Robin Hood: Ducks in Tights

It was early in the morning when Mara woke up. Yawning, she stretched and got out of bed. She dressed quietly as to not wake up her team mates, which usually were grouchy this early in the morning, and thought about what type of Tea she wanted for breakfast. When she got to the kitchen, she noticed Duke was already there at the counter. She shook her head; he was drinking what appeared to be coffee. "Morning Duke."
"Hey Angel," he leaned over to kiss her but she stepped back.
"What kind of coffee is it today?" she asked suspiciously.
"French Vanilla," he replied.
"Again?" Duke shrugged his shoulders. Mara smiled and kissed him lightly on the cheek before putting a kettle of water on.
"I still don't understand why you drink tea..."
"And I don't understand why you drink coffee! God that stuff makes me puke!" The two laughed. Mara sat next to Duke while Duke, pretending to stretch, put his arm around Mara's shoulder. Mara smiled. "Nice try Cassanova." Yawning, Wild Wing walked in followed by the rest of the team.
"You two up early again? You beat us everytime." Mallory: What's for breakfast today? Tanya: Well, there's Cereal, Fruit Salad, Waffles, Pancakes, Yogurt, and...oh look, Easy Cheese. Nose Dive: Yummy, I'm having that! All: Eew! Grin: Is there...toast? Nose Dive: No, but there's Tombstone pizza.(IN YOUR FACE MARA!!!) Grin: Cut it out. Amber walks in wearing riding breeches, long boots, and a polo shirt. Nose Dive: (looking at Amber) I'll have cereal and Amber to go. Mallory slaps Nose Dive on the head. Amber walks towards the others. Tanya: Still in your "Riding Outfit" phase? Amber: What's wrong with breeches? Duke: Oh, I dunno. Maybe the fact that they make you look professional. Amber: But I am professional...HEY! Wild Wing: Hey Amb, what do ya want for breakfast? Amber: Pizza. She looks towards Grin. Amber: Minus the Tombstone. Wild Wing: Okay, I'll go order some...Hey!!! Pizza is not a breakfast food. Duke: Pizza...hahahahahaha!!! Every one looks at Duke, who is laughing his head off. Mara: Uh, he's going through a phase. Amber: How about Dunkin Donuts then? Tanya: Guys, take her up on the offer. This way she could actually gain weight. Mallory grabs Amber and they run out as Phil runs in. Phil: Hi Ducks. I have a deal here. All: NO!!! Phil: You'll like this one. You get to meet Mel Brooks. Duke: I'm in. Mara: Me too! Phil: GREAT! You're in a Movie! Mara and Duke: DAMN YOU MEL BROOKS! Wild Wing: I'll be in it. Every one looks towards Wild Wing. Wild Wing: What? Acting's cool. Phil: We need all of you. Nose Dive: I'll join only if Amber's in it. Phil: Okay. Mallory and Amber walk in with Donuts. Phil: Amber, we need the use of your horses. Amber: Why? Phil: You're in a movie. Amber: I Am?! Phil: Great! You agreed. Come on, lets go. Amber: But the horses? Phil: Your stable groom, Raj, is bringing them over. Amber: Awww man! That guy does too much! The ducks, and Phil, pile into the Aerowing. Amber is holding a bag of donuts. Amber: You expect me to eat ALL THIS? Mallory: Yup! Amber: I cant eat that much. Mallory: Too bad. Amber starts eating a donut. After 14 hours of Flying, Amber has eaten three donuts. Amber: I Feel like I'm fat! Nose Dive: No, you aren't. I normally eat that many donuts in 15 minutes. Mara: Is somebody a piggy? AHHHH!!! Amber shoved a donut in her mouth. The two sisters start play fighting. Wild Wing: Well, here we are. The ducks run out of the Aerowing. There is a studio in the middle of a foresty area. A man runs up to them Man: The Mighty Ducks! So glad you could make it! Amber: Oh My God! It's Mel Brooks! The King of Comedy!!! Mel Brooks: King of Comedy? King of Comedy? I like it! A plan for a new movie. Well, Ducks, let's get to casting and costuming! Wild Wing: Umm, Mel, one question. What movie are we in? Mel Brooks: Oh, the movie, it's really good. The latest Rage! And the ladies LOVE IT!!! You are in...Robin Hood: Ducks in Tights. Guys: WHAT!!! Mel Brooks: Of course, there'll be some edits. But for now, I'm choosing characters. Hmm, Robin. Well, I need some one brave, daring, dashing, and they MUST have an