Just like that...
Zac sat on the floor of Zoes room, stearing around the he realised how empty it seemed...
The posters on the walls covered the the painted hand prints of Zoe and Zac when she was three...He smiled...They had gotten in so much trouble for that...
It was over...How could it be over? She was there one minute, and then...just like that...she was gone...
Her suitcase sat un-opened on her bed. He new he was the only person who would unpack it, his mother hadn't spocken since the funeral.
Oh god the funeral...
It had been so horrable...Zac felt hollow as the memorie of her white coffin being lowered into the ground haunted his mind yet again. He was the only one who hadn't cried... He couldn't...She diddn't want that for him...If she was watching down on him,like she said she would, then he prayed she would find some comfort in the fact he was being strong for the rest of the family...
As he stood up and walked to her bed, his footsteps ecohed in the emptyness. The suitcase was a shattering reminder that she was not coming back...
He unziped it cearfully, then pulled it open.
His heart ached as he looked at the clothes gently folded into tidy piles. After a moment of hestation he reched out and picked up the first pile of her things. After placing them in one of her draws he returned to the suitcase.
At the bottom, sitting amoung some more of her possetions, was a little white book, with the inscription;
Diary
He picked it up, sat down on the floor, and opened it to the first page...
4 August 2007
Dear Diary...
How could he leave...? Zac said he will come home lots but Mummy said that will be only every now and then.
Im so sad. He went to live in another place. I dont know were LA is, but I bet its a long long way away. Mummy said its only a fly away, but I dont know how to fly. I wish Zacy would come home soon.
Love from Zoe.
Zac held the diary against his chest. She had only been six...
"She was alone..." He though misserable "She thought I had left her..."
For an hour Zac sat reading her accounts of life. He smiled as she wrote things he recalled only as sweet memorie's, and felt bits of his sole crumble as she wrote of her lonlyness. He had never known that when he hugged her goodbye at the airport, she would later write that he had left her again...
As he came to the last page's of her diary, Zac stood up, closed the book and ran out of the house.
Moments later he was at Mereediths front door.
"Zac...? Are you all right?" They haddn't spocken since that day in the hotel, but there was no need for him to say sorry as she hugged him. Some how she had already forgiven him.
"Im so sorry Zac..." She wispered.
"I cant do this Meredith..." Zac said in a shacky voice "Iv tryed but its so hard...I cant beleive... I cant belive thats it, thats the end...it doesn't feel over yet..." She nodded, and lead Zac into the house.
"Whats that?" Zac looked down at the diary in his hands.
"It was Zoes...Her diary..."Meredith bit her lip as they sat on the couch.
"Oh..."
"Iv read up to here...but god...in her room...in that house... I couldn't stand it..." Again Meredith nodded.
"What does it say...?"
"Every thing...It starts when she was six, goes till shes eight, then stop's till she's fifteen and finds out about the cancer...I stopped there..."
"Do you want to read on...?" Meredith asked softly. With out answering her he opened the book to the page were he had left off. The last page.
March 12, 2013
Zac read out loud. Meredith curled up next to him, leaning her head on his sholder.
"The day she died..." He wispered.
Dear Diary.
What have I done?
For months, Zac has done nothing but run around after me, forgetting his own life, including his life back home, and then, when he finely falls in love, I ruin it!
Her name is Meredith, and he loves her. I have never known Zac to fall in love, so she must be special.
I know Zac, He follows only his heart, and if he says he loves her...God knows he truely does...
But because of me, she walked out.
She may have been the girl he was destined for, the one he was going to marry some day. But because he had to choose between us, they may never have the chance.
I love Zac so much. But now he hates me. I would hate me. How could I be so self centered? To be so rude to her...Im so ashamed...
If god desided it was time for me to die now, I wouldn't mind... I have been so afraid latly, thinking that any day now... I will just be gone like that.
But not now...Im ready now...I dont want to fight any more...dont want to be a burdon to anyone...I just want to close my eyes and drift away...I wish god would just pick me up, and carrie me to heaven...
I dont like the way I am any more. Im not realy me... I feel like iv already died.
I can feel my self dieing jurnal...its not a bad feeling...just sad...
I dont know what else to write... This is the last page in this book and I cant think of any thing else to write...But if I had to write some thing finel on this page, if this is my last diary entry...it would be to Zac... If he ever finds this diary and reads it, this would be the only thing I would want him to know...
Thank you Zacy for loving me in a way that I always new you cared...Please dont ever forget me...
Love Zoe...
Diary finshed at 11:04am, Saturday, March 12th, 2013
As the diary was closed, Zac to felt like it had been finelised.
And as he cried in Merediths arms, he realised Zoe new. She new he would read that page. And she new when he did, he would be able to heal...
He would never forget her...Never...
************************************************************************
"Zacy...were do angels live...?" Zoe asked as Zac tucked her into bed.
"Angels? Why do you want to know that Zo...?" Zac asked, sitting beside her. She smiled.
"Mummy said thats what grandma is, An angel..." Zac Grinned.
"Angels live in heaven zo, but some angels live right here with us...maybe thats were grandma is, maybe she is watching us right now..."
"Are you going to be and angel Zacy...?" Zoe asked softly.
"No Zoe, you can only be an angel when god desides its your time to leave..."
"But your leaving Zacy..." Zoe said, pointing to his suitcase's.
"Im not going to heaven Zo... it will be a long time before im an angel..." Zoe curled into her bed, still looking at his luggage.
"But your going away, just like mummy said Grandma did..." Zac tapped her check and sighed.
"I will be back though Zoe...Grandma wont..."
"Promise you will be back zacy...?" She wispered.
"Yeah Zo, Ill never leave you for long..." After kissing her on the check, Zac stood up and and grabbed his suitcase's under his arms.
"Zacy...?" Zoe called as he closed the door.
"Yeah Zo..."
"Im going to be an angel one day...just like grandma..."Zac smiled at her,as he closed the door and left for his new home in LA.
He never saw her reach under her bed for a lttle book, ingraved...
Diary...
*************************************************************************
But Zoe never got to see, that five months after she died, Zac stood in the hospital once more, holding her little neice, and name sake...
"Hey Zoe..." Zac wisered down to the little baby in his arms.
"Im your uncle Zac..." Beside him Mereidith smiled.
"She's beautifull guys..." She said as they carried her to Sarah's bedside, were Ike sat proudly with his new wife.
"You have a beautifull daughter..."
THE END...
