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Her smile.
Her laugh.
Her body.
Everything about her is beautiful. But that wasn’t why I had her. It was because she was a valuable queen. A queen that the tribe would pay highly for.
And I let my feelings get in the way.
I could have kept her for a long time— forever. But I did what I thought was best. I let her go. I made her go. She didn’t want to. But it was for her. She was young. I was young. Now, all these years later, I regret what I did.
"Let me stay, please let my stay." She had pleaded over and over. But I didn’t listen to the sadness in her voice, that soothing soprano voice.
My daughter says that what I did was honorable, and I guess she’s right. It would have been selfish of me to keep me from her family, her tribe, and everything that she knew.
She turned her head and her eyes landed on my hiding spot. Her smile faded.
She had seen me.
On impulse, she reached towards my silver brother and grabbed his shoulder. She points to me. I freeze in terror, praying that he doesn’t see me. He doesn’t. My muscles relax and I sigh with relief. I know I should go if I want to keep from getting caught. But looking at her puts me into a trance, and I can’t move.
I want to tell her that I love her just one more time. But I can’t tell her now, in front of the tribe. I will write it in a letter, and leave it at her home.
It’s done. I finished the letter. It is getting dark and know that she will be heading home soon.
Quietly, I make my way to her home. Leaving the note with her name on it on her door step.
A train whistle echos over the city. Her mate is leaving.
She picks the letter up and opens the envelope. Looking around to see if anyone is nearby, she starts to read—
To my dear Jennyanydots,
I know this is not the best way to explain everything to you, on a slip of paper, but I can’t see you in person. I just wanted to tell you that I still love you. I have since the day I made you leave.
I watch you in the junkyard everyday, talking with your friends and looking after the kittens, wondering if you still think about our time together.
I also see you and our daughter come closer and closer everyday. That is what I always wanted. To see you laugh and tell stories as mother and daughter.
Jenny, please let tell me if you feel the same way. Wondering how you feel has haunted me, because that’s all I can do— wonder.
Good night and goodbye my love, may you always find happiness. Because I cannot.
Sincerely,
Your first love.
Jennyanydots looked up from the letter with a tear in her eye. "Oh, Macavity…"
