Two Plausible Fellows
By Rina
“Are you absolutely certain about this, my dear?” Mungojerrie asked warily of Rumpleteazer, the tone he’d been using for the last few days. The quaver in Rumpleteazer’s voice was not quite as blatant as that in Mungojerrie’s, though undeniably present.
“I’m not sure about the absolutely part…” Rumpleteazer smiled weakly. “But I’m certain, yes.”
Mungojerrie sighed, accepting this conviction and all it implied. “I’m behind you all the way, Rump.” He moved to prove his statement.
^-^O~
Their entrance was like any other into the Junkyard (with the exception of the suspicious glares and grumblings that wouldn’t have been the standard greeting for that of a less notorious Jellicles.) It was soon apparent that today it would be different in yet another way.
Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie mounted the balding tire that may not have been as regal in appearance as it once was but had lost nothing in meaning. Every Jellicle knew it meant they were about to make some kind of moderately shockig announcement (especially if it was made by ^those^ two) but none were prepared for just how shocking it was.
“I thought you all should know… I’m not really a girl.” Rumpleteazer remarked casually.
A volley of gasps were emitted from the crowd of visually astonished Jellicles.
Tugger, looking decidedly more vacant than usual, asked incredulously, “But if you’re not a girl, then what are you?”
Alonzo rolled his eyes. “Process of elimination, Tugger,” he muttered.
“Why did you pretend to be a girl, Rumpleteazer?” shouted Pouncival.
Rumpleteazer, pointedly ignoring RTT’s question, moved on to Pouncival’s.
“One day, when Jerrie and I were, er, making our usual rounds, we came across a house that contained only possessions you’d normally expect to belong to a female human.” He paused to clear his throat. “When he returned it was clear that he didn’t concur with the gender he supposedly was. For a long time, I hadn’t wanted to be who I was either, and I figured if he didn’t have to, why should I?” Rumpleteazer smiled wryly. “To quote a human song I also picked up at that house… ‘I enjoy being a girl.’”
Bombalurina stirred herself from her lazy recline against her favorite hangout, Tugger, to yell, “Right on! Girl power!”
“So…” Teazer paused to look around, his stoic expression shifting to reveal the timidness beneath. “You’re all ok with that?”
Munkustrap shrugged. “Granted, we’ll have to discuss the complications presented with your participation in the Mating Dance now… But as long as Old Deuteronomy is, I don’t see why I shouldn’t be.”
Rumpleteazer surveyed the realms of Jellicles, whose expressions he was able to match more easily with the cats he knew, now that their faces had settled back into not looking like they’d each been smacked with wooden boards.
“What about the rest of you?”
Mistoffelees was the first to break the silence that followed. “You know, you could ask me to turn you into a real girl if you really want,” he offered.
“Now why didn’t I think of that?” exclaimed Rumpleteazer. “Would you really do that for me, Mistoffelees?”
“Sure, why not?”
And so the toms and queens (the population of the latter slightly increased by one) of the Junkyard lived happily ever after.
**
The End