accent. He looks towards Duke. Mel Brooks: YOU! Duke: What? Mel Brooks: You're Robin of Loxley. Duke smiles, it's obvious he likes his part. Wild Wing looks puzzled. Wild Wing: But isn't Robin Hood brittish? With a brittish accent? Mel Brooks: Exactly! Wild Wing looks even more confused. Mel Brooks: And you are Maid Marian. Mara: Fine, but there's NO WAY you're gonna get me to do that chastity belt crap, got it? Mel Brooks: You're no fun. You, Blondie. Nose Dive: Me? Mel Brooks: Not you. Tanya! You are Broomhilde. And Nose Dive, you're Achoo. Nose Dive: Oh, bless you! Mel Brooks: No, the character Achoo. Nose Dive: Cool. Mel Brooks: Grin you are Little John and Wild Wing is Will Scarlet. Mallory: What about me? Amber: And Me. Mel Brooks: Uh, you can be the cook. Mallory: The cook? There was no cook in the movie! Mel Brooks: Well, I edited it. Work with me people! Mel Brooks: What about you, Miss? Amber: Oh, well uh, I'm the horses' trainer and owner. Mel Brooks: Don't you act? Amber: Well, I'm not that great of an actress, but I do a lot of the horse stunts. For example, I have ridden the Diving Horse. Mel Brooks: What? Amber: The horse dives 30 feet into a pool of water with me on it. Mel Brooks: You know, I've got a good part for you. Amber: Oh, I really shouldn't. I'm not a very good actress... Mel Brooks: There is always an actor inside of everything that lives. You will do mainly riding, stunts, and ahem, some romance. Amber: Whatever you say, Mr. Director! Mel Brooks: Great. You're the screaming boy, err now girl, Kit. Wild Wing: Hey, there wasn't a girl named Kit in the movie. Mel Brooks: Didn't you pay attention? We had this conversation with Mallory already. Eh, Mr. Pomfeather, You're Blinkin. Phil: I'm in your movie? Mallory:Well, looks like Phil's finally accidentally conned himself into his own money making scheme! Mel Brooks: Yup. Now every one to costuming. After costuming, the shooting starts.
In the town of Rotingham, the Sheriff's men set fire unto the village for paying taxes a day late. The town has no money. Heart's Wing: AHH! The houses are on fire! Strangedrake: Call the Fire brigade!! Men come running out carrying a cart that has water and hoses on it. It says fire department. Drake McKine: There must be another way of doing the credits! Strangedrake: That's right. Everytime they make a damn Robin Hood movie they burn our village down. Every one looks towards the camera. All: LEAVE US ALONE, MEL BROOKS!!! The rappers scene. Strangedrake, Thrash, Jared, Will, and Derrek are rapping.(badly) Strangedrake: Yo, yo, yo, Check it Out! Thrash: They were with the Sheriff, taking over da show. Jared: Raising the taxes cause they needed da dough. Will: They needed a hero, but no one could be found. Derrek: Cause Robin Hood waz outta town. Strangedrake: I said hey! All: HEY! Strangedrake: I said Hey! All: Hey! Strangedrake: I said Hey, All: Hey nonny nonny and a HERE WE GO!!! Jail Cell in Jerusulam. Guards shove Duke into a wall. Camellion: Hello and good day! I am the Maitré D'dungeon! Welcome to your...dungeon. We try to do the best for our prisoners. Duke: Great. Just like home. Camellion: So glad you like it. A guard pulls Duke down the corridor. A bunch of hands are sticking up through the grate below them. He whips the hands. When they have past all the hands come back up sticking their middle fingers up at the guard. Guard: Robin of Loxley, where is your King? Duke looked upwards, pretending to think. Duke: King? King? And which King might this be, hmm? King Richard? King Louis? King Kong? Leans towards the Guard, and continues good naturdly Duke: Larry King? Guard: Impertenant fool! You will speak! Duke: I don't think so. Guard: Fine, get the Tongue loosener. Duke: NO ONE'S MESSING WITH MY TONGUE!!! Guard: Fine. The guard looks at the other prisoners. Guard: Oh! I'm terribly sorry, but we cannot seat you without the proper attire, see? He points to some of the prisoners in torture. He leans over Duke and puts a fake beard on him. Guard: There, that's much better. They chain Duke up. Guard: And If you need anything don't hesitate to