~The following writing is completely true. It is a personal narrative
that covers many years of my life. It was written as a class assignment
my junior year in high school, then revised my senior year.~
~Krista Michelle
You can often hear people speak of the value of friendship, but what about
it is so valuable? Is it the ability to confide in someone else? The
ability to share good and bad times with another person? Or does it go
deeper than this? Can a friend actually change who you are? Perhaps a
friend can shape your personality more than you know. Perhaps a friend
actually defines who you are. Would I be Krista, if not for my friends
over the years?
My earliest memory of a friend was when I lived in Ledbetter. Across the street lived three girls, close sisters, the youngest of which was at least four to five years older than I. I remember playing with them almost everyday, catching frogs, climbing on my swingset, or making necklaces our of flowers. I can recall being completely and utterly confused one afternoon as I watched them go home. Their father was screaming loudly at them for taking too long to come home. I didn't understand; why was he so mean to them? He was an evil looking man with a beer belly, tattoos down both arms, and a cigarette constantly hanging out of his mouth. He would make them do everything from mowing the yard to cleaning the house, while he sat back and drank. He would often shriek at them when they weren't doing things up to his expectations. I can still remember the looks on my friends' faces after their father had yelled at them. They would tell me about how mean he was to them, about how he would constantly belittle them and their mother. I was scared of this man. The sound of his angry voice would make me run and hide. I knew that if he could be that mean to his own children, he could be much worse to me if he had the chance. Luckily, for me, he never did have that chance.
I unknowingly learned from my friends to fear grown men. Even after I had moved away and left my friends behind, the effect of the fear I had felt toward the three girls' father stayed with me. My friends had changed me. They had shown me that there was a darker side to men. They had introduced a fear that I would always have, though it would diminish over the years.
After I moved away from Ledbetter, I went to Lone Oak for first and second grade. When third grade approached, I moved to Reidland. This is where I met Patricia Estes. We were best friends at first sight. In my mind there were no friends that were closer than Patricia and I. Perhaps that was because we were younger then; it iwas much easier to divulge all my secrets when I was eight to twelve years old. We made so many wonderful memories together. We were able to share the things we loved the most, because we shared a love for these things.
I can still remember how it felt to go hiking behind her house and play in the rocky creeks. I can still hear the meow of her many cats and the splash of water in my pool as we swam in the bright summer sun. I am sure now that Patricia has no idea how much she changed who I am. She was a person I could put my trust in. She made me strive to be a better student, because she was a good student. Patricia tried to make me more independent, more outgoing, and more involved. She was a rock I could cling to when I needed it.
I remember one particular instance with Patricia that changed a big part of my life and who I am. In middle school my clothes were fairly simple, a t-shirt and jeans usually. Most days I dressed simply for comfort, never much considering fashion or what looked best on my form. During seventh grade, in-between classes, as I walked down the hall, she said playfully, "Krista! What's up T-shirt Queen? What's goin on?" Even though she did not mean anything by it, this one small comment changed how I dressed completely even to this day. I now try to wear clothes that accent my features and form. I try to, when possible, wear trendy clothes or whatever happens to be in style. Most of all, I try to not wear many t-shirts. Without these clothes I feel as if I am less than other students.
Patricia and I slowly drifted apart in seventh grade; we were too different by then. We had begun to take different paths in life. I began to become more artsy and studious, while Patricia became more popular and trendy. We often talked about how we wished we could have the friendship we used to, but we both knew in our hearts that it wasn't possible. The only things we had in common by then were the memories of our childhood days together.
After Patricia and I had drifted apart, I made a friend that I would have until my senior year of high school. Jessica Nichols and I had gone to school together ever since I had moved to Reidland. I had never liked her and usually talked bad about her. I cannot remember why. Then one day in seventh grade we had to choose partners for a class project. The partner I usually picked, Charleesa, was absent that day, so I had to be paired with Jessica. The assignment took days, and over the course of those days we found that we had a great deal of fun together. That summer, Jessica would become the friend who would shape and change my life the most.
Jessica was an outgoing and hot-tempered person, the exact opposite of who I was. I was shy and a pushover, not one to speak up or be the center of attention. How we were such good friends, being total opposites, even I cannot fully explain. I suppose that we balanced each other. When she became too angry, I would remind her to calm down. When I was being too meek, she would remind me to stand up for myself. We learned to be different but also to help each other in life. When we worked together, the two of us were an unstoppable team. I had book smarts and was sensible; she was outgoing and street smart. Every moment together, we learned something from each other. Every second was a new lesson or tidbit of information that we grew and changed with.
Jessica and I were best friends for five years. By the end of our friendship, as with Patricia, we had both become completely different people than when we first realized we could stand each other. Thanks to her I am not nearly as shy as I once was, and thanks to me she sometimes tries to control her temper. By my senior year of high school, our friendship began to fizzle. Though I wanted to continue being friends with her, I did not like the path she was beginning to take in life. She was smoking, drinking, and hanging out with the wrong crowd. I wanted no part of her lying and wrongdoings, so we simply didn't speak anymore. I will always miss our friendship very much, and I will always wish her the best in life.
During my freshman year of high school I acquired a best friend that I have even to this day. Sara Stratton and I were brought together while trying to endure the horrors of marching band. We have experienced rough times, both as friends and in our seperate lives. We have fought and cried, and do so even to this day. She has shown me just how hard it can be to deal with problems in your life. She has had severe domestic problems, but I am proud to say, she has overcome them. She is stubborn and proud and will not let anyone tell her what she cannot accomplish. She has shown me true human grit as no one else can. If anyone can survive the slings and arrows or life, it is Sara. Through her help and example I have been able to endure great challenges in my life. No matter what the future holds after graduation, I will always owe a part of my strength to Sara.
My friendships have changed me so much in my life that I have come to value them above most everything else. Friends should always share your values and morals, but not necessarily your characteristics. Differences are an advantage to the friendship.
So the question is: would I be the same person if I had never met the three girls in Ledbetter, Patricia in third grade, Jessica in a boring class, or Sara in marching band? I know for a fact I wouldn't be. I would not have the fear of grown men; I would still dress in a t-shirt and blue jeans constantly; I would be a shy, meek person; and I would not be strong at heart. I would not be the Krista I am today.
However, is this the only factor that contributes to who I am? No, it is merely one portion of the events that influences and defines me. I make decisions in my life that decide what road I will travel, because this is what ultimately determines who I am. God chooses what events happen in my life. He not only made me, but He helps decide who I am and who I will become too. The ultimate decision is mine, however. I am the final judgement on what traits of my personality I will keep or change. I have decided that I do not want to have a fear of grown men, so over the course of several years I have slowly dissolved this fear. God may have the final judgement on where I go, but I decide in my heart who I am.
(c) 2002 Krista M. Hines
