7/1/00 I've been spending several hours each day downtown with Seb each afternoon. With all the festivals, we just lay out in the sunshine and meet people. I'm in my element! I have layer upon layer of tan line on me, but am I ever meeting some interesting people. It's funny how as soon as you begin to live life rather than watch it people are a lot more drawn to you.

7/2/00 Why do they celebrate Canada's birthday with an enormous party yet mine goes virtually ignored? Seb and I spent most of the day down at City Hall and the Legislature doing the zillions of family activities they had there. Sometimes living in the provincial capital has real benefits. At about 5 we came home, supposedly to get Logan and hubby to head back downtown, but hubby decided we weren't going. I said maybe you aren't, but I am, so Seb and I went out again. We had a really good time. There was a marvelous military display from Nova Scotia that included a marching band and a gun display. Since I am from there it brought back a lot of fond memories. We also enjoyed an airforce flyover manouver display, Seb lover the helicopters but I prefered the jets. And the fireworks were amazing, they had maple leaves lighting up the sky left right and center. A good time was had by all.

7/6/00 As I mentioned before, today I went to a highland dance competition with the boys. If I ever see a kilt again it will be too soon! The competition was at West Edmonton Mall, and since I live here I rarely realize just how amazing it is. Let me give you a few facts. To start with, the thing has 800 stores. I think that's an insane amount, but the tourists seem to love it. And then there's the attractions. Galaxyland. Home of (to the best of my knowledge) the worlds largest indoor rollercoaster. I've been on the roller coaster, in my opinion Space Mountain in Florida is MUCH more nausia inducing. Galaxyland has a ton of other rides, and also a kids section called Galaxy Kids. Incidentaly, that's where we had Seb's second birthday party. World Waterpark. Just what it sounds like. It has a huge wave pool that's kinda neat, and what seems like endless water slides. It's bloody expensive and filled to the brim with tourists. The best part of it is the cute lifeguards (hey, it's the closest thing to a beach I have in Edmonton let me enjoy the lifeguards). There's also bungee jumping into the wave pool. One of my favourite parts of the mall is the lake. It has the Deep Sea Adventure, which is a submarine ride. The lake is huge enough to hold 3 full sized subs. My dad used to joke that if Canada was ever in a war the Canadian Navy would be calling on West Ed Mall to put their submarines into battle, they're better equiped than the military ones. The lake also has a dolphin show that's cute the first 300 or so times, and Sea Life Caverns which is a cheap knockoff of Sea World. I spent a good chunk of my younger years at the Ice Palace. It's a skating rink (could you guess?), they often host the Oiler's training sessions. It's also where the competition I was at today was held. Professor WEM's Adventure Golf is a 18 hole (if I remember correctly) miniature gold course. It's cute, but nothing special. However they also have a full sized driving range on the roof, it looks funny because in that section there are nets all around the roof to catch misguided balls. There are also--2 hotels, Europa Boulevard (full of imitation European boutiques), 26 movie theatres, over 100 restaurants, art galleries, car shops, internet cafes, bingo, go carts, a 3D theatre, a dinner theatre, tons of bars and pubs, a comedy club, spas and salons, a couple of post offices, medical, dental, and eye clinics, a high school, a college, a daycare, 2 casinos, a church, Bourbon Street (as close as I'll get to New Orleans, full of Cajun restaurants and stuff)and a police station. Now, the question i ask every time I go there and battle my way through herds of lost tourists and arogant Edmontonians is... Why? Why does any one mall need to be this big? Who needs 3 McDonalds under the same roof? And why the hell, with all the stuff they do have, do they not have a grocery store?!?!

8/12/00 Okay, I guess I'd better catch y'all up on my life. It's totally screwed up, but not in a bad way. Now, I know that doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. How about, it's totally unlike what it used to be, but I'm coping with it better than I ever would have before. I'm still heavily attending the summer festivals here. In fact, I just got home from dancing my butt off for 3 hours, the current festival is a Caribbean Carnival and the boys and I are having a blast at it. I can't wait until Sunday, they're having a family theme and hubby is hoping to go with us. It will be nice to do something as a family.