scream. Man: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Guard: Comming. You see, we're so busy these days!!! After the guard has left... Guy: You are very brave to talk back to the head Guard. Duke: Thanks. Duke pulls off the beard Guy: Is there anything you would wish to know? Duke: What are you in for? The guy looks pissed off. Guy: Jay walking. Duke: Oh, I see. He looks down at the chains. Duke: Ugh, what we need is a great feat of strength. The guy's face is puzzled. Guy: Feat of Strenth? Oh contraire. What we have here is a "Great Strenth of Feet!!!" Duke looks puzzled. Duke: Don't follow. Guy: Put your feet here. When we push down, the chains'll give and we can break out of here. Now on the count of Kick........Kick!!! They pushed down. One of the chains broke. The guard walks in and they pull it up pretending nothing happened. Guard: What was that? The Guy and Duke are acting terribly. Guy: Oh, uh that...uh, yes that. Uh, That was the sound of this poor man's heart breaking. Duke: Oh, oh yeah. Ohhh, oowwww... Guy: He has agreed to save his life by betraying his king. Duke: Oh uh, yes. Yeah that's it, oh, Damn my eyes! Guard: Wonderful. I'll get a promotion for this Guy: Now go quickly before he changes his mind. Guard: This is fabulous. I'll get brownie points. Guy: Go. Guard:Good news is always rewarded! Guy: Please go. The guard leaves. They loosen the chain. He runs back in. They pull the chains up and pretend nothing's happened. Guard: On the other hand, bad news is severely punished! The guard runs away, slamming the door. The two get free and start freeing the others. They climb out of the cells and start cheering. They are free. The guard runs back. Guard: Guys, I just told the king the great news and..and I'm in deep shit! The Guy and Duke are at the coast. Three Jockeys go racing by on camels. Another is in the back on a Hippo. Guy: I have to thank you. Duke: No prob. Without your thinking we would still be in that jail cell. Is there anything I can do to repay you? Guy: Well, I guess. By the way, my name is Asneeze and I wanted to know if you could look after my boy, Achoo. Duke: Bless you! Asneeze: No, that is my son. His name is Ahchoo. Here's a picture of him. He's a bit head strong and cock sure...or is it the other way around? Duke: Not to worry, Asneeze. Well, I shall go to England, Asneez is looking worried and is trying to cut Duke's speech off. Duke: ...seek my home and family, tell them of my adventures, go off and... Asneeze: If you do not hurry, you will miss the current. Duke: Well, Goodbye then! He starts off into the water. They show a map of his swim to England. When he gets there, there is a Hollywood type sign that says, "England". Duke: Home, home, England. OH! He starts kissing the ground but then spits out the sand. Duke: A horse, a horse, my Kingdom for a Horse! Duke gets on Amber's Andulusion horse, Tornado (so what If I stole this from Zorro!!! And it's not like you needed to know that) that has a sign which reads, "Rent a Wreck" (I should have changed that but it was too funny). All of a sudden, he see's these men beating up a duck with blond hair. He dismounts and takes out the picture. Looking hard towards the duck, he steps forward. Duke: Achoo? The guards stop beating up the guy for a moment to answer. Guards: Bless you. They go back to beating him up. Duke: That's him. Nose Dive isn't in the camera's view. Nose Dive: DAMN! Mel better put me in the video for this! Duke jumps out and starts fighting the guards. The guy runs to Duke. Duke: Watch my back. Nose Dive leans over and watches a man punch Duke twice. Duke throws him over his shoulder. Nose Dive: Your back just got punched twice. Duke: (sarcastically) Thanks for noticing. The guards are picking themselves off the ground. Nose Dive and Duke stand back to back. Nose Dive looks towards the guards as they run up. Nose Dive: Time out! Excuse me bad guys, but I am running out of air. Nose Dive starts squezing the tongue on his Pump sneakers. Nose Dive: Okay honkies, time in. Duke: (whispering) By the by, do you know Praying Mantis? Nose Dive: You're looking at him. Both: Hiiiiyyaaaaa!!! They