Broken
Do you know what a broken heart feels like? It feels like your whole body tightens, you can't breathe, and your face scrunches itself into pain, and you try to fight the tears but you can't? You feel like you just want to crawl into the darkness and die. You don't want anyone to say hello. You sure don't want any one to ask you how you are because they will see it in your eyes. So you hide and avoid everyone. You speak to no one. At work you shut your door. You try to think of other things, but you can't because your thoughts keep going back to him. Why? is the only question you ask. You can't smile anymore. Your sadness, your hurt fills up in that little spot in the center of your chest and you feel like your heart will just stop beating. You wish it would. You try to talk yourself out of it but you can't.
Rejection: a word that should not exist. You can't feel anger because all you feel is pain. You can't enjoy the sunshine because all you feel is darkness: an abyss of nothing. You are like a zombie: the living dead. You move around slowly without purpose only to do what absolutely must be done. You can't eat; you can't sleep. Time stops. One minute is like a thousand years. You hate time. You can't talk to friends because you don't want advice. You can't watch TV because you can't stand the laughter or watching actors fall in love. You don't listen to music because love songs bring on the memories and the tears.
You search for answers in your mind but there are none. Circular reasoning is all you do over and over and over. You think about loving him and you know he's gone. There is nothing you can do. You feel helpless and lost. A vast-land of desert: without end. You cry and it doesn't help. You pray he calls but the days go bye. Every time you hear a car door shut, a knock on the door, or the phone ring, your heart jumps only to stop again. You have fallen into the pits of despair. There is no way out. You feel cheated. All you can do is feel your broken heart and cry.
Written by Beverley©
Music:"It Must Have Been Love" by Celine Dion in the movie "Pretty Woman"
