Taylor laid wide awake in bed that night, staring at the ceiling before him. He couldn’t really explain to anybody what had happened. All night he had been griping at everybody. Nobody knew what had happened between him and Kelsey; they never even suspected that.
Taylor had gone on one of those emotional roller coasters; to him it was a new experience. First he had been stunned, then upset, then sad, and finally anger came. Taylor’s whole heart hardened as he reasoned that Kelsey had lied to him, saying she loved him, that she only used to him to be able to say “I went out with Taylor Hanson!” In the dark, his cold ice blue eyes glared at the ceiling. His heart refused to believe that she really loved him. But in the back of his mind he kept remembering the clearness, the vulnerability of her eyes whenever he gazed into them. The touch of her skin and the way she almost trembled when he touched her.
“Damn it all.” he muttered into the dark air. Then he heard Zac murmur softly, “Jeni...” Taylor almost screamed and choked Zac right then and there.
The next morning Zac heard a knock on the hotel door. Standing as tall as he possibly could, he looked through the peep hole and saw that it was Jennifer. “Jeni!” he yelled, a grin forming on his face. He opened the door and immediately gave her a huge bear hug.
Jennifer stumbled a little into Zac’s embrace. She smiled and whispered, “It’s so nice to be loved.” Zac’s cheeks reddened when suddenly he remembered the surprise he had gotten her. “Just stay here for a sec, okay?” he asked her, his caramel eyes pleading with her. She smiled as her heart melted. “Sure.” she whispered before sweetly biting his ear softly. Zac blushed even deeper and quickly darted out of the room.
“Damn it; watch where the hell you’re going!” came Taylor’s rough voice. Jennifer sat up, startled. Taylor never talked that way to Zac. Eventually Taylor came into the room and stared at Jennifer with his blood shot eyes. She stared, unbelieving. All of the shine had gone out of his sky blue eyes; now they were clouded and a dark, threatening blue. “Why the hell are you here?” he practically screamed at her.
‘Damn they don’t have to all rub it in my face that Zac’s girl cared about him and mine didn’t!’ Taylor’s mind rebeliously thought. “Taylor...what’s wrong?” Jennifer’s words choked in her throat as she spoke them. Jennifer knew what was wrong...but she didn’t have the heart to admit it.
Taylor saw how innocent she was staring at him and how much her vulnerability at that moment reminded him of Kelsey. He snapped. “Damn it you bitch what do you think? She lied! She used me and I loved her! And now you and Zac are all lovey-dovey. Damn it all! All because of some lying, using, stupid, bitch that I thought I loved!” Taylor’s eyes saw red as he yelled and screamed making himself hoarse.
Jennifer, at first, had pitied Taylor. But as he went on, her eyes narrowed. Nobody called her best friend a bitch. “Shut up, Jordan Taylor Hanson!” she said, screaming right into his face. “You think she enjoyed hurting you? Do you? Because if you do you’re pretty damn wrong! She did it because of you and your music! Because of the fact millions of girls are in love with you! Because if they found out you had a girlfriend you might lose some of your popularity! She put your music in front of her feelings! And you call her a bitch!?!?” Jennifer’s last words left her mouth in her last breath, and she stopped but continued staring into Taylor’s eyes. She saw them soften in confusion.
“You mean that’s why...” Taylor stuttered. It was all so frustrating. What was going on? “She didn’t lie to me?” He gave Jennifer a puppy-dog look, not even knowing he was doing so. Jennifer felt her hard heart soften at Taylor’s words. “No, she didn’t. I had to convince her just to perform today. Usually nothing stops her from performing. But she was so upset over you...” Jennifer stopped, not knowing what to say.
Taylor’s head snapped up. “Where is she performing?” he asked, jumping up and grabbing a comb and his sunglasses. Jennifer said the restaurant, wondering what was in Taylor’s head. “Thanks.” Taylor said, his voice slowly returning to normal. Then he ran off, leaving Jennifer alone on the coach.
Taylor looked around him. It was like one of those movies; the performer was onstage, alone, sitting on a bar stool as the cigarette smoke slowly curled in the dark atmosphere. He felt his heart stop when he saw her. Her dark brown locks framed her face, which she had obviously just washed. Her eyes quickly scanned the audience when they fell on him. Taylor cringed inside when he saw her lower lip tremble and eyes suddenly transform into the vulnerability he had come to know so well. Her eyes quickly went to the microphone as the spot light shone on her and the restaurant quietened.
Taylor sat down in the corner of the dark restaurant as Kelsey’s sweet, pure voice slowly began to come through the air, streaked with her uncried tears...
As Kelsey sang the last word she gazed into Taylor’s eyes with a hurting intensity. Taylor could feel her feelings as his heart and soul remembered the night he told her he loved her, kissed her, had made her a part of him forever. He felt, rather than saw, the spotlight dim on her as her sweet voice slowly went beyond his reach.
Taylor’s tired eyes gazed around him. “Flight 101 to Los Angeles is now boarding.” He heard his famliy around him, hurrying him onto the plane. He stumbled blindly onto the plane and sat down at Zac’s command at the window seat. He numbly realized Zac was trying to make him feel better. But it wasn’t working.
Taylor turned his head and looked out the window at the city that had brought him hate, bruises, love, heartbreak, sadness, and anger. His lower lip trembled as he whispered “I’d give my all, too.”
Then the plane took off.
