Disclaimer: Saban owns the Power Rangers. I own the three shiny pennies sitting on my desk, but not for long.
Irresistible
by Starhawk
The heavens were crying. He knew the starlines on the main screen were part of a computer-generated image, for the EM scanners didn't work at hyperrush velocity. Even if they did, stars were simply too far apart to look like what he saw on the screen, no matter how fast the Megaship was going--but the image haunted him nonetheless.
If the stars themselves were tears, it still wouldn't be enough for what he was feeling. With Cassie unconscious, his mind was slowly starting to clear, and he couldn't even fathom what he had done. He had been ready to fire on Aquitian fighters, even the other Rangers, if necessary, all for the sake of someone he didn't even know.
The person he had freed from her containment cell wasn't Cassie. She was changed beyond recognition, twisted into the essence of an evil he had spent his life fighting. And he had almost given up that fight, sided with her over everything he knew to be right.
*Almost?* he thought bitterly. He *had* sided with her. He could blame it on their link all he wanted, but the truth was that he couldn't live without her. Evil or not, he had to be with her, had to be able to pretend Cassie was still alive somehow.
*Without her, I die.* She had been his reason for living even before he met her, ever since Jenna had forced him back from death to wait for her. But he had not truly realized how much he depended on her until today, when someone who wasn't even Cassie had been able to turn him against everyone around him for nothing more than the promise of her kiss.
He knew that when she woke, things would start to blur again. Now he could see what she had been doing, how she had been manipulating him, but one look from her and he would start to question again. The difference between good and evil would become less distinct--and less important in the face of the possibility that he might never see her again.
He had chosen her over the side of good once today, and he knew instinctively that she could make him do it again. He needed her, needed to believe that some spark of Cassie still lingered within her, no matter her actions to the contrary. The day he gave up on her would be the day he had nothing left worth living for.
He wished it wasn't that way, that he was stronger, but Cassie had always been the strong one. She had been the one who could go on with her life not even knowing if he was still alive, while he had had been tormented by constant dreams of her and the ever-present fear for her safety while they were apart.
*Without her, I die.* The truth behind those words had brought him back to her over and over again, and it had kept him at her side from the moment he learned that she wanted him there. And all it would take was her saying that she *still* wanted him there, and he could not deny that he would stay with her--evil or not.
He was dangerous, and he knew it. He had seen what she could make him do. As soon as she woke, she would make right seem wrong again, and all he had to cling to was the thought that somehow she *could* be the woman he loved again.
If Zhane had lied…
He glanced away from Cassie's still form for the first time since teleporting onto the Megaship. The Silver Ranger stood by the pilot's station now, hands braced on the console and head bowed. The other seemed strangely subdued, and he managed to pull his thoughts away from Cassie long enough to wonder about it.
"Zhane," he said finally, and saw the other start. But he didn't know what to ask, couldn't make himself concentrate enough to form a question.
Zhane did not look at him. "We're going to Earth," he muttered. "We'll meet--the sorceress there."
He straightened, flinching as he felt his fingers stroke Cassie's hair unconsciously. If Zhane was lying, or somehow wrong about this "sorceress", he knew he would be lost. Even now he couldn't stay away from her…
Turning his back on Cassie with an effort, he joined Zhane at the forward row of stations. "That is not what I was asking," he said. "You--are troubled."
"It's none of your business," Zhane said in a low voice. "DECA," he said, still not looking up. "Where's Ashley?"
There was no immediate reply. Lifting his head at last, Zhane's eyes were a little too bright. "DECA?" he asked again.
"Ashley did not want you to know where she had gone," DECA answered at last.
Zhane looked momentarily bewildered. "DECA, just tell me," he said, sounding tired.
There was a brief pause. "Ashley left the Megaship for Irini in the Astro Megazord shuttle approximately half an hour ago," DECA said.
Rather than seeming surprised, Zhane just dropped into Andros's chair and stared at the console in front of him. "I should have known," he muttered under his breath.
"Zhane--" Now he was sure there was something more going on than Cassie's altered state. "What has happened?"