9/3 I did a double take when I saw your subject line, but then I remembered you Americans have a longer Autumn than us. Ours was about 2 weeks, the trees are now almost done changing colours and the streets are littered with fallen leaves. The air carries the promise of snow already. As I stood at the window and watched the four kids and hubby playing outside yesterday I could see their breath fog the air as they laughed. Judging by various aches and pains of mine (that are better than a barometer) we should have snow within the week, maybe two at the outside. Welcome to Autumn in Edmonton, don't blink or you'll miss it.

9/3 Of Happy Days are Here Again. I'm not sure why I'm posting, maybe because I always share my heartaches. I'd like to share moments like this with y'all as well. As I sit and type, enjoying the calmness that always comes over me when I come into this club, my husband's already off to work and I'm hanging out with my kids. Sebby's playing with his chalkboard, trying really hard to make an A that looks like an A. Logan is going back and forth between helping Seb and gnawing on my ankles. We're all happy, snacking on cookies and lemonade. It's still raining outside and the sky is dark, but inside we are cozy and warm. I love moments like this, the joy in life that you can't plan. I have a lot of stressful issues on my mind, but right now all is calm. I'm more of a friend to my kids at this moment than a mother. Life is good.

9/5 Your brother is a person not a horse I should have raised fish. If they piss you off you just hold them head first over the toilet and say "are you ready to behave now?". I've tried that with my children, but they're too smart. They know they would never fit. I thought I was well prepared before my demonic hellions were born. Not only was I already a stepmother, but I researched parenting with a vengence. I knew about the insatiable curiousity kids have about everything so I read books creatively titled Questions Children Ask. I can now explain why grass is green and how an eye works without missing a beat. But Seb obviously didn't read the same books I did, he doesn't ask the right questions. The following happened this morning moments after I was dragged from a deep sleep by little fingers trying to remove my left eyeball. Sebastian: Mummy? Me: Yes Sebastian? Sebastian: Is that Daddy? Me: Yes Sebastian. Sebastian: Why? How do you respond to that? Well, because half your chromosones come from him kid, so don't piss him off or he'll take them back. I spend a lot of time looking like a deer caught naked in oncoming headlights when I talk to him. I feel like I'm just a little bit behind, and his patience with me are limited. As I type he has dragged his play kitchen thingy (any parent will know what I'm refering to) into the living room and has transformed it into a starship. He's sitting astride it watching Little Mermaid for the umpteenth time, playing air slide trombone along with the songs. I'm counting the days until preschool starts. Thank God I'll finally have 3 out of 4 in school.

Let me tell you about my day, aside from the aforementioned experiences with the kids. I've spent the day utterly dedicated to doing, well, pretty much nothing at all. I've decided after being sick for well over 3 or so weeks I'm going to let myself be sick dammit and take an actual day off. I'll regret it tomorrow when I'm stuck with double the work, but what the hell. I'm going to be sick today. My mother showed up unexpectedly this afternoon and my hourse looks like a nuclear missile test site. I just shrugged and said I'm sick. I haven't done laundry in a week and soon I'll have to resort to dressing the kids in aluminum foil. Oh well, I'm sick. I haven't cooked a meal more complex than grilled cheese sandwiches since before Ian was here. Oh well, I don't have an appetite. Ergo I really have no interest in cooking. I think I should have taken some time off a long time ago. I'm at the tail end of the pnemonia now, but I have a hell of a case of bronchitis aggravated by asthma. On top of that I had an anaphalactic (Ian? Spell check?) reaction to, of all things, sesame seeds a couple of nights ago. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm being sick, dammit. Now, does somebody want to explain that to my husband when I serve him Kraft Dinner on a paper plate for supper tonight?

9/7 Ya know those days where you dearly want to kill your child? Those days where you hit your last nerve 4 hours ago and the only thing keeping you from losing it is the law? Those days where, of course, you have a zillion and one things to do and your child won't permit you to do any of them? Welcome to today. I've counted to ten before I yell so many times today I feel like an accountant. I've broke up multiple fights over, get this, posession of a banana peel. I have a list of things to do today that's so long I could wallpaper my fridge in it. What have I done today aside from deal with kids? This is about the sum total. 1. I ran a sink full of water to do dishes. Of course there are no dishes in it, I was interrupted before I had a chance to do that. 2. I took that vacuum cleaner from the closet to the bottom of the stairs, where it continues to sit. Eventually I will have the chance to plug it in. 3. I tied the kids hands up with licorice laces and let them eat their way out of their bonds. Not only did they enjoy this, but it actually kept them still for 2 whole minutes. 4. Okay dammit, there is no number 4. That's all I've done today. Anyone want a pair of slightly used children? No unreasonable offers refused.

