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Thoughts


Fauquier at Sunset

Clouds decend from the night sky. A quarter cresent moon shines in a starless sky. She is lonely tonight. Images cast themselves across the dusty pathway ahead. The wind blows through my hair and tries to whisper to me. I don't understand. I close my eyes and cling to time that passes too quickly. Thoughts flow freely through my mind and I want to halt them a little because I want them all to have specific meanings. I want to discern them and categorize them: intuition, fear, knowledge, sanity, insanity, and desire. I can't retain my thoughts long enough to place them into tight neat little categories so I can understand. My thoughts are like the sands on the beach laying in place until a wave sweeps across them and reshuffles them. I break and I cry. There are wounds that never heal. I would like to love but there is always that sentiment that it will leave me. Maybe love is an illusion.

I am not a silent person, I speak rather freely. I believe in being real and I am not afraid to tell you who I am. You will either care or not care. There is no in between.

Right now I am aware of the perfect silence that surrounds me. It is this silence that stays with me in the darkest hours of the night. There is no breath beside me, no warmth, no comfort near me. All that exists is the dark silence that screams out loud. Who has heard my tear? Who has known my heart? I long for something to be present within me, something quiet and full.

I am always alone by the side of the road. I walk along slowly towards the water. I stand on the sands and watch my thoughts being shuffled aimlessly about. I allow my soul to climb an abandoned raft. I watch my soul sail off on the raft to where the lake meets the night sky. My soul then soars off into the night sky to dance with the stars forever.

Written by Beverley ©
Music: "Play Me" by Neil Diamond