"Why do you care?" Zhane asked, his voice flat. "You can't see anything but *her*."
He didn't appreciate Zhane's accusation, but he knew it was true. He forced himself to stay calm as he said, "I have no reason to if you do not tell me what has occurred."
Zhane shrugged, as though it didn't really matter to him. "I thought the Aquitians would have told you. The Delta Megaship was destroyed by Darkonda last night."
"I am sorry," he said automatically, but he still didn't understand why it warranted this kind of distress from the Silver Ranger. "This--is a great loss?"
Zhane glared up at him, unshed tears shining in his eyes. "*Andros* was onboard."
Shocked, he could only stare--until a tremor ran through the ship and DECA announced simultaneously, "Hyperrush is offline." The starlines faded from the screen, replaced by realtime images as the EM scanners took over the monitor again.
***
"What--" Zhane was on his feet in an instant, almost glad for the distraction. He didn't want to fall apart in front of anyone, least of all a Ranger who hadn't even cried over the loss of his entire team.
*Cassie cried,* his mind reminded him, but he shook his head. *It isn't the same,* he thought, calling up a tactical map on the screen to the left of Andros' station. *You can't cry *for* someone…*
"Cassie's gone," Saryn said suddenly, and he thought the other had somehow read his mind until he glanced over his shoulder. There was no one on the Bridge but the two of them.
"I thought you were watching her," Zhane snapped.
"She was unconscious," the other Ranger replied defensively, and Zhane saw his visor tilt slightly. "Zhane--"
Zhane heard the high-pitched whine at almost the same moment, and he knew what it meant where the other did not. He leaped backward a half-second before the panel in front of him sparked violently, a good third of its lights dimming to complete darkness.
*Feedback,* he thought, spinning toward the lift. "She has to be in the engine room."
Saryn was right behind him, and Zhane's mind raced throughout the brief ride. If Cassie had sabotaged the engines, they had better hope she hadn't done anything permanent. Stuck between star systems, they had nowhere to land, and at anything less than hyperrush it would be weeks to *anywhere*, let alone Earth.
The doors slid open, and somehow Saryn made it out of the lift before him, running down the hall toward the engine room. Zhane followed, and saw him draw his weapon just before he entered. Once more, Zhane found himself regretting the absence of his digimorpher.
"Cassie, step away from the console," Saryn was saying as Zhane came to a halt behind him.
Cassie didn't even look up from what she was doing. "We've already been through this," she said, her voice sounding almost amused. "You won't fire."
Zhane held himself still for a mere second, seeing Saryn's arm tremble and knowing Cassie was right. Stepping forward, he held out his hand wordlessly. It was asking a lot, he knew, but he couldn't summon his own blaster without his morpher, and they couldn't let Cassie continue.
Saryn's visor turned toward him, and he stared back intently. *Come on, Saryn,* he willed. *You can't do it, and *someone* has to.*
The other looked down abruptly. "Please don't hurt her," he whispered, so softly Zhane could barely hear, and put his blaster in Zhane's outstretched hand.
The weapon was unfamiliar, but the Power was universal, and instinctive knowledge of how to work the blaster flooded Zhane's mind. "He won't fire," Zhane said, raising the weapon and letting it power up. "But I will, I promise you. Step back."
He saw Cassie hesitate, and he was about to fire a warning shot in her direction when she lifted her hands out to her sides and stepped away from the console. The smile on her face worried him, though--and a mere second later the console she had been working on exploded outward in a shower of sparks.
He flinched instinctively, and he saw her wince as the sparks stung her skin. Saryn took an involuntary step forward, and Zhane shot a warning glance in his direction. "Keep moving," he ordered Cassie. She took another step, and in one quick movement he let the weapon's power setting fall to a mild stun charge and pulled the trigger.
Saryn's hands clenched at his sides as he watched her crumple to the floor. "Light stun," Zhane said quickly, not really wanting to know what the other would do to him if it had been anything more.
