A Kidnapping.
"That's it my little fish friends, dance for me! DAAANCE!! You too Nathan...I see you back there, now don't be shy, DANCE MY MINIONS OF FISHY DOOM!"
The Mighty Ducks all walked into the Ready Room deep in conversation when Wild Wing halted abruptly, his eyes going wide in horror. After a moment of silence he bellowed, "NOSE DIVE!!!!!!" Nose Dive wheeled around and looked at his teammates through his giant plastic green tinted sunglasses.
"Oh...you guys are back early. How was the grocery store?"
"NOSE DIVE!!!" Wing yelled again, "What the hell are you doing?!?!" The Drake 1 console, chairs and entire surrounding area were all covered in partially thawed out fishsticks. Nose Dive hopped off of the computer and folded his arms in annoyance.
"Well there's no need to get an attitude big bro, I'm just shooting a brilliant new blockbuster hit movie, that's all. I figured it was obvious." he answered huffily. They all gawked at him in amazement.
Finally quietly Tanya said, "But uh, N-nose Dive...there's uh, there's n-no camera."
Dive took off his sunglasses, "Man...I knew I forgot something."
Still in disbelief Wild Wing looked about him, "You mean THAT is why you needed more fishsticks, Nose Dive?!"
"Well of course! I mean look around!" He waved a hand about, "I don't have NEARLY enough for this scene!"
Wild Wing turned to Mallory beside him and held up his hand, "I think I'm having a stroke, which arm is it that goes numb when you're having a stroke? Take my pulse."
"That's not a stroke Wing, it's a heart attack." Duke said calmly, patting Wing's shoulder.
"I...I think I need to lie down, maybe take a nice hot bath..." Wild Wing murmured feebly. As Mallory and Grin began to help him out of the room Nose Dive grinned with the triumph of not getting punished for once. "AND YOU ARE GOING TO CLEAN EVERY LAST INCH OF THIS ROOM, DO YOU HEAR ME?!"
"But..." Nose Dive stammered, "But I used all of the Mop N' Glo in the 'great fish stick reawakening bathtub love fest' scene!"
"TOO DAMN BAD! GO OUT AND BUY SOME MORE, SPIELBERG!" Wing paused at the door, "Wait a sec...whose bathtub did you use for your Mop N' Glo scene?"
Nose Dive coughed awkwardly, "Well uh, your bathroom was the closest and I uh, I really meant to clean it up before you guys..."
Wild Wing groaned, "Oh god, why did I ask, just go!!!" As he left the remaining ducks all shook their heads.
"Ya really outdid yourself this time, ya runt..." Duke chuckled, marvelling at the mess, "Even I'm horrified."
"Well you've got no reason to be! I'll have you know it's not a horror flick. It's a love story." Nose Dive grumbled indignantly.
Mara Jade stepped over some of the carnage to clear away a few fishsticks from the keyboard, "And which one of these is your leading fishstick?"
"I'm the lead...and I fall for a gorgeous half duck half fish creature that I create myself in my own evil science laboratory."
"He must be the creative writing talent too." Tanya interrupted him, jerking her thumb at Nose Dive.
Nose Dive went on pointing at the one Mara was holding, "Oh, but that's the supporting lead you just took a bite out of."
Mara made a disgusted face, dropping the fishstick, "Ugh...it's cold...my own fault for being curious." Amber peered quizzically at Drake 1, leaping back as an alarm suddenly went off.
"What is it?" Duke asked, concerned.
Amber peered at the screen, "It's uh...Code 347.5...What the hell does that mean?"
"Look it up in the hand book." suggested Tanya. Amber pulled out the hand book and flipped around for a moment. "Here we go...Code 347 and a half...it says: Fishstick jammed in disc drive." She quickly opened up the disc drive and pulled out a badly maimed fishstick. "Yup, there it is!" she asserted with a cheerful nod.
"Gladys!" Dive exclaimed, "What were you doing in there?!"
Duke turned back to Tanya, "You actually had a code for that?!"
"Well we used it, didn't we?" Tanya countered. Duke just shook his head, totally speechless. Just then Tanya's communicator blared at her.
She opened it up and tentatively said, "Duh...hello?"
