This is a story about a man named Ark -an out-of-work-all-the-time mercenary- and his
friends Flux, Jay and Phil, who weren’t as manly as Ark, but still out of work mercenary. 

Phil was out doing stuff.

“We haven’t had a job in months.” Ark said to the others “Any ideas of what to do to get
some cash? The landlord said he’s going to kick us out in a week if we don’t get the rent.”

“Damn straight I will.” Jay said.

“Come on Jay, we’re friends, why can’t you let us stay?” Flux pleaded.

“Because you are a bunch of damn moochers, damn damn damn damn moochers.”

“Jay! Please! Stop swearing in front of the Flux.”

Phil burst in with great news “I’m home!” then he sat down.

After a while Jay broke the silence.

“.....damn.”

After another while Phil broke the silence.

“I overheard a local innkeeper, who shall remain nameless, wanting to hire a couple
mercenaries to kill the other innkeeper in town.” Phil informed.

“Alright, lets go see him.” Flux said, standing up and grabing his sword, everyone stood
up and did the same.

“It’s my sword.” Flux stated. “You know, our jobs would go alot smoother if we each had
a weapon.”

***

The duo of duo’s waltzed down the main street, they took a left past the old abandoned
newly built warehouse, into Inn Row.

“Now which innkeeper wanted us to kill which innkeeper? There’s like, three of them.”
Ark asked Phil.

“I don’t know, shall we kill them all?” Phil suggested.

“Yes, we shall.” the others agreed.

“WAIT! Three damn shopkeepers, and there are four of us!” Jay yelled in dismay.

“Jay, you sit this one out, keep the cops out by pressing X repeatedly.” Ark said.

***

Ark stepped into inn number one, innkeeper number one was standing forty-feet away in
the middle of an open room with a sword drawn swinging repeatedly at Ark. Ark glared at
the innkeeper, flared his nostrils and charged towards the innkeeper, and was killed.

“I made short work of him.” Ark grunted.

***

The door swung open dramatically and Phil lept into inn number two.

“Are you that mercenary who is going to kill my rival innkeeper for me?” The innkeeper
asked, but was soon silenced by Phil’s flying fists of fatal fury.

MORTALLY SILENCED!

***

Two cops turned the corner into Inn Row.

“I heard two people got killed here about four minutes ago.” Cop One said to Cop Two.

“Should we check it out?” Cop Two asked. “We ARE police officers after all.”

“We’ll check it out when we pass by.”

Jay, being the scout, heard all of this and started pressing X repeatedly. Explosions ripped
through nearby buildings and under the road every time he pressed the button, eventually
killing one cop.

“COP TWO!” Cop One screamed and pulled out his gun and started firing at Jay.

Jay lept into a back alley, flipped a switch on his arm and transformed into a tunneling 
machine (Oh yeah, I forgot to say he can transform into various vehicles) and burrowed
deep into the earth.

***

Flux was the smart one, he decided to tactfully kill the third innkeeper.

“Hello, my name is Flux Capacitor. I see you have a help wanted sign up in the window.”

“Yes, I do.” the inn manager said, and so Flux was hired.

27 years later, Flux had become assistant manager, and the current inn manager’s health
was failing.

“*cough* Flux my boy, I have something to tell you..” The inn manager muttered and
coughed.

“So do I.” Flux said, reaching into a concealed pocket in his back, revealing a knife. He
rose it above his head and stabbed the old innkeeper.

“Mission complete!” Flux yelled triumphantly and stepped outside. Ark was sitting against
a wall and Phil was curled up on the ground sleeping.

“Hey Phil!” Ark prodded Phil “Wake up, you’ve been sleeping for 27 years and Flux is
finished his mission.”

And then Phil woke up.

“This has been our shortest mission.” Phil sleepily mumbled. “Our first mission took 53
years, our second mission was 32 years and then our third was 60 years.”

“Logically, we should be dead. But we aren’t.” Ark gloated.

“Where did that Jay-lord go?” Flux asked, looked around and noticing the total lack of
Jayness.

“I think he burrowed under the ground, at this rate he’s probably burning in the earth’s
core.” Ark said.

Suddenly Jay burst forth from the earth.

“Hi.” everyone said.

Then the chapter ended.