Saryn nodded once, his gaze still fixed on Cassie. Zhane hesitated, but the other didn't seem inclined to say anything, and they needed to find out what she had done.
He walked over to the console, fanning the light haze of smoke away and inspecting the damage. This was considerably worse than the power overload she had sent through the console on the Bridge, and there was no way to tell if she had actually damaged the engines or just the equipment that controlled them.
"We will have to replace this entire console," Saryn said, suddenly standing at his shoulder, and he tried not to jump.
*No wonder they called him "Phantom",* he thought inadvertently. *Couldn't he make *some* noise?* "Yeah," he agreed. "We won't know if she did anything to the engines until that's done. I think the one on the Bridge can be repaired, though."
Saryn nodded. "I can--" He paused suddenly. "It is your ship, now," he said at last. "What do you wish me to do?"
Zhane blinked. He supposed, once, the ship would have been his had anything happened to Andros. But now… "It's the team's ship," he said quietly. "The Megaship belongs to the Astro team."
The other Ranger accepted the correction with a single nod. "If you can replace this," Zhane said with a sigh, gesturing to the burned-out console, "I'll try to fix the Bridge controls."
"I can." Saryn glanced at the console, and then over at Cassie.
Zhane followed his gaze. "We're going to have to confine her--"
"No!" Zhane just looked at him, and Saryn took a deep breath. "She won't hurt me," he said softly. "I will watch her."
"I don't think that's such a good idea," Zhane said warily. The last time Saryn had set himself to "watch" her, he had ended up breaking her out of her cell and taking off in a stolen Aquitian ship.
Saryn didn't answer right away. "Then keep my blaster," he said at last, and Zhane glanced down automatically at the weapon he still held in his hand. "DECA can monitor the engine room," the other continued. "Have her do a visual check every few minutes, to make sure--" He swallowed. "To make sure we are both still here."
Zhane considered that. Maybe that would be enough. He didn't know, but Saryn seemed adamant about not confining Cassie. And how much trouble could they get into if DECA was watching them? "All right," he said at last. "I'll check back with you in a little while."
Saryn nodded once. Zhane clipped the other's blaster to his belt and turned to leave, pausing when Saryn said his name. Glancing over his shoulder, he raised an eyebrow.
"Thank you," Saryn said quietly. "For--what you did a few minutes ago."
Surprised, Zhane had stop and think. *For threatening Cassie,* he realized suddenly. *When he couldn't.* "You're welcome," he said neutrally.
Walking out of the engine room, he headed for the lift, hoping he had not made a huge mistake by leaving Cassie alone with Saryn, unconscious or not.
***
He dragged the new console top over to the damaged section of paneling, but did not slide it into place. There was too much to do underneath to block out the only source of light, so he propped it up against the unaffected panels and paused for a moment.
He told himself not to look, but he couldn't help it. Twisting, he glanced over at Cassie's motionless form, still sprawled on the floor where she had fallen. He had been sorely tempted to go to her the moment Zhane left, but he had managed to restrain himself.
Tearing his gaze away from her, he stared hard at the console in front of him until his mind reluctantly started to focus again. He let his morph fade, knowing he would need every bit of space to complete these repairs. He reached for the welder he had left on a nearby console--and froze as he heard movement behind him.
*No, please don't let her be awake,* he thought involuntarily. Why hadn't he let Zhane confine her?
"Ow," he heard a familiar voice mutter, and he couldn't keep himself from turning around.
Cassie was struggling to sit up, clutching her right arm and wincing a little as she tried to move it. "Are--are you all right?" he asked, wishing he didn't have to know.
She nodded, biting her lip. "I'm fine."
A glance at her arm betrayed her, though, and he was at her side in a moment. "What happened? Let me see."
"No, it's nothing," she insisted, pulling her arm closer to her chest. "I just got burned a little when the panel…"
She trailed off as he reached for her arm, tugging gently on her hand to make her let go. She let him inspect it, wincing when he ran his fingers across the angry red marks on her skin. "This should be treated," he told her, getting to his feet again. "Wait here."
