If you have any jokes to be put up on my web
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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window.
The sign said "WHERE AM I ?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window.
Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.'
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determine the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
A boy come home from skool with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' level"
Teacher: "Spell 'WATER',"
Girl: "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "That doesn't spell 'WATER',"
Girl: "Yes, it does-it's all the letters from 'H to O'."
Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such master pieces?"
College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B."
"Mum, teacher was asking me today if i have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school."
"That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when u told her u are the only child?"
She just said, "Thank goodness!"
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
Teacher: "Chong, u missed skool last Friday."
Chong: "You're wrong, Sir."
Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"
Chong: "I was absent, yes but i certainly didn't miss it!"
A skool girl was having an eye test. "Can u read out the letters on the chart on the wall?" asked the optician.
"What chart?" asked the girl.
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.
''unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle.
NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands?
SAGE: Clever men don't BECOME husbands!
When met by a long procession of people led by a man with a dog,
Joe asked the man, "Who died?"
"My Mother in law."
"How?"
"The dog bit her."
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.
WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie.
HUSBAND: Which is this?
This guy goes to a party without his wife. He hears this other guy say to his wife "Pass the sugar, Honey." and "Pass the honey, Sugar." He thinks this sort of speech is a good idea. So, the morning when he and his wife are eating breakfast he says to his wife, "Pass the bacon, Pig."
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked, " Why are you crying?" The first one replied, " I came here for blood test." Second one asked, "So? Why are you crying? Are you afraid?" First one replied, "No. Not that. During the blood test they cut my finger." hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked the other, " Why are you crying?" Then the other one replied, "I have come for my urine test."
If you have any jokes to be put up on my web site , please
mail them to
