The Fear Inside
My apprehension grew as our small plane lifted above the dense wet fog. Jim and I had been flying for hours now and this was the first time we were able to ascend above the mist. The air seemed so much heavier and thicker now and it was getting increasinly difficult to breathe. I felt as though there was a great pressure on my chest. I felt suffocated. I looked over to Jim and noticed the blank expression on his face. I knew then, that there was soemthing very wrong. My heart was beating rapidly now and my body went limp. Silence surrounded me.
Some time later I awoke. It was as though we were in some distant past. Jim looked over at me and grasped my hand as if to reassure me that all would be well, but my sense of uneasiness was mounting moment by moment.
Jim explained the instrument panel on the plane had just quit working. There was no reasonable explanation we could give eachother for this event. All we could do was hold eachother's hand feel the only sense of security that was available to us.
The fog cleared completely now. It was as if we had flown through a wall. Everything was clear although it took my eyes a moment to focus in this new brightness.Then we both saw below us some form of prehistoric world. A world, it seemed, that had ended long ago. The red crusted ground seemed so dry and fruitless except for the contrast of glaciers that made me rigid with fear. God, how I wanted to be at home laying in the whirlpool or watching television. I wondered if I would ever see home again.
There was no life here, no plants, no animals, no people. The only existence in this world was Jim and I. The only sound was from our little aircraft. Here we were, in a world within a world. Our sense of direction was lost to some mysterious transaction between the two worlds. Jim and I were devoid of all hope at this point and neither of us even dared to pray as we both stayed clear of God. We are strong atheists. Neither of us needed a crutch, we believed in ourselves. Yet, what could we do now? I did not want to be deserted in this wasteland of death.
The fear within me was taking control again, my head was pounding and I knew any second now my heart would quit beating. Jim was perspiring, his fear was taking now. If Jim let go of himself and fainted, we would crash. I never learned to fly the aircraft. Jim always said I should I should in case something ever did go wrong. Why didn't I learn?
I don't know how long we were flying for this time. Time had no measurement here. In the distance fog was closing in again. I felt as though the fog was a blanket of death coming to surround us and put us to rest. I'm not sure I cared anymore.
The blanket of fog grew heavier and I allowed it to take me. Sleep now was so restful and if it was a sleep in death, at least I would feel no more fear of existing is desolation.
When I heard Jim's voice, at first, I believed I had died and heard God calling out to me. How strange, I thought, that God would want me after I professed to strongly to atheism. It was Jim's touch that brought me back to reality. There outside the plane I could see our world. A world of life and beauty and intelligence. A world I thought, where God does exist.
Written by Beverley ©
Picture: Pilot by Roguehobbit - Deviant Art
Music: "It's a Wonderful World"
