The New Villain
By Laura
Kitty Purrs: I got this idea from Cadaminešs Crazy Fanfic plots. E-mail me with feedback, if you like!
Munkustrap lounged on an old table, wondering if anything would happen today. Nothing exciting seemed to happen. Macavity? Terrifying. New cat? Getting old. He wished something out of the ordinary would happen. (Our author is also sick of fics like that, unless they're original)
As it turned out, something did.
As he was lounging, Bombalurina ran into the Junkyard, shrieking, followed closely by one of her best friends, the Rum Tum Tugger, who was immediately swarmed by kittens. Ignoring them, he ran to Bomb's side, while trying to explain what was going on. Bombalurina was hysterical. She kept blabbering "Macavity-saw-Mac- ran-rats-coming!". Tugger was no better. He couldn't talk at all. Munkustrap walked to them with an imperious stride. He was, after all, the leader.
"Bombalurina, what is it? What about Macavity?" he asked, holding her by the shoulders, trying to get her to calm down. Tugger took a few deep breaths, and calmed down himself.
"We saw Macavity, and his rats, and they looked like they were planning on being evil again! We thought we should come warn you" he said helpfully. Munkustrap ignored him. "Bomb, what is it?" he asked.
"We saw Macavity, and his rats, and they looked like they were planning on being evil again! We thought we should come warn you" she said hurriedly, still gasping. Munkustrap nodded. "Good. we can always assume Macavity is going to be evil". He shot a dirty look at Tugger. "Not that *you* were of any help" he said. By now, a large group of cats had gathered, including Gus, Skimbleshanks, and all the kittens, who were there for the Tugger. Tugger hung his head. Munkustrap was covered by screaming kittens, appalled that he had hurt poor Rum Tum Tugger. Munkustrap sighed, and shook them off. "Come, we must put together a war party. Who knows when Macavity might strike?". Most cats agreed, and followed Munkustrap.
^..^ For several days, the cats had been lying in wait. All toms were trained as minutemen, and some queens. (Victoria had insisted that she be trained next to Mistoffelees, and Demeter, Bombalurina, and Sillabub had followed suit) All night, there was a watch for Macavity. Just waiting...watching....breath in...breath out....rest your eyes...keep watching.....and this got very boring after the first hour or so. But Munkustrap insisted, and no one ever contradicts the leader. Finally, one night, Macavity was seen walking near the Junkyard. He was looking for some cheese he had lost. Imagine his surprise when a burlap bag was flung over his head, and was repeatedly hit by a shoe, until he pretended to fall unconscious, just to get them to stop. He then was dragged to the Junkyard. None of the cats who jumped him (Demeter, Tugger, and Skimble) noticed that he seemed to be walking, but no one cared, either.
Macavity was finally freed from the bag, to be faced with bright lights, the entire tribe (save two) on bleachers with popcorn and banners, and Alonzo yelling into a microphone "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!". Munkustrap walked up to him from a corner, wearing boxing gloves. "You ready to fight, Mac?" he asked, hissing.
Macavity looked around, still dazed from the shoe beating. "Um...no?". He shook his head. "I mean...yeah! Letšs go, Munk! We got a score to settle". Demeter handed him a pair of boxing gloves, and Alonzo rang the starting bell. Munkustrap and Macavity circled each other, swinging occasionally, but missing. Munkustrap finally managed to catch Macavity in the stomach. All the Jellicles cheered. Sillabub, Jemima, and Etcetera, the cheerleading squad, grabbed their pom-poms and chanted "Munky, Munky, he's our man, if he can't do it, no one can! Gooooo Munky!", then exploded into wild jumping.
Macavity grew angry at this. "I didn't get a cheerleading squad" he thought. He came in swinging at Munkustrapšs head. Munkustrap retaliated with kicking him. It went like this through all three rounds, until Macavity looked around, tired and sick of fighting. "It wouldn't be so bad if I gave up" he thought. "I'm tired of being the bad guy. Let someone else be the villain. I'm through". He let his arms fall. Munkustrap wound up, and delivered the final blow. Raucous cheering exploded from every corner of the yard. The Jellicles ran into the arena, hugging Munkustrap, as Alonzo held his arm up. "THE VICTOR!" he shouted. Mungojerrie, Rumpleteazer, Demeter, and Bombalurina gathered around Macavity's body sorrowfully, planning the funeral. The body was taken away, and a celebration ensued. "MUNKUSTRAP! MUNKUSTRAP!" the Jellicles chanted, carrying him around on their shoulders.
"WAIT!" Pouncival yelled from the top of a junk heap. The Jellicles stopped the conga line. "Look what I found in this book!" he continued. "'Every good guy must have an equal bad guy. Heads of groups may have the head of another group as an enemy'. We need a bad guy!". Munkustrap was dropped from the shoulders of Tumblebrutus, Cassandra, and Coricopat, but no one noticed. "It goes on. If the enemy was killed by the good guy, the good guy must become the enemies' replacement!'" Pouncival continued. Everyone looked at Munkustrap in a mix of shock and disbelief.
"You-you mean we'll have to be afraid of *Munky*?" Electra asked, refusing to believe it. Munkustrap slowly rose from the ground.
"It's true. I remember something, from a while back. I-I guess I have to be a villain now". He looked at all the Jellicles. "I'll see you guys later, okay?". The crowd parted as he walked out and went on his way, trying out different evil laughs. "Mwhahaha? No, not good. Hahahahaha? No, too simple. Grwahahahaha. That's it". Munkustrap faded into the night.
The entire tribe was silent for a moment, then started singing "We don't have no lea-DER! We donšt have no lea-DER!" as they began a new conga line.
EPILOGUE
Munkustrap learned to be a villain, and found it much more fun than the straight-up good guy. Alonzo was elected new leader for the tribe. Demeter ran away to live with Munkustrap. Macavity's song is sung during Jellicle Balls in memory, but there is a new song called "Munkustrap, the Replacement Cat". Everyone else lived happily ever after.
Disclaimer: I donšt own Cats, any of the characters, or anything connected to it.