This page is dedicated to my friend Shawn who is a very humorus person in the ways of Star Wars. Like sending pictures into my head like two Hutts mating (which we all know is imposable because hutts have a similar mating system to the African Bull Frog, the can change sexs and impreginate themselves) Or like the stories he tells about me like how my life will end up. Anyways this is for you Shawn.
This is the story my friend Shawn wrote about me.
"My name is Derek. I am a very sad person. Every time I try to say somthing smart I get yelled at by my arch nemisis Kevan. Like the day I picked up a peparoni stick and said it was a salami. *sob* The memory is so horrid it stains my memory like grape juice. I thought he would never stop beating me with the peparoni stick. Now I am paranoid and when ever someone makes quick movements I instinctivly go into a feetal possition. *sob* My only confort now is my band with my sister and her Hanson music. The music has shown me the way to inner peace. Who knew MMM Bop could turn my life around in the way that it has. Now every time I feel blue I just remember those three long haired yankee feminine sounding hipsters. If I could only influence my other hero George Lucas to make a part for Hanson in the new Star Wars movies. I love Star Wars and one day I am going to be rich and have my face changed to look like Yoda's through the mirical of plastic surgery. Then and only then can i obtain the popularity that I have so fought to achieve. Yes poularity. Now I won't have to hang around with my sister and Kevan the one who destroyed my innocence. The girls will love me and I will never be shuned again. God bless Yoda. God bless Star Wars!"
This is what Shawn thinks I will look like after the surgery.
"Signs that You've Seen the ‘Star Wars' Movies Too Many Times "
As presented on the 02/21/97 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
10. Your poodles are named "C," "3," "P" and "O"
9. You won't sleep with your wife unless she says, "Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope"
8. You spent $10,000 trying to Rogaine yourself into Chewbacca
7. You're continually stunned when the President makes major decisions without consulting Mark Hamill
6. Your favorite pickup line: "Would you like to handle my light saber?"
5. You keep referring to your lawn mower as "that crazy droid"
4. You spend most of your days trying to use "the Force" to open a can of pears
3. You once saw an eggplant that looked kind of like Darth Vader and almost had a heart attack
2. Your sex life is strictly "Han Solo," if you know what I mean
1. You like Yoda so much, you voted for Ross Perot
