The three brothers sat in the waiting room, anxiously awaiting any news the doctors could give them. Zac was furiously tugging on his hair and squirming in his seat with nervousness. ‘God, Jen, what’s wrong?’ he asked her in his mind, ‘Why did you do that?’
Taylor was simply staring at the wall, his blue eyes glazed over with the memories. Of her. What had changed? Something had; he could see it in her eyes. ‘Oh God,’ Taylor thought, ‘Her eyes...’ They were blazing with everything: fear, pain, sorrow...
His mind went back to an hour before. She had locked eyes with him. Taylor felt himself shudder at the memory. Her eyes seemed to scream pain. Then, suddenly, he watched them close, and, in horror, saw her fall to the ground, blood rushing out of her head.
He had run toward her, in shock. He tried as best as he could to stop the bleeding; he had taken off his shirt and wrapped it tightly around her head. Her head was placed in his lap as he looked down at her. “Kelsey...” he whispered, fighting back tears...
“Taylor...” Taylor snapped to attention. Isaac was staring intently at his brother, “The nurse wants to talk to us.” Taylor, clutching a spiral with the words ‘Soul Searching’ on it, and Zac followed Isaac out of the room, heads bowed solemnly, but a million thoughts and emotions rushing through their bodies.
The doctor greeted them at the door of his office, and quietly ushered them inside. Taylor and Zac numbly stumbled in and sat down. Isaac quickly sat down, between to two, trying to brace not only himself, but his brothers, for whatever news might be waiting for them.
The doctor paced uneasily around the room, trying to think of some way to tell them. He could feel Zac’s eyes boring into the back of his head. He slowly sat down in a chair and, after thinking for a few moments, decided putting it off would only make it worse. He raised his head to Zac’s and bluntly asked, “When was the last time you saw Jennifer eat anything?”
Zac jumped, a little startled by this question. He opened his mouth to say something but, as he thought, all that came out was, “Uhhh...ummm...” he leaned back in confusion, “Well...I never have.” The doctor nodded. “That’s what I expected. I hate to say this to you, especially, but Jennifer’s anoxeric,” the doctor dropped the bomb as bluntly and unexpectedly as Hiroshima.
Zac’s mouth dropped. “WHAT?” he exclaimed, pushing his chair back and rising up out of it. His face turned red with fury and surprise. “You’re not telling the truth,” Zac hissed furiously at the doctor. “She wouldn’t! She’s already...” Zac stared into the doctor’s face. Eyes, a dark green with a hurting honesty. Mouth, set in a tight, straight line across his face. His eyebrows were furrowed together in the unhappiness of being the bearer of this news.
Zac’s voice dropped, “Why?” he whispered, a tear sliding down his face slowly. He quickly wiped it away from his face, “Where is she?” he asked the doctor. He didn’t care whether Jennifer was allowed visitors or not; he was going to see her. The doctor looked up at Zac and his blazing, confused caramel eyes and replied quietly, “Room 239.” Zac nodded his head in thanks, then walked out of the room.
Isaac got up to follow his brother, and Taylor was about to do the same when the doctor said, “Stay.” Taylor looked at him in puzzlement, but obeyed, as did Isaac. The doctor tapped his desk repeatedly for a few moments. Jennifer’s news had been hard enough, but what he knew about Kelsey...
The doctor asked slowly, “How long did you know Kelsey before this happened?” Taylor and Isaac exchanged looks of questions but Isaac eventually answered, “We knew her when we were younger, but we only saw her again recently.” The doctor nodded.
“Well, the gun Kelsey shot herself with wasn’t hers. It belonged to her boyfriend, Jy-” the doctor was cut short by Taylor’s, “Her WHAT?” he flung himself across the desk, beating down the doctor with his eyes. His breathing was coming in short, quick gasps and his eyes blazed with fire. His blonde locks tumbled across his face in a look of rage. His knuckles were turning wait as he gripped his fists tightly together.
