Stirring himself in the morning light, Alonzo yawned lazily, his teeth glinting in the sun. Stretching his sleek, black- and white-patterned body out, he sank his fore-claws into the loamy earth beneath his paws, working his muscles awake.

"Mornin' sleepyhead." Opening one eye reluctantly, the black and white tom found Electra, Etcetera and Jemima leaning over him, grinning widely.

"What do you lovely ladies want?" He mumbled grumpily, pulling his hind-quarters out from beneath the car, raising his hind leg to wash his dust-coated thigh.

"Nothing, Alonzo." They chorussed mischievously. "We're going to play a trick on Tugger. Wanna help?"

Not looking up, the tom's ears twitched. Swivelling his eyes to regard the trio, he paused mid-lick and softly enquired, "Trick? On the great and wonderful Tugger?"

"You interested?" Jemima squatted down, a naughty gleam in her eyes that he had never noticed before.

Alonzo thought abou it. A chance to get back at Tugger for being cocky and always stealing the queens that Alonzo was interested in - especially that Bombalurina, who had just arrived a few short months earlier.

"What would I have to do?" The trio grinned at each other.

"Well," Electra started. "Here's the plan."

*

Strutting into the yard, Alonzo glanced over at Tugger, where his three little sidekicks along with Victoria sat, curled around the tom, eyes aglow with adoration, as usual.

"Hey girls." Snapping his claws, he winked at the three kittens. "Care to spend some time with a real tom?"

"Trying to be a cock of the walk like me, huh, kid?" Tugger smirked, draping his arms around Etcetera and Jemima's shoulder's.

"Succeeding where you failed, Kid." Alonzo retorted with a smug grin, his dark blue eyes glinting, as the four kittens leapt to their paws and ran to his side, fawning eagerly over him.

"But...but..." Staring at the kittens, Tugger blinked in confusion. "This isn't right!" He wailed, "I should be the one getting all their attention! Not you!"

"Now you know how it feels, big fella." Alonzo strutted over towards the maned tom, a casual smirk on his face, his arms draped around the waists of the purring Electra and Victoria. "Well?"

Tugger stared up at him blankly, twisting his tail around his paws, a miserable expression on his face. "What?"

Gesturing for the tall tom to move, Alonzo sighed impatiently, rubbing his head against the little queens. "You know," He murmured boredly. "He acts almost like he doesn't know."

"Kn...know what?" Tugger felt his self-confidence start to trickle away at the older tom's suddenly-confident attitude. Normally, no one but he - the Tugger - was allowed to be so confident!

Lowering his ead to the tom's level, Alonzo whispered in his ear. "You're sitting in my spot, my friend." Nodding towards the stove, he added. "That's where you gotta go, amigo."

Masking his confusion and - although he would never admit it - hurt, Tugger picked himself up and slinked off towrds the dark stove, as Alonzo took his place on the car.

*

"This is fun!" The black and white tom laughed, as the kittens continued to fawn over him, knowing their former playmate of the day was still watching miserably from the stove. "How long do we keep it up?"

"As long as we feel like it."

Alonzo suddenly felt very nervous. These kittens were notoriously fickle creatures...hyper and depressed all in one motion.

"Er..you feel like it?"

Nodding in unison, they all burst into fits of the giggles. "Thats what we said." They chorussed loudly. "Why, Lonzo? Getting scared, are ya?"

"Er..."

Leaping into his lap, Etcetera puckered her lips. "Don't worry your cute little black and white tushie, Lonz...we won't hurt you..." She paused thoughtfully, before adding. "Much."

"Why do I suddenly want my mummy?"

The kittens exchanged glances, giggling all the while. "But we love you Alonzo!" They cooed simultaneously at the unfortunate tomcat.

"Thanks." He replied weakly, wondering for the hundredth time what would happen when they were bored with him and wondering how on earth Tugger could even bring himself to cope with them.

*

Lying on his back, Tugger grinned up at Bombalurina who stood over him, swinging her hips lazily back and forth.

"I told you I could get rid of them for a while." She murmured, sinking down beside him, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. "They think they're playing a trick on Lonz...he thinks they're playing a trick on you..."

"Do you think I should go and help that clown?" Nuzzling her chin, he grinned at her. "He really has no clue what he's let himself in for. Not at all!"

"Let him learn what it is to be true cock of the walk." She murmured sexily. "You're all mine now."

"Hey, babe." Pulling her body onto his, he smiled. "Did I say I was goin' to complain about it? I think not!"

Licking his cheek gently, she softly asked. "You don't mind losing your fanclub for a few hours?"

"Do I look like I mind?" He held her gaze, touching her cheek fondly. "Bombie, I hardly have any time alone with you as it is. I love it when we have a little peace like this...who said I even wanted a fanclub."

"You don't seem to mind it." She looked away. "You never complain."

"If I complained, those kitts would make my life hell." Turning her face back to his. "You saw what they're doin' to poor Lonzo. Can you imagine how much worse they'd be if I tried to escape?"

"I suppose so." She smiled sadly at him. "Why don't you just tell them?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Well...not really...I like playing hard to get..." She grinned sheepishly at him.

"So whats our problem?"

"We have a little bit of time." She replied saucily. "And you're wasting it talking, you clown."

Raising an eyebrow, Tugger grinned. "So its gonna be like that?" Flipping her over, he lowered his face to hers, brushing his cheek against hers with a deep purr.

Throwing her arms around his neck, she whispered into his mane. "Love me, Tugger...we have so little time..."

*

"Please...this jokes not funny anymore!" Alonzo wailed, curling up in the foetal position, whimpering painfully. "I want my mummy."

"Hmm..."

Jemima glanced at Electra. This hadn't happened before. Some of the toms had run, but they had never reduced a full grown tom to a quivering wreck on the floor.

Peering out between his half-closed lids, Alonzo feigned another seizure, jerking in the mud on the ground.

"Er...maybe we should leave him alone..." Victoria suggested nervously, backing away from him. "I mean...he don't look good..."

Nodding Electra agreed. "I prefer Tugger. He stays on his feet longer."

Alonzo fought back a cheer of triumph. He had a feeling he had been set up and now that it had dawned on him who had done the setting-up, he felt damn satisfied that he was gonna return the favour tenfold.

"TUGGER!" The four girls chorussed as chirpily as ever. "TUGGER! Come here! We need you and if you don't come out, we'll come and get you!"

"I'm coming!" Came the aggravated yell in reply.

"I bet you are." Alonzo disappeared with the efficiency of Macavity, watching from beneath the car.

The kittens swarmed the poor Maine-Coone, clinging to arms, legs and anything else they could see that was free to grab, as Alonzo rolled out from under the car and stretched lazily.

"Oh dear." He chuckled. "I'm sorry, Tuggsy, baby...they don't seem to like me much...I guess I'll leave you to it..."

"Don't you like, Lonz, girls?" Tugger whined urgently.

Shaking her head vehemently, Etcetera grinned. "He's a wuss...we like a real, big tom...he's a wimp..."

"But he saved Dem from Mac!" He argued frantically.

Shrugging, Victoria looked up from his ankle. "I don't think he's as tough as you, Tuggsy."

"I don't know how you did it, Lonz." Tugger moaned. "But I wish someone would teach me the secret."

Sauntering off, Alonzo grinned back at the numb tom.

"Now whose cock of the walk?" He called back, chuckling, clambering easily onto the trunk of the car and walking along it, as he sung his line over and over to himself.