9/11/00 Somehow I truly doubt it! Geez, the only way I've managed to steal a couple of moments to post was to send Sebastian on a search through his books looking for a Cinderella book. It was a dirty trick, I know the only Cinderella books we have I've already packed for the move, but it's bought me a few moments of peace. My life is hectic but for the most part I'm loving it. I didn't manage to make it out socially this weekend, but my fingers are crossed for the next one. Lemme see, what else. Oh, it's Sebastian's third birthday tomorrow. We're mostly letting it pass by unnoticed, we'll be having a party on the 17th, but I'm not quite able to deal with the thought of having a 3 year old child. It's brought up other emotions as well, but I'll get into those when I have a bit more time (Ha! As if I'll ever have time for anything!) I'm pretty much still doing the same old same old up north, though I'm finally able to go outside a little bit more. I'm trying not to overdo it, I don't want a relapse, but is it ever nice to finally be able to breathe after 3 weeks! Okay, I'm digressing from a topic that didn't really exist in the first place. Now THAT'S talent. I'll end here. 9/13/00 What a hectic past couple of days I've had, both in the good and bad sense. Yesterday was, of course, Sebastian's third birthday. I think it shocked me into how quickly my firstborn is growing up, and that realization hit me hard. All in all I was very down yesterday. Kinda frustrating, but it passed. Today has been great, I went out with Seb for a bit while Logan and hubby napped and we had a really good time. I miss being able to do that, I didn't realize how much being sick had deprived me from the little things I love. Currently Sebastian is taking his first nap in months and I'm taking full advantage of the unexpected free time. 9/14 These are actually all things my newly three year old Sebby has said to me today, he seems to be on a roll and thinking as much as his mum does about life. I've taken the liberty of translating from Sebby speech into a more adult language. Said while playing outside this morning-- "Play in the mud whenever you can, mum, you never know when it's going to snow" Said after he knocked Logan over and was scolded for it-- Me "Sebby, that was mean you made Logan cry!" Sebby "I didn't make him cry, mum, he cries all the time anyway!" Said after I was rolling on the floor laughing at him, and commented that he was nuts-- "I'm not nuts mum, I'm a little shit" (I swear I don't know where he picked that one up! Though I do have a guilty look on my face) Said while watching Pocohontas this morning-- "Why didn't they all just kiss and make up?" Said while watching me pack my millionth box for the move-- "Give up mum" This kid keeps me in stitches, and I think my life would be easier if I took his advice once in awhile.

oct move

10/25 If growing up means losing the childlike outlook on life that makes me crawl around with my kids on the floor then I'm not planning on growing up either. If it means I have to sacrifice coming home from a walk with the kids with pockets full to the point of bursting with rocks then it's not for me. And, if it means that I can't dance wildly around the house improvising while i should be cleaning then I'll take a pass. That being said, my life is not fullfilled by changing diapers and making bottles. I plan to never be old. But I have to face facts, one day I'll have to pretend it.

10/26 I'm pregnant, and by all signs it's going to be a viable one. It's my miracle baby. I was going to keep from mentioning it here until I had proof positive that it's not ectopic, but I should have known better

10/30 time change Geez, if you wanna see a confused family you should have been in my house today. With 2 kids whose schedules go by their inner clocks rather than what time the rest of Edmonton says it is, and both Sebby and I having a severe lack of sleep last night, we've looked like something out of a comedy show today. Both the boys and I were sound asleep by quarter past 5 this evening. Before supper, before baths, before anything. Logan's down for the night still, but Seb and I were up (by Seb's choice) at 7, and I just managed to get him back to sleep now. Lord knows when I'll doze again tonight. So here I am, only one conscious in the house, and wide awake. What do I do?

