When you first walked away I glanced
to see if you were going to look back.
You did, and I chuckled;
rather pleased with myself
I knew you needed me, but better I knew
you knew it too
But unusually a cold wind slapped me in August
And I became at an in between time-
now
At first I felt pleased with myself
Next I wondered what was taking you so long
Then fear-
then lonliness-
now.....nothing?
You told me you wouldn't come back,
so far you're doing real well at staying gone
but time no longer passes quickly.
Ten years is a long time to wait
especially since yesterday.
I've honestly stopped looking for love
I figure a good love only comes along once
in an entire lifetime. Let Love find me now
See, you came to me, but I forgot to notice.
I keep forgetting I'm mortal and everything
goes by only once-
My lifetime love came without warning.....
no pre-arrangement;
but leaving I got plenty of both
now that I think of it
I guess I was just too busy
playing God to notice.
So now I'm at the inbetween stage
Really feeling nothing
I still go through the motions of staying alive
still too busy playing God to notice
anything or anyone
Once upon a time
never comes again
trying to force it back
returning back to when
The "maybes" never came
the "could bes" never will
the "perhaps" always staying
on the frozen window sill
The days gone by so quickly
the nights are longer still
The cotton clouds deflated
the Milky Way shall spill
The frost blocks out the sun
the trees all shed their leaves
The winter coming in July
between the dark, cold dreams
I don't despair the wishes
of loving long gone friends
but once upon a time
will never come again
I used to love to watch my
Grandma in her backyard
Always with her snap draggons or sweet peas
her hands as soft and wrinkled as the petals,
her fingers as cracked
as the dust
She was always busy,
but never too busy to bake sugar cookies for us.
Their aroma was like flowers to me,
and when she baked you could smell it floating
in and out of the trees all the way
down the block
But I've grown up now.
My flowers always die,
and sugar cookies make me fat.
But that's ok-
there's no one around to bake
them anymore anyway.
And the sun it sits like a cloud on high
ticking greedily my life away
From where comes permission, to who has the right
to endlessly forfeit my days
No man spends all his time wisely
nor accomplishes all he can do
for with every tick of the sun going down
rising seconds will bring something new
And who's to dictate how I must live
or whether my life is a waste
for by treating each day like the tick of a clock
there's much more for me there to taste
I have no place I have to be
commitments made only to one
Yet knowing my life is flowing away
with every great tick of the sun
But somewhere a new life beginning
Sun arising with new golden glow
But my eyes they darken, and soon will be gone
my ticks into days turning slow
And the fact I no longer control them
I've conformed to the timekeeper's means
of loves long gone by, and places I've been
all images, distant drempt dreams
The ticking slows down to a halt
and in using the sun will forget
the time I am leaving all past by so fast
while in rising, the sun always sets.
There's a love inside me dieing
my feeling drift away
there's a love inside me dieing
diminshing day by day
The feeling that I used to know
that once made up my life
there's a love inside me dieing
a silent, stabbing knife
I can't control the losses
I can't control the pain
There's a loss of love I know
that I could never stand again
I'll have you for a friend
that's the best that I can do
my emotions inside are dieing
the credit I'll save for you
Everything I gave you
I took all that I could
my love is gone, and I feel numb
but the emptiness is good.......
So now my life is ended
or has it just begun?
I'm used to being "half of two"
but now I'm "only one"
I'll make it on my own
I always have it seems
My bubbles burst-my clouds pour rain
reality fades my dreams
It seems that seldon dreams come true
Especially concerning me
I've got my world-to a point it's real
But there's parts no one can see
You almost had me believing
in fairy tales and dreams
Don't worry-I'll make in on my own
I always have it seems.
. Everything on here is mine, or otherwise marked. Please, ask me before taking something!