This is my theory on life: Is it better to live your life in agony striving to meet an unattainable goal, or to live freely without binding rules of how to exist? Who says you have to get a job, marry, and reproduce to be happy? Don't those frisbee- throwing hippies look happy? What is their secret? They live in a drug induced state of bliss! Now look at corporate executives. Isn't that what you're supposed to strive for? Why? They always look frantic and unhappy. Is it because you want money and the lovely things it can buy? There are other ways to make a great deal of cash, by doing things virtually everyone likes! Here is how.


VampySita: yes, well, I think my stress over this is related to my stress over college. it just keeps piling up!
EvilNyquil: Drop out and become a junkie.
VampySita: I would be thin then
EvilNyquil: see. It would solve all your problems
VampySita: I could do speed and lose like 40 pounds
EvilNyquil: No more prom, college, or weight worries. You'd just be happy! And as long as you only use it in moderation you can afford it just by getting a cheap job at the mall
EvilNyquil: You could get extra cash by pickpocketing on the side.
VampySita: or I could become a cheap slut and earn cash _______<--***I'd like to point out here that one should NEVER become a cheap slut. Charge as much as you can.***
EvilNyquil: yep
EvilNyquil: You'd get sex, money, AND drugs!
EvilNyquil: You are a genius. I am humbled.
VampySita: now I have my life planned out.
EvilNyquil: there you go. Career and Life Planning service. free of charge.
EvilNyquil: Tell your parents. They'll be so proud
VampySita: oh yeah
EvilNyquil: You know that commercial that says, "No one ever says, 'I want to be a junkie when I grow up'"?
EvilNyquil: You could be the FIRST. An original. Your future planned, happy, and groundbreaking.

As you can see, the ultimate career is prostitution or drug dealing. Sex is highly pleasurable, as are drugs. Would people take drugs if they made you feel lousy? Duh. Of course not. The drugs make you feel wonderful. It is only coming off of them that can cause pain. So we must ask why people who use drugs allow themselves to come off of them. Because they can't afford to be high all the time! They would need a high paying job, such as prostitution. Aha. You can do both!If you believe, you can achieve.

Potential drug dealers may submit samples to my address for quality assurance.
Male prostitutes may apply in person.