start doing all sorts of fake karate moves and sounds. Suprisingly, they beat the shit out of the guards. The guards start running. One stops. Baron Von Litchenstamp: You haven't seen the last of us! Duke takes out several arrows and his bow. He fires them. They pin the man to a tree. Baron Von Litchenstamp: (with a feared smile and laugh) Correction, you've seen the last of us. Duke and Nose Dive mount Tornado and head out for Robin's home. As they get there, it starts moving. It is on wheels pulled by the Budweiser Clydesdales. Duke gasps and they dismount. Tax Collector: Let's go boys! Move it! Duke: STOP!!! This is my home. Mover: Not anymore. Since you didn't pay your taxes, this land's ours now. They move the castle away. Tornado starts running away. Nose Dive: I'll get the horse, Robin. Nose Dive runs off as Duke looks up. He sees Phil is sitting down with shades on and holding up a book upsidedown. It's the braille Play Boy magazine. Duke: Blinkin! Phil: What? Hold on a second. Duke: Blinkin, it's me. Phil: Master Robin? Duke: Yes. Phil: Back from the crusades? Duke: Yes! Phil: And Alive? Duke: (Irritated) YES!!! Phil: Oh, Happy Day. He runs out. The only thing left from the castle is a statue of a girl with no arms. Robin is right next to it. Phil accidently bumps into the statue. Phil: Hey, wasn't there a door there? Oh no, Master Robin! You've lost both your arms in battle! Oh how terrible...but you've grown some nice boobs. Duke: (irritated) Blinkin, I'm over here. Phil: Oh, there you are! He hugs Duke. Duke gasps for breath. Phil: Oh, it's so happy that you're back here after your father died and... Duke: (shocked) My fathers dead? Phil: Why yes. Didn't you know...oh that's right. You were in the Crusades. Duke: (nervous) My Mother? Phil: Heart attack. Duke: My brothers? Phil: Died of the plague. Duke: My sister? Phil: Killed in a drive-by shooting of arrows. Duke: (very upset) My doggie, Pongo? Phil: Run over by a carridge. Duke: (Even more upset) My goldfish, Goldie? Phil: Eaten by the cat. Duke: My cat? Phil: Choked on the goldfish. Duke looks like he's about to cry. Since Blinkin is blind, he hugs him. Phil: Isn't it great to be back home? Oh, uh, by the way Master Robin, you're father told me to give this to you. He holds up an amulet type box on a rope. Phil: He said, "It's the key to the greatest treasure in all the land". Can I keep it? Duke: Uh, no Blinkin. I'd better honor my Dad's wishes. Phil: Okay. He tries to put it around Duke's neck but puts it on Duke's arm. Duke puts it around his neck. Nose Dive comes back with the horse. Duke: Blinkin, I'd like you to meet Achoo. Phil: A Jew? Here? (yeah, I know, mean joke, but if you don't like it talk to Mel Brooks Nose Dive: No, not A Jew. Achoo. That's my name, Man Phil: Pleasure to meet you. Duke: Well, come on. We best be on our way. Nose Dive: Uh, problem. This horse can hold two civillians MAX. Duke: Watch and learn. Blinkin, hold on to this and come on. The horse is wild. Phil: Achoo is a horse? Nose Dive: No, I'm a duck. Phil: Oh, you have a horse. No way am I getting on a horse! Duke: (Whispering to Nose Dive as he is about to mount) Probably couldn't hold 'em anyway. Wait, what the hell is that? Screams of a girl are heard. Amber comes running out wearing ripped clothes. Nose Dive: Looks like a flying whore! (HAHAHA! In-Joke to Dave Chapelle and Mara) Nose Dive: Err, take off the whore part. Duke and Nose Dive dismount. The girl stops infront of them and screams. Duke: What's wrong? Amber: They're after me. Nose Dive: Who, girly-girl? Amber:(angrily) who the hell are you calling a "girly-girl"? Nose Dive:(nervously) Uh, no one. The sound of kazoos is playing. It is Falcone and a bunch of guards(playing kazoos) galloping towards the group. Amber stands behind Duke and Nose Dive. She is obviously scared. Falcone: Over that boy hand. (Every one looks puzzled) I mean, hand over that boy. Amber: Hey, I'm a girl! Falcone: Oh, I'll be damned! So you Are! Nose Dive: Why do you want her? Falcone: Ha, She deered to kill a King's dare. I mean, she Dared to kill a King's deer. Phil: And what's the