Wild Wing's weary voice responded, "What was that alarm all about?"
"I uh, I don't think you wanna know."
"Oh god...Wing groaned, ending the transmission. Tanya clicked off her comm and looked back at Dive.
"I-if I were you D-d-dive, I'd go before he musters the strength to get outta his room."
Nose Dive winced a little and nodded eagerly, "Not a bad idea...back in a few, Dudes!"
As he walked to the elevator Mara smiled at Tanya, "So that was Code 347.5... What's Code 348?"
Amber flipped to the next page of the handbook and responded to her sister, "A flounder."
"I shouldn't have asked."
........................
"She wore an...itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini that she wore for the first time today, ALL TOGETHER NOW! She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny..." Nose Dive strolled down the road dancing and singing. Abruptly he paused at an intersection and tentatively looked in both directions. He was suddenly presented with a difficult choice: to the left about five blocks was the grocery store, to the right immediately beside him was the Anahiem Mall and more specifically Cap'n Comics. "Hum...responsibility and maturity...or comics...tough choice." With a grin he swung to the right and did the electric slide all the way to his comic store. As he waltzed in Dive hailed his friends Thrash and Mook with the words, "Hey dudes! Got any Mop N' Glo around here?" He paused and looked about him, sensing something slightly odd: the shop was completely deserted. "Uhm...guys? Hellooo? Anyone?" He heard a rustling and hurried whispering from behind the counter. "Mookie, gurl, is that you?"
Hesitantly a gruff, deep gravelly voice responded, "Why, uh, why yes, it is. Hello...duck."
Nose Dive screwed up his beak, "Are you feeling alright? You sound..."
"What? I sound what?" The voice demanded, squeaking a bit as it went up an octave.
"Well...you sound kinda like a Saurian doing a really lame impression of a chick." Nose Dive paused for a moment, deep in thought. "Oh shit." Seige leapt from behind the counter and pinned Nose Dive to the floor before he could reach his comm. "Come on man, let me go, my gun's digging into my hip over here!" whined Dive.
"I didn't sound that bad, did I?" Seige asked Chameleon.
Chameleon emerged from behind the counter and morphed into Katherine Hepburn, "Let's face it Darling, you simply haven't got a woman's touch."
Seige pouted for a moment before hauling Dive to his feet, "Well, forget it. We've got him, now let's get out of here!" Chameleon grabbed hold of Dive's feet and together they carried him squirming and struggling to the doorway.
"What the hell are you doing? I thought you lounge lizards always teleported your scaly butts around." Nose Dive inquired.
Seige grumbled, "Oh yeah, so all your little ducky friends would know we were coming. Yeah right."
Nose Dive squirmed even harder, "Alright, point taken, element of surprise and all that...but how the hell are you planning on getting me to your base?"
"Same way we got here." Seige responded.
Once outside Chameleon stuck his arm out, "Yo taxi!!" Dive was totally baffled.
"Now who in all of Anahiem would give you assholes a ride?!" A taxi pulled up just then and Nose Dive was promptly tossed in back between his two captors. By the time he had regained his bearings the taxi had already started rolling again. He peered over the glass at the driver. Wraith looked back at him briefly before turning his eyes back to the road and stepping even harder on the gas.
"Buckle your safety belts, please."
"Yeah, okay, he'd probably give you assholes a ride." Nose Dive muttered anxiously. "Oh man...now how the hell am I gonna explain this to Wing?!"
........................
Nose Dive was roughly thrown to the floor at Dragaunus' feet.
"Oooh..." he groaned, "my car keys."
"Welcome." Dragaunus said with a smug grin. Two hunter drones hauled him to his feet. "Please, make yourself at home."
Nose Dive looked around, "Awesome...do you guys get cable?"
Dragaunus stared at him coldly, "Very funny. We'll see if you're in the mood for jokes once we've...questioned you."
"You mean like that game?"
"Game?" Dragaunus asked.
"Yeah, you know, Twenty Questions. I'll go first: okayyy...animal, vegetable or mineral?" Dragaunus growled menacingly. "Okay, animal. Second question-"
"Enough! Show this idiot to his cell!" hissed Dragaunus, stalking off.
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