble reach. YOU WILL PROCEED NOW!!!
Name: Wart
Title: Master of Nightmares
Games: SMB2, Super Mario All-Stars
Powers: Spitting bubbles. That's about it.
Profile: Wart is my brother, though through some circumstance that he refuses to talk about, he was turned into a frog. He has only made one appearance in a video game, in which he thought he could do better than me against Mario. Needless to say, he failed miserably, and hasn't tried to give it another shot since. He currently resides in Subcon (the land of dreams) with his wife, Pimple.
Name: Ganon
Title: King of Evil, Prince of Darkness, Mandrag of the Gerudos, etc.
Games: The Legend of Zelda, Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening (brief cameo boss), The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time
Powers: Too numerous to mention.
Profile: Now HERE'S a guy who knows what he's doing! Ganondorf Dragmire began life as the king (Mandrag) of the enchanted race of the Gerudo thieves, but through obtaining the supremely potent Triforce of Power, ascended to become the King of Darkness and ruler of the Golden Land (now known as "the Dark World"). His name, which means "Fallen Star" was later shortened from "Ganondorf" to "Ganon," which means "the Fallen One." Unfortunately, he has as yet been unsuccesful at extending his reign into the Light World of Hyrule, due to the fact that a Hero by the name of Link always appears whenever he does, regardless of the century, to smite him. Ganon's current whereabouts are unknown.
Name: Smithy
Title: Royal Pain in the Pitoot
Games: Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Powers: Making extremely dumb weapon minions to do all his work for him.
Profile: Little is known about Smithy, and with luck it will stay that way! This guy REALLY bugged me... First he had the nerve to try to take over MY world in the first place, and then he used my own castle as his base of operations! (Caught me off guard, that's all). Smithy is currently taking up space in a junkyard, where he and his idiotic weapon-weirdos belong!
Name: K. Rool
Title: Depends on which pair of socks he's wearing
Games: Donkey Kong Country, DKC 2: Diddy's Kong Quest, DKC 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble, Donkey Kong 64, Donkey Kong Land, DKL 2, DKL 3
Powers: Strength, speed, surprising agility, power to have an unnatural number of shipwrecks, able to change identities in a single bound.
Profile: K. Rool is the King of the Kremlings, a race of crocodilian creatures that are bent on making the lives of all apes and simians miserable. They hail from Crocodile Isle, are good with industry, and seem to like bananas as much as any gorilla. K. Rool is, naturally, the biggest and strongest of the lot, and throws his considerable weight around like there's no tomorrow. K. Rool's a great villain and all, but this guy's got some issues. I mean come on, he can't even decide on what people are supposed to call him! "King K. Rool," "Kaptain K. Rool," "Baron K. Roolenstein"...where will it stop?! And let's not forget that eye...now how'd that happen? Oh well... K. Rool is currently waiting for Rare to give him an excuse to cause the Kongs misery again.
Name: Gruntilda
Title: Disgusting comes to mind...
Games: Banjo-Kazooie, Banjo-Tooie (and I feel really stupid just typing that!)
Powers: Magic witch-type stuff. Able to gross people out with her party tricks.
Profile: Gruntilda is a hideously disgusting witch, who wants to be beautiful. In the original Banjo-Kazooie, she kidnapped Banjo's little sister (Tootie) in a hare-brained scheme to drain out her beauty and put it in herself. It didn't work, and Gruntilda found herself cooling her heels under a boulder for a while. Her goody-two shoes sister Brentilda didn't make a move to rescue her, so Grunty had to rely on her two other sisters to help her. When she emerged, she was even more rotten than before (literally), having decayed quite a bit beneath that rock. Suddenly she went from wanting to be a supermodel to being willing to settle for her old face (or at least some skin). A plot to restore her ensued, which was about as successful as the previous one. Gruntilda is currently...ah, how the heck should I know?! I haven't even played through Banjo-Tooie yet!
Name: Ivo Robotnik (yeah he's Sega. Go away.)
Title: Doctor
Games: Sonic the Hedgehog anything. Literally. There has not been a single game with Sonic's name in it that he hasn't been in. Oh, and Knuckles' Chaotix, but that's on a system that no one in the entire universe owns.
Powers: Genius IQ, able to make worthless animals useful, knows an infinite number of names with the word "egg" in them.
Profile: Dr. Robotnik has an exceptional past record, though a little patterned (I can't stand people who just do the same thing in every game! Can't anyone be original, like me?) His ultimate goal is to conquer the planet Mobius, and the way he intends to reach this goal always goes something like this: capture sickeningly cute woodland critters, plop 'em in sickeningly cute but deadly robots, send 'em out to find the infinitely powerful Chaos Emeralds and blow stuff up, and have a plethora of attachments ready for his Egg-a-whatever for when the Hedgehog inevitably gets to him. Robotnik is a great villain (albeit a little immature) and a brilliant scientist, but come on! How do you expect people to take you seriously when you put "egg" in the name of everything you make? "To the Eggmobile, Robin!" And he also might want to think twice about the next time he enlists the aide of a water/dragon/demon/thing too. Dr. Robotnik is currently in Robotropolis, his capital city, plotting his next world domination scheme.
Enough of these losers! BACK TO MY REALM!
Tired of the Amateurs? Read About the Master!
