The Mighty Ducks' Love Line #5 - Valentine Special
This outta be intresting...
Hey, hey, hey, it's time to play! 555-DIVE!!!
- NOSE DIVE - Welcome all, to the Mighty Duck's Love Line! And this week's gonna be different...Grin and I have called a truce and decided to host the show TOGETHER! Right Grin?
- GRIN - That's correct, Nose Dive. Shall we go to the first caller?
- CALLER #1 - Yes, is this the Mighty Duck's hotline?
- NOSE DIVE - You betcha! Say, do I know you?
- CALLER #1 - Oh, we may have met once or twice.
- GRIN - Well? Do you have a question?
- CALLER #1 - No.
- NOSE DIVE - You don't?
- CALLER #1 - No. I'm just waiting for Seige to get a fix on your signal.
- NOSE DIVE - Very funny, Grin.
- GRIN - Uh, Dive, I'm not doing it...
- DRAGAUNUS - No, but I AM! MUHAHAHAHA!!!
- GRIN & NOSE DIVE - Ahhhh!
- DRAGAUNUS - Well, now that they're out of the way, allow me to explain.
- CHAMELEON - Oooh! Oooh! Can I do it Boss? I love this story!
- DRAGAUNUS - Oh, very well.
- CHAMELEON - Well, you see, we've been stuck on this planet for a while now, and this is the fourth Valentine's Day we've seen. For some strange reason, the Boss here always seemed to be in a bad mood every year when that day rolled around...
- WRAITH - Don't be ridiculous. Lord Dragaunus is always in a bad mood.
- CHAMELEON - Well, anyway, we never found out why until Dragaunus-
- DRAGAUNUS - ALRIGHT! Enough, you slithering worm! I'LL DO IT! You see...I'm lonely. It's a tough job trying to conquer the universe, and every year, I have to spend Valentine's Day - ALONE!!
- WRAITH - A tissue, My Lord?
- DRAGAUNUS - Yes, thank you Wraith. So you see, I have stolen this pathetic Love Line from the Ducks in order to hold my own show. I will allow callers to call me, and at the end of the show I will chose one lucky caller to rule the world with me as my QUEEN!
- CHAMELEON - I suppose that puts me outta the running then.
- DRAGAUNUS - SILENCE! LET THE CONTEST BEGIN! Welcome all you lucky listeners, to DRAGAUNUS' LOVE LINE!!!
Wow, and I thought Nose Dive was pathetic...
- WRAITH - What a ghastly way to spend an evening.
- DRAGAUNUS - SILENCE!
- WRAITH - As you wish, My Lord.
- CHAMELEON - Suck up.
- DRAGAUNUS - caller, you're on the air.
- CALLER #2 - Yah, hey there, Dragaunus! You are totally my fav character on the Mighty Ducks.
- DRAGAUNUS -Of course, but why don't you tell the audience why I'm the greatest on the show.
- CALLER #2 - Easy ! 'Cause you're SO cute! You're adorable! You remind me of a big fluffy gorilla!
- DRAGAUNUS - A WHAT?! What kind of demented human are you?!
- CALLER #2 - Wow, I think someone needs a class in anger management.
- DRAGAUNUS - I AM NOT ANGRY!!!
- CHAMELEON - Yaaaaaaaaah!
- WRAITH - Next caller?
- CALLER #3 - Hey, I just want you to know you make a great villain... you're a lizard right after my own heart, Big Boy.
- DRAGAUNUS - And you are ?
- CALLER #3 - Ursula, the sea witch.
- DRAGAUNUS - Sorry, I don't date fish.
- CALLER #3 - Damn, another plot foiled!
- DRAGAUNUS - Bah! Next caller! Well? Why am I not connecting with the next caller?! CHAMELEON!!
- WRAITH - You threw him out the window, My Lord.
- DRAGAUNUS - Ah yes, I did, didn't I? Well, on with the show
- CALLER #4 - Hey Draggy, Sweetheart, Baby! This is Phil Pomfeather, and might I say you come over wonderfully on the radio? Well, let's cut to the chase here, you've got something, some real star quality, and I think that with me as your manager, pretty soon you'd have your own show! Whaddya say?
- DRAGAUNUS - Sorry, I already have a manager...me.
- CALLER #4 - Well, in that case, is that position for Queen of the Universe still open?
Things are beginning to get frightening...
- DRAGAUNUS - Sorry, females only. NEXT CALLER!
- CALLER #5 - Yeah, my name's Mia. I just want to give a shout out to my boyfriend-
- DRAGAUNUS - Your BOYFRIEND?! What do you think this is, a love line?!
- CALLER #5 - is this a trick question?
- DRAGAUNUS - Next ca-
- CALLER #5 - Oh, PLEASE?!
- DRAGAUNUS - Very well, but make it quick.
- CALLER #5 - Hey Kevin, it's Mia, I just wanted to say Happy Valentine's Day, I LOVE YOU!!!
- DRAGAUNUS - Very well, you stupid teenage romantic, now go! Do we have another contestant?
- CALLER #6 - Ah, yes, my name is Melvin and I find myself strangely attracted to large lizards...
- DRAGAUNUS - NEXT!
- CALLER #7 - Yeah, Dragaunus, right?
- DRAGAUNUS - Yes?
- CALLER #7 - Can I talk to that little Chameleon guy? He turns me on...
- DRAGAUNUS - Oh, what's the use? I don't know what posessed me to think that these pathetic humans could possibly have any good taste? It's hopeless...
- CHAMELEON - Uh, Boss? We uh, all pitched in and got you this.
- DRAGAUNUS - What on Earth is this thing?
- WRAITH - A Valentine, my Lord.
- CHAMELEON - WE all love you Dragaunus.
- DRAGAUNUS - How sweet, how thoughtful, how utterly disturbing...this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me, and I think it's the most hideous thing I've ever seen! YES!!! All of a sudden I feel evil once more...MUHAHAHAHA! Who needs love when I have you morons to kick around? I'M CURED! Quick, back to the Raptor to form another plan to destroy those accursed ducks!
- WILD WING - We have you now, Lizard Lips...unbelievable, he got away with it!
- MALLORY - Yeah, especially with those ratings...
- NOSE DIVE - I don't believe it, I've been screwed out of my show AGAIN! Well, that's all the time we've got for tonight, so goodbye, and remember...
- GRIN & NOSE DIVE - Love bites.