"No, it's fine, really," she protested, but he didn't listen. Crossing the room he retrieved one of the emergency aid kits and brought it back to where she was sitting.
"Hold still," he ordered, trying not to meet her gaze. She inhaled sharply as the cool gel touched her skin, though, and he looked up at her face automatically. She was staring at her arm, and he looked away again quickly.
Smoothing the gel across her skin, he tried to be careful, but he saw her wince again. "I'm sorry," he offered quietly, hesitating, but she just shook her head.
"Just do it," she said, through clenched teeth. He did, covering each of the smaller burns with gel and trying not to think about the intimacy of the situation. If DECA told Zhane about this…
Pulling out a light bandage, he wrapped it around her upper arm and tied it carefully. She breathed a sigh of relief as he finished, and he couldn't help looking up again. "Are you all right?"
She sighed again. "I said I was all right last time you asked, and look what it got me."
He looked away. Reaching for the emergency kit, he snapped it shut and stood up to put it away. "Thank you," he heard her whisper, and he looked back in surprise.
She looked strangely vulnerable, sitting on the floor with her bandaged arm cradled against her chest. Her dark eyes followed his every movement, and for a brief moment he thought he saw real gratitude in her expression.
*She's using you,* he told himself harshly, but he couldn't ignore the look in her eyes. And it had been his idea, after all, not hers, to treat her burns. "You're welcome," he answered quietly, staring back at her until she looked away.
Then he shook himself, turning away and striding across the room to replace the emergency kit. *Don't let her do this,* he reminded himself. But when he tried to think about it, he couldn't come up with anything that she *had* done--it had all been him.
This time, as he returned to the console he had been working on, he avoided looking at her. He grabbed the welder off the workstation to the left of the repair area and crouched down in front of the skeletal outline of the new console. Twisting to maneuver underneath it, he shot a covert glance in her direction and found her still watching him.
He almost dropped the welder at the intensity of her gaze, but he managed to continue as though he hadn't noticed. He flipped on the flashlight he had left on the floor and propped it up beside him--the welder itself was one of Andros' tools, and would generate only heat, rather than the combination of heat and light that he was used to working with.
"You can't possibly see with that," Cassie's voice said suddenly, and he heard her footsteps on the metal deck.
"It is enough," he answered, a little wary as he turned the tool on and applied it carefully to the junction between new workstation and old. Unfortunately, she was right--he *couldn't* see as well as he would like, but such were the hazards of working alone.
"Let me," she said, dropping down beside him and picking up the flashlight. "Is that better?"
"Y-yes," he stammered, startled. He waited for some mocking comment, but none was forthcoming. Why was she being so… cooperative? Even helpful?
He shook his head, not wanting to think about it. He had to concentrate on what he was doing. He shifted the welder a little, and from where she was sitting on the floor outside she tilted the flashlight to follow.
***
As Zhane stepped onto the Bridge, he told the onboard computer, "DECA, let me know when Cassie wakes up."
"I am monitoring her now," DECA answered.
"Thanks," he said, looking at the forward stations. He was not looking forward to this. Repair work invariably involved small spaces, of which he was not particularly fond. He was downright scared of them, when he admitted it to himself, but he hoped the fact that he would not actually have to be *inside* anything would help.
*There's plenty of room up here,* he told himself, and indeed, as he worked, the words seemed to help. The words, and the view of deep space that he left displayed on the forward monitor. He found himself remembering the time he had told Andros his trick for falling asleep on the Megaship, and his eyes started to blur.
"Cassie is conscious," DECA interrupted suddenly, and he blinked, trying to clear his eyes.
"Thanks, DECA," he murmured, trying to think of something else. But the memory refused to be banished. "The stars are there, whether you can see them or not," he had told his friend. "Pretend you *are* space--the darkness is you, and all the stars are inside you…"
His hands shook, and he let go of wire junction before he broke it. It had been a child's fancy, but he and Andros had been taken with the idea. They used to pretend that they were moving the stars, rearranging them to make any patterns that occurred to their imaginations--a silly game, he thought now, but one that had entertained them for hours while they were in hyperrush.
