SHARING A CAKE

Jimmy and Stella have got a cake, and must share it between themselves. Jimmy, who is older of the two, cheats his sister by taking the biggest share.

Stella protests by saying:

Stella: Hey, you! That is not fair. If I were you, I would take the smaller piece.

Jimmy: Well, you have got it now!

By Mutabazi Alex

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SCHOOL ASSIGNMENT

Pupils were given an assignment to find three words. Their female teacher told them to come with three new words each the following day.

Mike then went back home, and decided to get the words from his mother, brother and sister.

He found his mother in a bad mood, and asked her. “Mother, give me one word for the school lesson tomorrow” “Stupid”, his mother replied.

He then went to his brother who was watching a Superman film. “Bob, give me one word for the English lesson tomorrow”

“Superman”, his brother replied.

Mike then went to his sister, who was dancing to a song on the radio. “Becky, can you give me a word for the English lesson?”

“Ladies first”, she answered back.

The next day, at school, Mike was asked by the teacher what words he had got from home.

Teacher: What words have you got?

Mike: Stupid.

Teacher: Who do you think you are?

Mike: Superman Teacher: Get out of this class

Mike: Ladies first.

By Saliira Tonny, S.1. East

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LAND OF IDIOTS

Idi Amin, the one-time president of Uganda, was said to have been so revolutionary that at one stage, he contemplated changing the name of Uganda to “Idi Republic”.

However, his advisors told him that if he did that, the country would become the land of idiots.

Idi Amin: Why do you think so?

Advisor: Because the people from Cyprus are called Cypriots.

Amin: So, what is wrong with that?

Advisor: The people from Idi Republic would be called Idiots.

By Tabaro Edwin

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THE BIBLE AT BREAKFAST

At the breakfast table, the parents suddenly realise that there isn’t enough bread for the whole family to take for breakfast. The father then sends John to run to the nearest shop and buy bread.

However, he had forgotten one important item.

Father: John, run to the shop and buy some bread.

John: But father, the bible says man can not live on bread alone.

Father: So what has that got to do with us?

John: Give me money for blueband as well.

By Ssendawula Robert, S.2.West.

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WHAT OUR FATHERS CAN DO

One day, James and Michael were talking about what their fathers can do, each one trying to out compete the other in praising his father.

James: Do you know the Suez Canal?

Michael: Yes of course! James: Well, my father dug it.

Michael: That is nothing! Do you know the Dead Sea?

James: Yes.

Michael: My father killed it.

By Twijukye Joshua

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THE AMUSING ACCIDENT

Last Friday, an accident happened at the road junction and a journalist, eager to write a story about it, rushed to the scene. But owing to the big crowd of people there, he was unable to break through them to see the accident victim.

Then he got an idea as to how he could pass through the crowds.

“Let me pass through, and see my son”, he implored while crying.

The crowd then let him pass through, and on reaching the center, the found that the accident had infact knocked a dog.

By Musiime Ronald, S.1.East