punishment? Falcone: Why, death of course. Where have you been? Duke: Fighting with King Richard in the Crusades. Unfortunately, my father couldn't get me into the Royal Guard. Every one starts laughing. Falcone: And WHO are You? Duke: I am Robin of Loxley. Falcone: Oh, you. I heard you were good with a sword. Let's find out! He meant to pull out his sword but accidently pulled the top off of the sword. Duke walked up to him and cut part of the girth on the horse's saddle. The saddle swung upsidedown. Falcone is still in the saddle. Every one laughs. Falcone: How dare you do this to me. The Sheriff of Rotingham. Now I am really pissed off. Nose Dive: Hey, I'd worry about getting pissed on if I were that close to a horses weiner. Every one burst out laughing. Falcone: I'll get you, Robin. Men, kill him! Duke put his sword to Falcone's throat. Falcone: Wait, I uh, changed my mind. Duke: Good choice. Now you best be on your way. He turned the horse around and hit the horse. It took off galloping with the Sheriff's head hitting the ground. The men were galloping off after him playing their kazoos. Duke: Mind the large rocks! Every burst out laughing. Amber ran around and hugged all the guys. Amber: I thank you, sir, for saving me life. Duke: no problem. What's your name? Amber: Most people call me Kit. But anyways, I'll go to the villagers and tell them that there is one good man who can stand up to Rottingham! Duke: Okay, and tell them that I'm gonna kick his ass if I ever see him picking on anyone again, and I also will fight the evil, take down the Sheriff of Rotingham, Amber starts leaning back and forth nervously, and sways even more as Duke continues. Duke: protect the forest, get people to not litter, recycle, help... Amber: Uh, yes, yes, good, good. Well, uh, I best be going now, it's getting dark, uhhh, I have to go home alone, bye. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! She screams and then starts running away. Duke: What a weird girl. At the castle, there's some one singing...underwater?? Lady:Where is the one that I love most of all, when will I hear him call- Tanya:MARIAN!!!! Mara's head pops up from the pool. She's in scuba gear. Mara: yes, Broomhilde? Don't you know how hard it is to sing under water? Tanya: You're scuba lesson's over. Now GET OUTTA THERE BEFORE YOU CATCH COLD! Mara:(smiling good naturedly) alright Broomhilde. She steps out of the pool in full scuba gear. Mara:(glaring at the camera) What are you looking at? It was either this or the chastity belt in the bubblebath! Mara walks through one door and instantly comes out the other in a long robe. Tanya:I love movie magic. A bluebird lands on the window sill. Mara: Hey, look, a blue bird! Mallory: (offscreen) BLUE BIRD?! Where?!! Mallory runs on wearing a chef's hat and swinging a butcher knife. She lunges at the blue bird. Mallory:DIE!!!! The bird flies away in terror . Mallory:(angrily) Damn! There goes dinner. Mara: and my wish Amber pokes her head in. Amber: did someone say "wish"??? Mallory: Ewwww! Get outta here you smelly dirty stable girl! Amber glares at her and hugs her. Mallory runs away in disgust to shower. Mara:(smiling) Hello Kit. Been keeping out of trouble? Amber:(nervously) Oh, you might say that. So, what were you gonna wish for? Mara: (shrugging) Oh, to meet the man of my dreams and fall in love with him. Or maybe to get the key to that soda machine in the right wing of the castle... Amber:Cool. I'd wish for a horse. Tanya: Kit, you're the stable girl, you've got tons of horses! Amber: Oh my God! My wish came true!! Back in the main hall of the castle Falcone walks in to talk to Lord Dragaunus. Falcone: Prince John! I must speak with you! Dragaunus: Everybody out! He turns and smiles at Lucretia DeCoy Dragaunus: We'll talk later. Lucretia smiles and leaves (ugh! boy did I just get a bad picture in my head!) Falcone: I bring news. Dragaunus:Good or bad? Falcone:Bad. Dragaunus: Damn! Well, try and tell me the bad news in a good way. Falcone: (confused) Uh, okay, here goes- (he begins to laugh) I just met Robin of Loxley back from the Crusades HAHAHA!!!! He beat the shit outta me