Welcome back! Now go away.

Guess what that number is...you got it! 555-DIVE

• NOSE DIVE - WAR!! This means war! I'll kill Grin if he comes back! I'm prepared this time. I've got a puck launcher, hand grenades, missiles, and a baseball...what? I don't have a baseball bat...I -
• GRIN - gee, al those weapons and he didn't think to bring a helmet.
• WILD WING - That was a nice shot Grin, he's out cold. Maybe you should've gone into baseball instead of hockey...
• GRIN - nah, too violent for me.
• WILD WING - Well then, let's move on to the callers.
• CALLER #1 - Oui. Ou est la toilette?
• GRIN - Sorry, wrong country.
• WILD WING -You know, the requests just keep getting stranger and stranger.
• GRIN - You ain't seen nothing yet. Do we have a caller?
• CALLER #2 - Hi Grin. I have a small problem with my boyfriend.
• GRIN - Really? Like what?
• CALLER #2 - He won't accept me for who I am.
• GRIN - Yes, that is definitely a problem. Acceptance is very important, especially in a relationship. You see, I'M always very accepting of everybody, which is why I'm so loveable.
• WILD WING - Yeah right, Grin.
• GRIN - Moving on, why won't he accept you?
• CALLER #2 - Well, I'm a dendropheliac.
• GRIN - NEXT CALLER!!!!!
• WILD WING - So much for being accepting, right Grin?
• GRIN - Do you know what a dendropheliac IS?!
• WILD WING - Well...no, not exactly. What is it?
• GRIN - I can't say it on the air. Besides, you don't wanna know.
• WILD WING - Come on, Grin, tell me!
• GRIN - Well, alright, I'll whisper it to you...
• WILD WING - I see, I see...what? They do WHAT to trees?!!

• GRIN - See? I told you you didn't wanna know.
• WILD WING - ugh...
• GRIN - Come on, get your beak outta that paper bag. It wasn't THAT gross.
• WILD WING - You wanna bet?! I wonder what would happen if a guy tried to...oh man...ugh...
• GRIN - You baby!
• WILD WING - Hey! I can't help it if I have a delicate stomach!
• GRIN - Next caller...PLEASE?!
• CALLER #3 - I am the ghost of Christmas past...
• GRIN - Wrong T.V. show.
• CALLER #3 - Really? Are you sure?
• GRIN - Yeah, Scrooge is on Duck Tales. This is the Mighty Ducks.
• CALLER #3 - So this isn't 555 - 3484?
• GRIN - Nope. This is 555 - 3483.
• CALLER #3 - Damn. This never happens to the ghost of Christmas future. Well, terribly sorry for the inconvenience.
• GRIN - You know, we've really gotta start advertising in the yellow pages. Well, while Wild Wing's off getting some Pepto-Bismol why don't we talk to another caller?
• CALLER #4 - Grin, I really need your help. My girlfriend thinks I don't have enough culture. She's forcing me to go to an opera with her tonight.
• GRIN - Ouch. That IS harsh. So, what's your point?
• CALLER #4 - Can't you help me get out of it?
• GRIN - Did you fake sick?
• CALLER #4 - tried it.
• GRIN - Had to work overtime?
• CALLER #4 - tried it.
• GRIN - Lose the tickets?
• CALLER #4 - tried it.

• GRIN - I can only think of one other solution.
• CALLER #4 - And what's that?
• GRIN - Stage your own death. Ah, welcome back Wild Wing. Feeling better?
• WILD WING - Yeah Grin, never better, I only turn green when I'm feeling really happy...WHAT DO YOU THINK?!
• GRIN - Alright, alright, no need for sarcasm.
• WILD WING - Yeah, right. Next caller?
• CALLER #5 - Hey Grin, hi Wild Wing. I've got this problem...
• WILD WING - Go on.
• CALLER #5 - You see, I'm a necropheliac.
• WILD WING - What's that?
• GRIN - Wild Wing, drop it.
• WILD WING - No! Tell me! I want to know!
• GRIN - Forget it. You're gonna lose it again.
• WILD WING - No I won't! Dammit, tell me!
• GRIN - Fine. You asked for it. Come here.
• WILD WING - Yeah? uh huh, I get it...are you serious?! With DEAD people?! AHHHHHH!!
• GRIN - Wow, I don't think I've ever seen anyone run to the bathroom that quickly.
• TANYA - Yeah, this show just gets better and better.
• GRIN - Why hello, Babe. Come to be my co host? Be careful, I warn you, they're dropping like flies.
• TANYA - Don't worry, Grin, I think I'm a bit braver than Wild Wing.
• GRIN - Really? That good to know because it looks like Nose Dive's waking up!
• TANYA - I'm not THAT brave! That's my cue to leave. Later Grin!
• GRIN - Hey, wait up! Well, that's all folks! Good night!
• NOSE DIVE - Ohhh, my head! Someone get me some asprin! What's this? Pepto Bismol? What's that doing here?? Well, that's all the time we have so, good night everybody!! Don't forget! Love bites.