Grasping the edge of the console overhead, he pulled himself out from under it abruptly. He took a deep breath, trying determinedly to hold onto his calmness. He let out his breath, then drew another, and just concentrated on breathing for a minute.
The minute stretched into two, and then three, and finally he stood up, sitting in Andros' chair and staring out at the stars. *Andros,* he thought bleakly. *Why did you have to leave me?*
He wondered where Ashley was by now. Andros had said the shuttle had been outfitted for deep space voyages, in case they ever needed to use it as an escape pod, and Ashley would have had to be crazy to take off for Irini in anything without hyperrush capability. Although lately, he wasn't entirely sure of her ability to reason…
He sighed. *Could she really have heard Andros?* he wondered for the fiftieth time. He wanted to think she had, wanted to believe her more than anything else. But his own logic said there was no way Andros could have survived--and more than that, he had been talking telepathically to Andros since they were children. How could she possibly hear him when Zhane could not?
*Andros…* He tried, as he had more times than he could count since the Delta Megaship had exploded, to reach out to his friend. He didn't really expect an answer, but he kept trying, in case that slimmest of all possibilities turned out to somehow be real.
There was only the echo of his own mind, reverberating with his cry. He pushed a hand through his hair, leaning his elbow on the dim console in front of him and resting his forehead against his palm. *If I don't finish this, it won't get done,* he reminded himself half-heartedly.
That wasn't necessarily true, of course. Saryn might finish it. If he didn't run off with Cassie first. The way things were going, Zhane wouldn't be surprised.
"DECA, are Cassie and Saryn still in the engine room?"
"Cassie is helping the Phantom Ranger with repairs to the engine room," DECA confirmed, and he wondered why the computer would never just say "yes" or "no".
Then the import of her words hit him, and he lifted his head. "What?" he asked, puzzled and wondering if he had not been listening carefully enough. "Did you say--Cassie's *helping* him?"
The main viewscreen flickered, the stars replaced by an image of the engine room. Saryn--unmorphed, Zhane noted--was half-buried under the console Cassie had blown apart. And sure enough, there was Cassie, seated at his side and calmly holding a flashlight for him.
*They have the weirdest relationship,* he thought, unbidden. *She threatens to shoot him, and he breaks her out of a cell he put her in. He threatens to shoot her, and she helps him repair a workstation she blew up. Very strange.*
On the other hand, they seemed to be coexisting peacefully, and no matter how it was happening the hyperrush controls *were* getting repaired. Saryn was working, and Cassie wasn't destroying anything, and he supposed that was the most he could hope for right now.
With a sigh, Zhane decided to follow their example. "DECA, put the stars back up on the main screen, please."
The screen faded to black, speckled with glimmering points of far-off light, and he stared out at them for a moment more before getting back to work himself.
***
She wondered if he was cold. His overshirt was still in her cell back on Aquitar, and she couldn't help remembering his tendency to dislike cool temperatures. He almost always wore long sleeves--
She shook her head abruptly. Why should *she* care? *Besides,* she thought, *he never complained about the Megaship's temperature, just Aquitar's.*
She frowned. Seeing him move a little, she tilted her head down to get a better view of what he was doing. Adjusting the flashlight accordingly, she couldn't help but be struck by the bizarreness of the situation.
*What am I *doing*?* she wondered. *I don't want him to fix this--I don't want to go to Earth, and whatever "sorceress" his friend wants to show me to.* She had overheard their conversation earlier, and she had sabotaged the engines as a way of buying time.
She didn't know what had changed his mind about helping her escape, but she could guess. This "sorceress" was going to change her back, make her good again. *That* she most emphatically did not want. "Good" was synonymous with "weak", and she didn't want to give up the power she had found.
There was a freedom in being evil, one she knew from the memories in her head that she had not had before. Why give it up? Why help him *make* her give it up?
Because she cared if he was cold. Because she had offered to hold a flashlight for him just so he could see better while he worked. Because no matter how much she had told herself that she was using him, she had stayed with him even after he had given her the means to escape on her own. And she had done it for a reason.