10/30 I'm condensing all my thank yous regarding the pregnancy into one. I love that you guys are (almost) as excited as I am, I still feel as though I'm going to explode into little excited Heaven flames every time I think of it! And with each passing day, my confidence grows that both the baby and I are going to be okay. As for how far along I am, that's a tricky question. Judging by my dates I'm around 6 or 7 weeks, but I think I'm much farther than that. I can trace the slight queasiness that is my version of morning sickness back about 2 and a half months, and for the past week I've been already getting the butterfly flutters (anyone who remembers early stages of pregnancy will know what I'm talking about, when it's too early for kicks but it feels like you've got a hoard of wild butterflys trapped in your abdomen). I'd guess 3 months, but I really have no clue. I'll be having my first obstetrician (it's been so long since I was pregnant I can't even remember how to spell that) on November the 8th, and I'll have a better idea then. After that appointment will also be when I announce to friends and family about the baby, I just don't want to do it until I can see for myself on ultrasound that it's not ectopic. I'll keep y'all closely updated over the next few months for sure!

10/31 Where the heck are they? My kids are chomping at the bit to get on their trick or treating way, and there's not a kid in sight outside. The boys and I have been dressed since 2PM because my mom came over to take pictures soon and if Halloween doesn't start soon we'll have to start it ourselves. Neither of them have any makeup left on, and their costumes are in complete disaray. Just as a point of interest, Jessica is a princess (one that I spent many hours gluing rhinestones on), Nickoli is Winnie the Pooh, Sebastian is a clown (typcasting I know), Logan is a pink bunny and I'm a slightly pregnant butterfly. Happy Halloween to all!

11/3 I figured I could either sulk around my house and let every other part of my life fall to shambles because I'm upset right now, or acknowledge my emotions and get on to the next thing life brings me. I'm still quite upset, but it's not taking on the bitterness that was so evident yesterday. Now I have to accept that things around me change without my control, and much as I think I would be a good Prime Minister I just don't have that much control. So, what's done is done, and now to go on to the next thing. And right now the next thing on the list is catch up on all my damn housework I've been avoiding, and try to have enough clean clothes for my boys for the weekend. They're having their first overnight experience on Saturday, that'll be nice. I have a ton of stuff to catch up on in here as well, but I'm sure it can wait until tonight. Hubby will be working (surprise surprise) so my night is my own. Ya know, though I've been dreading having a night with nobody accessible to talk to, I think I'm looking forward to it. Maybe I could use an evening to do what I want, no expectations. Skate Canada is on tonight and I'm still pretty skating obsessed. A final note, I'm sorry my posts are a bit jumbled right now. I feel as though my brain has gone through the dryer.

11/7 As for a little bit of a catch up in my own life, I'm putting the time hubby is out of town to good use and moving everything around that he didn't want me to. It's great, I've got the computer very easily accessible. Right now for example Logan is sleeping, Seb is dressed up like a princess (don't ask, I figured it won't do him any harm at age 3) dancing around the room singing the soundtrack of Cinderella (this kid really cracks me up sometimes) and I had a few minutes to myself since the computer is right here. Now all I gotta do is move the fridge downstairs into the bar and I'll be all set. Can you just see that? Pregnant Heaven lugging a fridge downstairs.

11/8 It's Official! I'm gonna be a Mommy...again!!! I just got back from the doctor, and there was (almost) nothing but good news. Everything's going wonderfully, she's irate that the receptionist didn't fit me in earlier with such a high possibility of an ectopic, and oh wow I barely know what to say I'm just so excited. The only bad news was that she couldn't pick up a heartbeat. Now, going by my dates that's perfectly normal. My dates would put me at about 2 months along. But it's something to watch, because she agrees with me that I'm most likely farther than that. But, she says the baby is right smack dab in the middle, so unless there's no heartbeat in a month there's no problems at all. Woohooo!!!!!

11/14 You can always tell when Mr Dressup is on, because it allows me enough time to hop online and do a post. Seb's half watching that, and half painting in his latest paint with water book. Only inconvenience is that I have to give him one page at a time, I learned my lesson awhile ago with that one. The little pain in the butt is too bright for his own good, to save time he just poured water over the entire book and painted all the pictures at once. I won't be able to do responses right now dammit, I promised Seb we'll make something messy with glitter and construction paper. He doesn't care what the end result is, as long as he gets to make a mess in the process

11/22 If this is real life Stop the world and let me off. I've resigned myself to never catching up with anything, ever again. I just got back from yet more Christmas shopping with the kids so I'm in for another night of struggling with wrapping paper. Logan's already in bed and Seb is absorbed in the hockey game (Edmonton vs Toronto, I'm not sure what a 3 year old gets out of hockey but he's quiet so I'm not arguing).