and my men! HAHAHA!!! He made us look like morons! HA! He hates you and wants to see you hanged! Falcone is laughing hysterically. Dragaunus: Are you nuts?! Falcone:(sobering up) Well, you told me to soften the blow Dragaunus:You blew it. What to do... GOT IT! Portapotty! The witch in the tower that predicts my future! She can help! Dragaunus runs upstairs and comes face to face with chameleon wearing a purple wig. Dragaunus:Portapotty! Portapotty I must speak with you! I- AHHHHHH!!!! oh, it's you. Chameleon: I'm flattered. don't tell me, I know why you're here, you wanna get rid of Robin of Loxley. Dragaunus: Exactly! How did you know that? Chameleon: I read the script. He holds up the script Dragaunus: Lemme see that! Chameleon: Nothing doing, but I'll help you if you do me a favor. Put in a good word for me with the sheriff. I've got the hots for him. (I KNEW Chameleon was fruity!) Dragaunus: maybe if we get him drunk... In Marian's room- Mara-Alright, I'm dressed for the party Mallory walks out in a VERY tight dress. Mallory: So am I. I wonder if any hot guys are coming... Mara: I doubt it. Mara sees Amber from outside her window. She's the horse valet for the party. Mara: Hey Kit! Come up here! Amber: But the horses... oh, okay. She climbs up through the window. Mara: well, I didn't mean that way... Kit, would you like to come to the party with us? I've got a dress that's tailored to just your size Amber: I dunno... Mara: it'll be fun Amber: if I get caught... Mara:(comfortingly) you won't, I promise. Amber: Well, fine. Robin, Achoo, and Blinkin get to a bridge. A very, VERY big guy is standing there in the way. Beneath the bridge is water that is a few inches deep. Duke dismounts and walks up the bridge to the guy. Duke: I say, would you mind getting out of the way? Grin: You have to pay the toll first. Duke: Toll? I 'm not payin a toll!! This is MY own land. Err, well, it WAS my land. Grin: Hey, you're Robin of Loxley! How'd ya do? My friends call me Little John. But don't let my name fool you. In real life I'm a very big guy. Duke: I'll take your word for it. Now let me pass. Grin: I'm sorry Robin. But a toll is a toll, And a roll is a roll. And if we don't get no rolls, then we don't eat no rolls. I made that up myself. Duke:(impatiently) Yeah, that's very nice. Well then, I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you. Grin: My pleasure. WILL!!! Wild Wing runs out and throws Duke and Grin 2 long sticks. Grin puts it behind his neck and stretches, flexing his muscles. The two were about to fight when Nose Dive ran up. Nose Dive: Hold up a second. Robin, you don't have to do this. This isn't exactly the Mississippi. Look. I'm on one side, He jumps from one side to the other. Nose Dive: I'm on the other side. I'm on the east bank, I'm on the west bank, and as a matter of fact, He stands with one leg on each side. Nose Dive: They Crittical!(whatever THAT means) Duke: Achoo, It's the principle of the thing. Grin nods his head. Nose Dive: Nice knowing ya. The two held up their sticks in a fighting stance. They started fighting when their sticks broke in-half. They continued fighting when it broke again, they threw the end over the side of the bridge. They started fighting again, but it broke again. The sticks were now about 6 inches long. Grin scratched his ear (what ear?) with it first. They held up their sticks in a fighting stance. Duke hit Grin's hand with it. Grin: Owww! He hit Grin on the Other hand Grin: Owww! He looked like he was about to hit Grin. Grin lifted the stick above his head looking as if he said, "Got you." Duke smacked Grin on the head and Grin fell into the water. The water is 3 inches deep. Duke starts laughing. Duke: Hahaha! Grin: AHHH!!! HELP ME!!! I CANT SWIM!!! Duke gets an odd look on his face. Grin: I'm Drowning!!! HELP ME!!!!! Duke jumps off of the bridge and pulls Grin up. Grin hugs Duke, suffocatingly tight. Grin: Oh Thank You!!! You saved me life. (Duke taps Grin's arm) What? Duke: (Gasping) Air! Grin: Oh God, I'm Sorry! (He lets go of Duke) Duke: That's quite alright. I'd like you to meet my good friend, Achoo. Grin: Bless