“Her boyfriend,” the doctor repeated, “And I strongly suggest you save that response for him, and not waste it on me,” he continued, undazzled. Taylor sat back down in his chair slowly, his chest heavily with embarrassment and anger.
“She’s in stable condition right now. Luckily the bullet didn’t cause her much damage. But we’ve performed surgery on her and we were able to get the bullet out before it became too deeply embedded in her brain.” The doctor went on, rambling about operations and medicines when all Taylor could hear was, “Her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. Her boyfriend.” The doctor’s voice ran through his head, mocking him.
“The bastard,” Taylor muttered under his breath. He could feel his anger rising slowly, becoming a volcano ready to explode. Then suddenly he heard, “You can see her if you want.” His head snapped up, blue eyes looking like ice daggers, “Where?” The doctor replied, “Room 237; we got her and Jennifer as close to each other as we could.” Taylor had already left before the doctor could end his sentence.
Taylor hurried to the second floor as fast as possible. He ran quickly by all the doctors and nurses. He heard murmurs of recognition but didn’t stop until he ran into a body which held him forcefully back. “We need to talk,” Zac told his brother, eyes pleading. “Not now, Zac, I have to see-” “You need to know something before you see her,” Zac responded. He wasn’t sure how he could tell Taylor, but he knew Taylor deserved to know.
Taylor’s shoulders slumped in defeat and Zac made their way to the waiting room once again. Zac sat Taylor down before sitting down on the table in front of him. Zac slowly began, “Well, Jennifer told me something when I went to visit her...”
Zac rushed into the room and stopped dead in his tracks. There she was. But strangely, it wasn’t her at all. He looked at her, in shock. Her blonde locks tumbled against her pillow, limp and lifeless. Her face had gone amazingly pale and she had tubes running in and out of her body. Her body, just a few hours before which had been moving and full of life, now moved very little and seemed incredibly thin.
“Oh, Jen...” Zac whispered softly, letting his eyes run over her. She opened her eyes slowly and let a weak smile form on her lips, “Hey there,” she whispered. Zac walked slowly toward her, still lured by her sweet voice. He carefully took her weak hand in his. He looked for a moment at the comparision. His was tan and large, fingers carefully wrapped around hers. Hers was pale and looked so incredibly small and fragile.
“Jennifer, why did you d-” Zac began but was cut short by Jennifer, “Shhh, Zac. This isn’t about me right now. I’ll get better. I promise,” she added, seeing that look in his eyes, “But I need to know about Kelsey...and so do you.”
Zac stared at her. What on God’s green earth would he want to know about Kelsey? All he wanted to do was make Jennifer get better, if he had to force feed her Twinkies for the rest of her life. Jennifer whispered, “If you help her get better, I’ll get better.” This was all Zac needed to hear. He’d do anything for Jennifer. “Tell me,” he whispered.
Jennifer began. And she didn’t allow Zac to ask questions, nor did she watch his face as she told him about Kelsey and Jyson. She told him everything. About the alcohol. The rape. The beatings. About when Kelsey first told her. Everything. “He’s why.” Jennifer ended.
Taylor stared at his younger brother. “No...” he began, but Zac quickly got up and left the room, feeling Taylor needed to be alone. Also, somewhere deep inside of him, he couldn’t stand to see Taylor in this much pain.
Taylor stared at the empty space in front of him. He sat, letting the feelings slowly leak through him. Surprise. Hate. Anger. Love. Sadness. Pain. He felt it overcoming him, taking him over. It leaked through his muscles and heart, making him weak...sad...lonely...
Suddenly he realized his fingers were groping at the spiral Kelsey had with her at the cliff. He looked at if for a moment. Faded. Soul Searching. Old. He slowly let himself drift through the pages as he saw her hand-writing. He didn’t read anything until he came to a poem called ‘Dream’:
For the first time since this had happened, Taylor put his head into his hands, and cried.
