I didn't even hear Nick come home that night, but I had been prepared for when he was to leave again.
The running water awoke me as Nick took his shower. I realized that only a bit more and he would be gone.
Time dragged on and on as he got dressed, but finally he was ready to leave.
"Bye Amanda." I heard Nick leaving the hotel room, which saddened me because I expected him to kiss me. Just as I was thinking that, he stopped in his tracks. I heard him sigh and turn back towards the bedroom. I quickly shut my eyes as I felt him lower to his knees by my side.
"Bye Baby." He ran his fingers through the sides of my hair and pulled me close to kiss. I kissed him back and laced my fingers through his once I found them. "Remember I love you."
"I love you too," I said. I opened my eyes for a moment, looked at the sadness in his eyes and closed them again. The look said everything. He obviously was very aware of the danger this relationship was in. I wasn't making him happy enough, and that look was all I needed to finalize my plans.
I heard Nick leave for work and I quickly arose. I made the bed, took a shower, got dressed and stood in front of my already packed suitcase.
"Bye Nick." I placed the rose he had given me earlier and a letter addressed to him in the center of the bed. He'd be sure to find them there.
"Daddy, I'm coming home."
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Nick's POV
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"Amanda!" I shouted as I entered the hotel room. "I've got a surprise for you!" I rushed to set the food on the counter and hurried to the bedroom. "Not only do you get to eat Chinese food, but I bought you something." I glanced in the bedroom and saw that it was empty. I figured she was in the bathroom, so I slowly knocked. "Amanda?" there was no response so I slowly opened the door to find nothing.
"Oh no." My heart pounded and my mind raced as I saw the rose and the letter on the bed. "Please say she didn't leave..."
Dear Nick,
I'm sorry beyond belief that I have to do this. By now you've noticed that I am not here, instead, I'm home. My flight was at eight so I should be home sometime in the afternoon.
Why did I leave? You know, and I know why. This really wasn't working Nick, and as long as we have no serious commitments to each other there is no reason for us not to explore a new relationship. Maybe we're just way too young to be in love, maybe it was your career standing in the way, or maybe it was just not meant to be. I love you, and I can't seem to spell out how much, or to what extent so I'll say it again. I love you. This was not your problem, nor was it mine. Our failing relationship was in the hands of God and now it all depends on us to do something rather than to sit back and pretend nothing has changed. So I am making the first move.
I feel that friends would be a lovely relationship between us, that is, when we get over each other, but just not right away. Whenever that time comes, you can contact me and find me at home, that is, if you ever find the time for me.
So I can stop these tears and so I won't have to rip this letter up and stay here, I'll say my final I love you and leave.
Love Always and Forever,
Amanda.
I lifted my head up from the letter and sat down on the bed. My head clouded over and I felt dizziness hit.
I pulled the gift I had bought her out and sighed. It had been one step closer to a serious commitment.
I opened the box and stared at the promise ring. Next to it was the letter I had written for her. It was a ring that symbolized that we would never part and no matter what we'd always be together.
My heart sank and I began to feel tears filling up in my eyes. If only she were to see the ring, and be able to read my letter. I had to let go, Amanda and I were officially broken up, whether I liked it or not. And there was nothing I could do about it.
But that was just it. I couldn't let go. I needed her too much, and no matter how much we argued we had to stay together. We had to.
I stood up, grabbed my keys, and rushed out the door. If I hurried, I could get to Florida tonight.
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Amanda's POV
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"You didn't take any pictures?" Jakob asked me.
"Well, a few. I left earlier than I anticipated so I didn't fill a whole roll up."
"Oh."
Jakob and I were in my bedroom talking. He was watching me put my clothes away and me straighten up a bit.
"You know that was the biggest lie you ever told Dad."
"Lie? What are you talking about?"
"Why you came back early. It's obvious you and Nick had a fight. A big fight."
"That's ridiculous Jakob," I said looking downward.
"So he slept with another girl?"
"Jakob!" I threw the t-shirt I had been folding at him. "Nick would never do that to me."
"Then what!" he shouted while smiling.
"Well...I dunno if I should tell you. You might say something to Dad."
"I thought we established this? What goes on between you and me stays between us." He sighed. "So are you gonna tell me? It's obvious you love Nick a lot, so why did you leave 3 days early!"
"Okay, okay. Well Nick and I are in love, but we always fight. And we both decided that if things didn't go right this week we would stop everything and just be friends. But nothing we do seems to work, I just decided to leave."
"Oh. Well that vacation was a waste."
"I know."
"So was the relationship."
"I know," I repeated. "But it's okay. It's not like I love him anymore."
"You don't!?!"
"That's why I left. I don't love him anymore. I don't want to be with him if I don't love him."
"You lie," Jakob said.
"No I don't."
"Well whatever. I'm gonna go and clean my room. It looks like a tornado went through it." I rolled my eyes and continued putting my clothes back in their original spots.
Jakob had been right. I did lie, I lied right through my teeth. But I had a theory. If I convinced other people that I didn't love Nick anymore then maybe my heart would begin to believe it. The truth was, I was dying inside and knowing that I would probably never see or hear from Nick again made it worse. What if I had made a huge mistake? What if my heart were to eat me alive for the pain I caused myself?
I placed my head in my hands. I begged God to just let me know if I had made the right decision or not. And if I hadn't...just let me get my Nick back.