11/23 for me from eric she dances among the stars of a steel blue sky she shines with purest love and whispers...... do not cry i am the beauty that never dies the light in my mothers eyes on wings, the gift of heaven...

11/27 I haven't changed my opinion that my kids are demon spawn from hell sent to punish me for having sex, but they really do have their moments. I was at one of the malls yesterday, trying to find something suitable for the gift exchange, and the kids were begging for McDonalds. So we went in and while I was standing with Logan ordering Sebby went over to look at a display of the Happy Meal toys. He was there for a minute when a little girl came over and stood hesitantly behind him. She was a cute little Asian girl, about 6, and totally bald. Seb turned around, noticed her, and grabbed her hand to pull her over to look at the toys with him. She was nervous at first, but after a minute they were chattering like long lost friends. I've worked hard with the kids to try to encourage equal treatment of everyone. I've told them about my family, which includes a Native grandmother and a mulatto grandfather. They're pretty tolerant of race, but I must admit I didn't expect this total acceptance of a little girl with no hair. It really warmed my heart, and I hope this attitude stays with him as he gets older. I was talking to her mom while we both watched them, and she said the little girl is going through chemo (which I had already assumed). She said that even harder than dealing with the cancer is dealing with the comments from others, and kids who won't play with her because they think they'll catch it. She said even some parents feel that way. Maybe the next generation will hold on to some of the tolerance I saw last night and the world will be a more pleasant place for everyone.

11/27 Have you ever had an outing that you plan to last about an hour and you end up being gone for four hours instead? That was my evening. I went downtown with the boys to look at the Christmas lights (City Hall is ablaze with colour, I just love it) and took advantage of the wide selection of stores to pick up a couple of Christmas gifts as well. I finally managed to get my gift exchange present, so I'll hopefully get that mailed out tomorrow, and I finished hubby's gifts as well. I think I'm also done the stocking stuffers, I'll have to find out for sure tonight after I have a chance to look at them all together. I'm definately ahead of where I normally am when December is about to begin.

12/5 I am just not a morning person. I've spent all night up and down with Seb who has decided to get sick, and when he got me at 5:30 I ended up too awake to doze off again. So here I am, shivering because the heat doesn't kick in to a human temperature for another 10 minutes (and if I touch the thermostat my house will be declared an official meltdown site) and trying to figure out how to convince hubby I need a nap today. This family has the worst timing for getting sick. All the doctors and stuff except for hospitals are on strike right now, so if Seb's really bad still when he gets up again we'll have to spend the day in emerg. Gee, that sounds like a lot of fun. But, I'd like to find out what's wrong with him. I can't tell if it's his sinuses or his lungs (oh I hope it's his sinuses) but the poor kid coughed himself awake all night.

12/6 In about an hour I'm heading out for my second doctor appointment, and this is D-Day for hearing the heartbeat. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but I'm trying not to dwell on it. There's really nothing I can do about it, except hope, so that's what I'm doing. I'm somewhat on the jumpy side today though, trying really hard not to think of all the possible complications. I'm still a far cry from guaranteed this baby yet, and for the first time in my life I'm really regreting a lot of my past behaviour. But as I said I'm not dwelling, so I'd better stop this post about it or else I'm going to end up obsessing until I get to the doctor. I'll post about how it went, positive or negative, when I get home.

We have a heartbeat!

12/7 Oh, one other thing that slipped my mind because I was so focused just on the heartbeat. When she did the Doppler to cheart for that heartbeat the baby was moving so much it kept interrupting the sound. I knew it wasn't just my imagination! Good Lord, I'm gonna have another Sebby! What on earth am I going to do with another Sebby? I'd better stop here, though I could go on and on. I'm going to be just horrible when this baby is finally born, you'll never be able to shut me up. Can you tell I'm just a little bit excited? It's funny, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I forget that I've actually managed to become pregnant again. When I remember I'm just awstruck by the odds against us, and the utter miracle that there have been no huge setbacks thus far. I guess sometimes I just think I'm dreaming and it can't possibly be true. When the doctor found the heartbeat, I was bouncing up and down, the doctor was hopping around the room, I think she's almost as amazed as I am by the whole thing. Anyway, I said I was going didn't I. I have dishes needing washing and kids needing some form of attention. I'll be back when I can be.

