The Mighty Duck's Love Line #2

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Once more, that number's 555-DIVE!

• NOSE DIVE- Welcome back to my love line, where the Divester will give all you pathetic humans advice on love! (and hopefully pick up a date or two) Caller, you're on!
• CALLER #1- Yeah, is this the love line?
• NOSE DIVE- You got it, Buddy, what can I do for ya?
• CALLER #1- I was just wondering...what do you do if you tried to launch a rocket from your room accidentally setting the curtains on fire and you put it out with your Mom's poodle, Snowball, turning him black when Mom's coming back home in an hour?
• NOSE DIVE- What kind of fucked up question is that?! This is a LOVE line, you idiot, not a 'save your ass from being grounded' hotline!
• CALLER #1- PLEASE! I'M DESPARATE!!
• NOSE DIVE- Fine. Got any white-out in your house?
• CALLER #1 - Yeah...
• NOSE DIVE-Good. Paint Snowball white and throw out the curtains. PROBLEM SOLVED! Next caller!
• CALLER #2 - Hey, is this Nose Dive?
• NOSE DIVE - Thaaat's me!!
• CALLER #2 - Oh my God! I can't believe I got through! Wow. I just wanted you to know that you're my favorite character...I think you're really hot.
• NOSE DIVE - Of course you do. So, what's your name?
• CALLER #2 - Fred Miller.
• NOSE DIVE - NEXT CALLER!!!
• CALLER #3 - Is this a...ugh...Mighty Duck?
• NOSE DIVE - You got it. Hey, you sound kinda familiar...do I know you?
• CALLER #3 - This is Lord Dragaunus. I have planted explosives around your base set to go off in approximately ten seconds. PREPARE TO DIE, DUCK! MUHAHAHAHA!!!
• NOSE DIVE - AHHHHHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
• GRIN - Is he gone? Good. Welcome to Grin's Love Line, and here's today's tip...voice modifiers are a duck's best friend. I see we have a caller.
• CALLER #4 - Hey Grin. Look I got this problem. I just found out my girl was cheating on me...with my father. What should I do?
• GRIN - I got one word for you pal...adoption. Next caller, you're on the air.
• CALLER #5 - Hello, Grin. I just called to confess my undying love to you. I want to have your children.
• GRIN - Uhh, thanks...I, uh,... next caller!

• CALLER #6 - Hi. I was wondering... does Wild Wing wear boxers, or briefs?
• GRIN - Definitely boxers. Why do you want to know?
• CALLER #6 - You see, I had a bet with one of my friends. I said he wears boxers, she says briefs. Now I won and she has to flash the school tomorrow!
• GRIN - Ladies and Gentleman, this is conclusive proof...the teens of today have way too much time on their hands.
• WILD WING - I'll say.
• GRIN - Well, if it isn't Wild Wing. Uh oh, looks like he's in leader mode.
• WILD WING - Grin, did you steal the show from Nose Dive again?
• GRIN - No, he just kinda ran off.
• WILD WING - Well, fine. Carry on. Just remember, we've got hockey practice later tonight.
• GRIN - You know, I hate your mood swings.
• WILD WING - I can't help it! Look, I've gotta go organize some plays for the next game. I'll see ya later.
• GRIN - Well, since your leaving, why don't you send someone else up here to be my co-host? Not Amber or Mara, They've already been my co-hosts.
• WILD WING - I'll do my best.
• GRIN - While I'm waiting, do we have another caller?
• CALLER #7 - Right here, Man. My name's Cindi, I'm dating this guy, and he's really sweet and funny and nice, but he's got this really loud, annoying laugh that I just hate! What should I do?
• GRIN - You can either tell him truthfully that it bothers you and you can both try to work out a peaceful resolution to your inner conflict, or you can hack his head off with a large knife and sleep with the captain of the football team.
• CALLER #7 - Wow! Gee, thanks Grin! You've solved all my problems! I'll go call the quarter back right now!
• GRIN - I love this job. Now where the hell is my co-host?! Not here yet? Dammit...well, next caller!
• CALLER #8 - Is this the Mighty Duck's Love Line?
• GRIN - Why yes it is, how may I help you?
• CALLER #8 - I've got a phone bill here for $8, 596.00. Who should I be sending the bill to?
• GRIN - Hmmm... I think that would be a Mr. Nose Dive Flashblade.
• CALLER #8 - Thank you very much for your cooperation, the bill should reach him shortly.
• GRIN - My pleasure. And do I have another caller?

• DUKE - No, but you've got some explaining to do.
• GRIN - Thank you, Wild Wing.
• DUKE - Wild Wing told me there was some kind of emergency and that I had to come right away. What's going on?
• GRIN - Easy, my Love Line. And may I introduce my new co-host...
• DUKE - Oh, no. You're not dragging ME into this! Get your girl friend to do it.
• GRIN - Please Duke? WAIT! DON'T LEAVE!
• DUKE - Alright, alright, get off your knees! I HATE it when you beg!
• GRIN - That's better. May I introduce my co- host, Duke L'Orange!
• DUKE - Thrilled, I'm sure.
• GRIN - Back to the callers.
• CALLER #9 - Hey is this the love line?
• DUKE - Unfortuneately. What's your problem?
• CALLER #9 - My girl friend just tried to hack my head off with a large knife! What should I do?
• GRIN - Your girlfriend's name wouldn't be Cindi, would it?
• CALLER #9 - Yeah, it is, how'd you know?
• GRIN - my only advice to you is never laugh again. Next caller!
• DUKE - Y'know, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be.
• CALLER #10 - Hey, my name's Rachel, I just wanted you all to know that Duke's the cutest duck alive and I'm gonna murder his girlfriend and marry him. Kay, buh bye!
• DUKE - Once again, I spoke too soon. I'll see ya later, Grin, I'd better go warn Mara to start wearing a bullet proof vest around the base.
• GRIN - Well, bye Duke. Oh, and here come two more lovely co-hosts! Malory Mc Mallard and Tanya Vanderflock!
• MALLORY - No time to talk, Grin, Nose Dive's coming up the hall loading a bazooka! You'd better get out before he finds you here.
• GRIN - Uh oh. Well, Ladies and Gentleman, that's all for now, so until next time, GOOD BYE!
• TANYA - And one last thing for all the girls out there. Grin belongs to me, and if ANY of you try to touch him I'll find you and scratch your eyes out! Oh yeah, and have a nice day!
• NOSE DIVE - AND THIS TIME YOU'RE GONNA DIE YOU - what? No one here? DAMMIT! Missed 'em again! Oh well. That looks like all the time we have so remember everybody, love bites.