THE "BEING AN EXPERT AT BEING A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND" SITE

• Get bitten by a radioactive badger or even a chaffinch if you will. Funnely enuff, this won't kill you - infact it'll make you well'ard and you'll have super powers.
• Get a glass eye and a South African accent.
• Employ a couple of goons and shout orders at them in a comedy voice. Make sure that they do everything wrong on purpose so that you can then say "Grrr.. I suppose if you want something done properly, you have to do it yourself! To the arch carrier you bungling buffoons!
• Affect a bizarre cackle.

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN WE TRIED IT:
Hello! This is Charles speaking. I managed to escape but unfortunately, Adam's in prison. He has written a small note to put up on this page:

Hi fans, this is Adam. I am in prison. I hope you get this message. Can anyone think of a way to escape from prison? I've tried shouting at the top of my voice until the guards got fed up and let me go, but they decided to kick me in the nads instead.
Then I tried vomiting on the cell bars so that they might erode but it is taking far too long and my cell is starting to smell a bit funky.
Please help!

Love and hugs and tricks on you all

Adam

So there you go. Please write all prison escape suggestions in the guestbook. Meanwhile, I'm off to rob an old lady*! (Bizzarre cackle)

*Please note this is only a joke. We are nice criminals and wouldn't dream of robbing anyone.