12/20 People are really beginning to bother me again, much the same as they did soon after I lost Lexie. It's about the baby. I know most comments that come my way are meant to be supportive, but they feel as though they're some of the cruelest things that could possibly be said. I know some of the fault is my own, I've told few people the dark details of this pregnancy, but even the ones I've given a brief overview to can be hurtful. It's almost enough to make me stop talking about it at all, because people don't see the joy I have. They only see the danger. When I first found out I was pregnant at all I was amazed with the miracle. My body has been through so much this year I was fairly confident it would need some recovery time at least. Then of course I had the huge worry that it was going to be another ectopic. My odds were increased just because I had had a previous one, and then increased on top of that because it was less than a year ago, and then increased again because I have extensive scar tissue. When I found out it wasn't ectopic that was my second miracle. Then at my first doctor appointment when she couldn't find the heartbeat it was like my world came crashing down around me. After beating the odds thus far I couldn't absorb the possibility that a totally new problem could lead to another medically necessary abortion. The came my third miracle when, a month later, the heartbeat was there and nice and strong. Of course this brings us up to present, sort of. I know this is all stuff I've gone over before, but I'm just trying to keep it all straight in my head as I tell it. Now, in come the other people I refered to. I've had many many people question my decision to have this baby at all. The key word here is MY decision. This is a very hard pregnancy, I need support to doubt from others. I have more than enough doubt internally to sustain myself as is. Others have asked me why I've decided to go through with it and put myself and the baby at risk. As long as I'm careful my risk is reasonably minimal (although increased if I keep getting sick like this) and, in my mind, the baby is better off at risk and given a chance to live than killed before it has any opportunities at all. I've had so many people tell me I'm being selfish I just walk away instead of trying to explain my motives to them. I've had people tell me I'm being unfair to my other kids. I've had people say I'm doing this for all the wrong reasons, which I almost laugh at because they inevitably say this before they know what my reasons are. And why does this all bother me so much? Probably because I have so many questions, doubts, and fears myself that most of the things people say ring true to me. But I have a perspective nobody else has. I am carrying my last natural child, and I spend day in and day out not knowing if it will survive. I spend hours at night waiting for that miniscule movement that will reassure me enough to let me sleep for awhile. This baby and I have already been through a lot together, and through my doubts I have that joy that keeps me going and keeps me hoping. I know we still have a long road ahead of us yet. Right now I have fairly bad dehydration and of course the damn pnemonia, and they're keeping a close eye on me. Not too far off in the future we may have a severly premature infant on our hands. I'm not sure how I'd deal with that one yet, I'm hoping I can figure it out when or if the time comes. But right now, I'm just trying to make it through day by day. And wishing people could be a little more thoughtful when they mentioned it to me.

12/24 So here it is, Christmas Eve, and I'm counting the hours until Christmas is done and over and life can begin to resume some sembalance of normalacy. I didn't feel like this until yesterday. That was when we did our big Christmas celebration, we opened about half the gifts and had the stepkids here and everything. Why on earth did I think it would be a good idea to buy remote control cars for both a 3 year old and a 6 year old? My ears are still ringing. And then on top of that we got Jessica an alarm set (she hates it when the little kids get into her stuff) that has a motion detector and an invisible beam with an alarm. My hearing may never be the same again. Actually, now that I relive yesterday it was pretty damn wonderful. Yes it was loud and hectic, but Christmas is supposed to be. I'm picking up pictures in about an hour so if I can get my scanner to work I'll get them on here today. Now I have to gear up for today, finishing my Christmas baking and last minute wrapping, and trying to keep the kids somewhere within the noise laws. Then tomorrow we open the other half of the presents (thank God I got rid of 5 garbage bags of toys a month ago or else I wouldn't have room for all this new stuff) and go out with my mom, then off for a visit with hubby's brother and his wife. I'm gonna need a vacation to recover from Christmas.

12/25 It took two boys exactly 8 minutes to unwrap 3000 gifts I spent two months wrapping. Seb then proceeded to sit in a chair and pop bubble wrap, while Logan sat in a box happy as a clam. Will parents never learn to get kids what they actually want? But it's been nice, hubby sure did surprise me. A few weeks ago he gave me a lot of money for nice maternity clothes for Christmas, so I wasn't expecting anything more than a few stocking stuffers today. But he got me a new digital camera! Woohooo! It's really neat, it has an infrared flash so I can take pictures in almost total darkness. It also has a motion detector built in.