She didn't want to think about it. But she couldn't avoid the fact that he drew her to him, no matter how she tried to hate him. She couldn't tell if it was all these memories she had of him, or if it was something about the link between them, but she wanted to be where he was. And--she wanted him to be well.
It wasn't just that she couldn't destroy him. She flinched now just thinking about that earlier thought. She couldn't… she didn't want to see him upset, either.
*That's impossible, of course,* she thought, twisting the flashlight a little to follow his hands. *He'll always be upset while I'm like this, and I'm not changing.* But… she had to admit, if only to herself, that she wouldn't mind seeing his pretty eyes smile at her somewhere other than in her memories.
Obviously, his happiness had to be secondary to her own. But she wondered suddenly about something he had said earlier: "You are her--you can be," and she knew that he wanted nothing more than to believe that. Could she, maybe, be that person for him?
*Just for him,* she thought firmly. *None of this playing good for anyone else.* But… maybe for him, if it would keep him with her. He had been willing to run away with her before, after all--why would this time be different?
***
The station frame was firmly in place now, and he had managed to replace most of the optic bundles that had been melted or otherwise destroyed. He linked the last one to the datafeed it would express on the console top, seeing the narrow beam of light follow his every action.
He had no idea how she was doing that. Every once in a while, he would see her lean down and glance underneath the console at him, but most of the time she seemed to trace his movements with the flashlight by sheer instinct.
He couldn't help but remember the last time they had done this. Crammed inside the Megaship's damaged port thruster, she had admitted of her own accord that she was too busy staring at him to pay attention to where she was shining her flashlight. And though she was considerably more helpful this time, he would have given anything to switch this time for that one.
That had been no more than two weeks ago now, and yet it felt like an eternity. For that matter, it had only been two nights since they had fallen asleep in each other's arms, and *that* felt like another lifetime.
*Gods, I *miss* you, Cassie,* he thought, remembering the morning before. He had told her he would miss her when she went back to school… If only he had known how much worse it would be than just seeing her leave for Earth.
He was reaching for miniscan assembly when he felt her hand brush against his knee. He froze, hearing her shift her position and then feeling her hand come to rest on his knee again.
He closed his eyes, reminding himself to breathe. *It's all right,* he told himself. *She's just getting comfortable. She'll move again in a minute.*
But she did not, and he did his best to ignore her. He tugged the miniscanner into place, watching the light play across it and pushing against it to make sure it would stay. He almost lost his grip when her hand started, almost absently, to rub his leg.
"Cassie," he whispered. "Please stop."
He wasn't sure she would hear him, but her hand jerked away abruptly, and he heard her mutter, "Sorry. I didn't even realize…"
He caught his breath at the sincere apology in her voice, and he grabbed hold of the edge of the console to drag himself out. She wasn't looking at him, and he sat up, reaching out tentatively to touch her shoulder. "Cassie?" he breathed.
She looked up, no trace of malice in her expression. "Yes?"
He stared at her, wondering if he dared-- "You're not evil." He said it half because he wanted it to be true, and half because he was starting to doubt again--but was it her influencing him, or the other way around?
"Yes I am," she said, but the words sounded half-hearted at best.
"No," he said, lifting his hand to her face. "You are not…"
She tilted her head the slightest bit, leaning into his touch, and he wondered suddenly if it was unfaithful to Cassie to want to kiss--well, Cassie. As she gazed back at him, dark eyes revealing nothing, he thought it couldn't possibly be.
Leaning slowly forward, he saw her close her eyes, and he told himself that it was only one kiss. *Just one kiss,* he promised. *Then I'll be able to think again…*
Her lips touched his, and he couldn't do anything but feel. Feel her mouth on his, her hand snaking around behind his head, her hair falling soft against his face. He kissed her harder, opening his mouth against hers and feeling her imitate him eagerly.
Her other hand rested on his shoulder, and as she tugged him closer, he suddenly realized what was happening. He had expected her to turn away, to resist somehow, and when she didn't it was up to him to draw back--before the "one kiss" he had so desperately needed turned into something he couldn't stop.