you. Nose Dive: Uh, that's my name, Achoo. Grin:This is my best friend, Will Scarlet Wild Wing: My full name's Will Scarlet O'Hara. Grin: He's deadly with his daggers! Wing: I'll show you! Fire an arrow in my eye Duke: You gotta be kidding me Wing: just do it Duke : alright, goodbye He fires and Will cuts the arrow to shreds in midair. Nose Dive: What part of Georgia are you from?! Will smiles and accidentally cuts his belt off, causing his pants to fall down. His boxers had hockey pucks on them (Wing fans:I know it's mean, but wouldn't you rather see him with boxers on than nothing? That is, unless you're a REALLY big fan...) Grin: Sorry about the toll thing guys, it's Prince John!He's taxing us to death! Duke:I'm gonna crash their party tonight and make a bit of trouble for the Prince. Grin: great! We'll come too! Duke: no, I can't risk your lives too. One can get in more easily than 5. Robin runs up to jump on his horse from behind and misses. Achoo: Damn, Brooklyn ducks can't jump! At the castle party, Dragaunus and Falcone are watching a really sucky mime. They roll their eyes at each other. Falcone:Kill him! The guards begin to take the mime away, but Dragaunus stops them. Dragaunus: No, wait, a mime is a terrible thing to waste. (I know it's a weak ass joke, but I just HAD to keep it in!) Falcone: All right, let him go. Tanya, Amber, Mallory and Mara walk into the room. Amber: (whispering nervously to Mara) Marian, I can't do this! Mara: (whispering back) take it easy, Kit. Just follow our lead and you'll be fine. Falcone begins to walk up to the ladies. Mara:(rolling her eyes) Oh shit! Not him! Falcone: Ah, Maid Marian, you look ravishing my dear. Mara: (politely) Thank you, Sheriff. Falcone: (looking at Kit) Is this a new friend of yours? Amber hides behind Mara. Mara: Why yes, Sheriff, this is my friend Kitrina. Amber: (quietly) uh, hi. Falcone: (turning back to Mara) May I show you to your seat? Mara: (angrily) No- (Broomhilde elbows her) Mara:(politely) Why yes, thank you. Falcone helps Mara to her seat. As she sits Falcone kisses her hand. Mara snatches her hand away from Falcone angrily. Falcone:The king's spared no expense for this party. He has exotic foods from across the seas, like bananas, coconuts, and dates... would you care for a date? Mara: Why yes, thank you- Falcone: (cutting her off) How about next Thursday? Falcone laughs at his own joke. Mara looks like she's about to punch him when Duke kicks open the doors (hitting the two guards that were standing behind the doors at the time) Duke: Good evening. Falcone: (to Dragaunus) That's him! THAT'S Loxley! Mara smiles, staring at Duke as he walks up to the king. Amber:Oh shit! If he recognizes me I'm dead! Amber dives under the table. Dragaunus: (nervously) So you're Robin of Loxley? Duke bows. Duke: Prince John, right? Dragaunus nods. Duke: I thought so, since I didn't see any other snakes in the room. (the crowd gasps) Dragaunus: Funny, very amusing, Robin. Mara: I've heard a lot about you. Duke turns, seeing Mara. He sits on the table in front of her. Duke: And you are? Mara: Maid Marian. Duke smiles and takes her hand. Duke:Ah, Maid Marian, rumors of your beauty spread far and wide, yet I see they hardly do you justice. Mara smiles dreamily, allowing him to kiss her hand repeatedly. Mara: Charmed. Falcone's watching this, and getting pretty jealous. Falcone: ENOUGH!! How dare you speak to the king in such a fasion! Duke: (looking around) King? I see no king. Only a cowardly serpent wearing a king's crown. The audience gasps again. Falcone: (to the audience) Yeah, we get the point! You can stop with the gasps! Dragaunus: Careful Robin, you go to far... Duke: I'm just starting. I've come to warn you that if you don't get rid of the taxes then the people of England are gonna get rid of YOU! Dragaunus:And why should the people listen to you? Duke: (pauses and glares at the camera) Well, I know it ain't the accent! Falcone jumps up. Falcone: Worry not your majesty, I'll dispose of this feathered upstart!

Okay Hommie's, time's out!!! Gotta Get PUMPED!

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