He managed to draw away, the look of frustration on her face not even registering as he tried to calm his heart. "I--I have to finish this," he mumbled, meaning the console repair. So much for clearing his head. It felt twice as cloudy as it had before, and the need to touch her had suddenly become an ache he couldn't ignore.
*It will only get worse if you kiss her again,* he tried to tell himself. His body disagreed, telling him that all it really needed was one more kiss--but he had listened to it before, and it had been wrong.
"No kidding you do," Cassie muttered under her breath. In a more normal tone, she added, "Saryn?"
In the process of turning toward the control top, he stopped in his tracks. To hear her say his name, without the disdain she had been putting into it at first and so nearly like the way Cassie had always said it, continued to startle him. "Yes?"
"Tell me what I can do."
*You can be her!* his mind cried, unbidden. Then he closed his eyes, knowing that wasn't what she meant. If Zhane was wrong about this "sorceress", he knew he would spend the rest of his life trying to convince himself that this person was Cassie.
"Take the other side of this panel," he said at last. "It slides into place along these grooves." Pointing to them with one hand, he gripped the left side of the console top with his other.
She took the right side without question, and together, they lifted it into position. He stepped sideways, giving it a shove down the middle to make sure it was in the right place, and she moved to help him.
"No, it's--all…" He trailed off, feeling her press against him as she leaned forward to give it a push.
"Why do you push it at all?" she asked, not seeming to notice the fact that he suddenly couldn't talk.
He swallowed. "In case the--the clamps haven't…"
She put a hand on his shoulder and rested her chin on it, for all the world as though she was considering his words. But the gesture was far too familiar, and he fought with a vengeance to keep from turning in her direction. "Cassie," he whispered. "I know what you are doing."
"Distracting you?" she answered, lifting her head off his shoulder to look at him. He stared down at the console, feeling her breath warm on his face and her whole body sending chills through his. He knew what she was like--he couldn't *not* react to her.
"Very much so," he admitted, trying to speak above a whisper and failing miserably. "Please… step away."
"You didn't seem to mind kissing me a minute ago," she said quietly, keeping a hand on his shoulder as she slipped around in front of him. Somehow, she squeezed into the space between him and the console, and to step back himself would be admitting defeat.
"That--was different," he managed. He was about to back up anyway when she wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned into him.
"What, because you started it?" she murmured, kissing him hard enough to make him shiver. She didn't let up, kissing him again and again until he couldn't stand it anymore.
With a groan, he pushed his body against hers and let her drive him crazy. Slipping his arms around her to hold her close, he gave himself up to her savage kiss and searching hands, wanting only the ineffable feel of *Cassie* on his skin.
Distantly, he heard someone call his name, and over the pounding in his ears he thought he caught the distinctive hum of a weapon powering up. Cassie stiffened in his arms, and Zhane's voice said, "Cassie, I swear, if you don't step away from him right now, I will shoot you *both*."
He bit his lip, trying not to cry out in protest as she did as she was told. Trembling, he braced his hands against the console and held as still as he could. He heard Zhane bullying her out of the room, did not ask where they were going. He stared with unseeing eyes as the darkened panel in front of him, and all he could think was, *Without her, I die…*
***
Leaving Cassie both sedated and restrained in the Medical Bay, Zhane headed back to the engine room--and Saryn, who was still in exactly the same position he had been when Zhane left. Hunched over the workstation, he did not even look up when Zhane stomped into the room.
"Does the word 'evil' mean nothing to you?" Zhane demanded. "What were you thinking! She can't be your assassin *and* your lover, you know!"
"She is not my assassin," Saryn muttered, his voice hoarse.
"Oh, but she is your lover!" Zhane threw his hands up in the air. "Great! That's just great! So when you're lying in bed, does she tell you all her plans for universal domination?"
"Don't say that," Saryn said, his shoulders stiff and his voice a little stronger that it had been before.
"What, that your lover is evil?" Zhane glared at the other Ranger's back. "For every time she smiles at you, Saryn, she's shot at one of us!"
Saryn whirled, his face a mask of anger. "You dishonor Cassie's memory by speaking of her that way," he said through clenched teeth.
"You dishonor her memory by sleeping with her!" Zhane shot back.
"I am not sleeping with her!" Saryn shouted.
"You could've fooled me!"
Saryn's hands were fists at his sides, and his eyes were dark underneath his furious expression. "Don't you think I know she's evil? Don't you think I *understand* that? I can't stop the way I feel about her, Zhane!"
"You mean you can't stop wanting her in bed with you," Zhane snapped.
Some of the fight seemed to drain out of Saryn at that, and he closed his eyes. "No," he said, his voice tight. "I can not. You are right."
Zhane paused, somewhat startled. "What?"
"You are right," Saryn repeated, louder. "But you can not imagine what it is like to love someone with all your heart and soul, and then have them suddenly ripped away from you."
Zhane's eyes narrowed. "Yes, I can," he said bitterly. "If you would open your eyes and look around you, Saryn, you'd see you're not the only one who's hurting."
Saryn just stared at him, an unreadable expression on his face. "Are you--"
"I don't want to talk about it," Zhane interrupted flatly. "All I want is to know what you're going to do about Cassie."
"Cassie is evil," Saryn answered roughly. "What *can* I do?"
"Accept it," Zhane shot back. "The way the rest of us have to."
"I *know* it," Saryn said with a glare. "I *know* she is evil, and it terrifies me that I do not care!"
Zhane just stared at him for a moment, wondering if there was a veiled insult in there somewhere. "What do you mean?" he asked at last, warily.
Saryn looked away abruptly. "I mean that I need her," he said quietly. "I have to be with her, whether she is good or not. I have to hear her say she loves me, even if it's the most transparent lie I ever hear her speak. I need *Cassie*, Zhane, or I have no more reason to live. And if she is evil forever…" His voice trailed off to almost nothing, and he whispered, "Then so will I be."
Zhane said nothing, not sure words existed to respond to a declaration like that. Finally, with the silence weighing heavily on him, he muttered, "Then she'd better not be evil forever."
Turning to look past Saryn, he asked, "How close are you to being done?"
He ignored Saryn as the other Ranger tried to steady himself, process the question and come up with a reasonable answer. "Very," he said at last. "If you reconnect the power flows, I will test the optic expression."
Zhane stared at the dark hole underneath the console top and sighed. This was exactly what he didn't need right now. "No," he said simply. "If you want to switch jobs, I'll help, but otherwise, no."
Saryn looked at him, an easily readable expression of annoyance on his face. Zhane just shook his head, too tired to fight anymore. "Look," he said. "I'm not being difficult. I'm just not climbing under that panel, and that's all there is to it."
"You are afraid," Saryn said, watching him carefully.
Zhane sighed again. "Yes, I'm afraid. I was trapped under a very large building when I was eleven; are you happy? Now, do you want help or not?"
Saryn actually seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding. "Yes," he said at last. Then, more quietly he added, "Thank you."
He turned away before Zhane could answer, and Zhane just stared after him for a moment. Finally, he followed the other Ranger to the newly replaced control panel and waited beside it to call out light numbers as they appeared. As Saryn climbed underneath again, Zhane muttered quickly, "You're welcome."
He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw Saryn's lips quirk just before his head disappeared into darkness. His hand groped for the flashlight Cassie had been using earlier, and Zhane grabbed it off the console and passed it to him.
The other said nothing, but lights started to flicker on the console, and Zhane read them off as they appeared. As the last one glowed to life, Saryn's hand grasped the panel and hauled the rest of him out from underneath the workstation. Getting to his feet, he looked over Zhane's shoulder as the station ran an automatic engine check.
Zhane breathed a small sigh of relief at the results, glancing instinctively toward the engines. "They're all right," he said grateful for whatever small amount of luck had been watching out for them.
He caught Saryn's eye again and added, "ETA to Earth is fifteen minutes."