Of What Happened Afterwards

A pause.

Click!

Another pause.

Click! Click!

Clickaclickaclick!

"Dammit!"

Click!
"It's not working, Misto," Pouncival said, stating the obvious for the tenth time in a row.

"Accursed machine!" Misto let fly a lightning bolt at the PC but it was absorbed by the lightning rod positioned just above it.

"Temper temper, Misto--that's what Mac set up the lightning rod for in the first place," Pounce warned him. "You know how mad he'll get when he finds out you've fried another computer . . ."

"Yeah, but this webpage-thingy is taking forever even without the PC hanging!"

"Call Mac to fix it?"

"Okay . . ."

They ambled across the junkyard to where Macavity was connecting a large number of wires to an illegal AC/DC adapter.

"Mac," Misto began but was cut off with Mac waved a paw at him.

"The PC hung again? Well, you've got to hang on a while--I've got to get the new dish hooked up for tonight's match."

"Er, pay you catnip for it?"

"Tempting, but no . . ."

"Er, we'll help you with your wiring?"

"Desperate, aren't you? Deal--hold this wire for me . . ."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A peaceful afternoon in the junkyard . . .

A limo drove up the junkyard gates. The cats present poked their head out inquisitively as a cat hopped out.

This cat had a leather trenchcoat and shades. And a catnip-cigarette in a catnip-cigarette holder in one paw.

Cassandra was the first cat to speak up.

"Tanta?"

"In the flesh," Tantomile said. "How's my favourite junkyard-livin' kitties?"

"Fine . . ."

"Swank ride, Tanta!"

"How's Cori?"

"Tsk, why does everyone ask me about Cori--"

"You’re his twin after all . . ."

"Look, if your bro ran off with some guys called the Queens of the Desert and never writes, you wouldn't be so close with him either. I get the psychic messaging once in a blue moon from Cori, but that's it," Tanta said as she waved her catnip-cigar holder negligently.

Alonzo waved the smoke away. "Phew! You're setting a bad example for the kits, Tanta."

"Speak for yourselves," Tanta said, rolling her eyes--from behind her shades of course. "Even I've heard of the Friday Night orgies you guys had here. Speaking of which, I was wondering if I could join y'all . . ."

"Well of course, you're a Jellicle after all . . ."

"And bring some friends along?"

"Wait a minute, some *friends* you say . . ."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Somewhere in Nepal . . .

A snow-covered peak, utterly devoid of life . . .

Until someone cursed in feline, shattering the quiet like a hammer thrown into a window.

A mittened paw grasped at the rock ledge and once assured of a firm hold, the rest of the climber followed along with the ten pounds of backpack tied to one foot.

Not bad for the day's climb, Demeter thought as she set up camp.

She pulled out her journal. Which was full of entries like:

Unfreezing the nib of her pen, she wrote down the day's entry.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In the junkyard that night . . .

All was peaceful. The Jellicle Moon shone high in the sky--

Thud!

"Owwww! Who put that wire there?"

"Pipe down Alonzo!"

"Munku--what are doing with . . . all those chips?"

"Eat them, silly! It's the big match tonight--and you just tripped over one of the cables Mac's been laying down."

"Well that explains the satellite dish that sprouted from the junkpile today . . ."

"Help me with these cheese snacks, willya?"

"Only if I get some . . ."

"Okay, okay--we'll have to go back for the beer and milk later and you can join us when we watch the match."

"Beer? You know what Jelly and Jenny would say about that. If they weren't 'nipped up from invading the catnip patch today, that is . . ."

"Yes, yes--I know! So pipe down! A tom's got to have some vices you know--after all I did lose the love of my life recently . . ."

"Besides catnip?"

"If you *have* to know, we've got a secret stash saved away. So shut your gob and you can have a share."

"Oh-ho, I understand now, oh great Jellicle Leader . . ."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A row of kittens sat in the old car that Tugger and Bomba called home.

"All right, behave kitties, Daddy and me are going out tonight," Bomba said to her kittens and pulled Jemima forwards. "Jemima's here to kitten-sit so you play nice, all right?"

The dozen or so kittens smiled cutely. "Yes, Mommy!"

"Bye, kids," Tugger said and pulled Bomba out for their first night out in a *long* time. It was about time he got a break of diaper-changing too.

The kittens smiled at Jemima too. And for some reason, it made her uneasy . . .

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In downtown London, in a small hole-in-the-wall pub called the Plumber's Wrench . . .

"--And so they can't be trusted!"

The other four queens around the table clapped politely. Vicky took a bow and unrolled the agenda.

"Next up on the agenda--the fund-raising . . ."

"What about a margarita-fund?" someone asked.

"Yeah--I'm dry," said another queen who was looking into her empty glass meaningfully. "It's hard to remember why we're so bitter at toms when you're all out of booze . . ."

Vicky buried her head in her paws. "Why me? *Why me*?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The kittens were an active lot . . .

Jemima discovered this the hard way. They had wanted to play "Chase the Yarn". It turned out to be "Chase the Yarn Around Jemima and Make Her Trip".

"Guys? I know you think this is fun but I . . . I er, I've got to go to the bathroom now," she said from the tangle of yarn.

"Go litterbox?" The kittens giggled at each other. "We'll help you!"

And they started to drag her towards the bathroom. (How a bathroom got into an old car is beyond me.) "Bath time for you!"

"Help!" she hollered as they dragged her into the bathroom. "Somebody heeeeeeellllllllpppppppp meeeeeeeee!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In the headquarters of Cats Against Fur For Evil Individuals on Earth (aka CAFFEINE) . . .

"Okay, Jemima won't be able to make it tonight cos she's kitten-sitting. We'll have to go through our plans without her," Electra said to the assembled members.

"But I thought Jem was going to be the one who was going to sneak the stink bombs into the furriers?" Etcetera asked.

"Yes--no one less cute could be able to breach their security," Electra said gravely. "She knows her role already. We're going to have get the stink bombs. Etcetera, it falls to you and your team to raid a joke shop for the appropriate goods."

"Roger that!"

"Now about the raid on that hunting lodge next Tuesday . . ."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And in another corner of the junkyard . . .

"Upside inside out!"

"Livin' La Vida Loca!"

"She will push and pull you down!" Old Deuteronomy sang to the accompaniment by Gus, Jelly, Jenny and Skimble while shaking his tail.

"Livin' La Vida Loca!" they chorused, a trifle unsteadily.

Alonzo and Munkustrap passed by with their load of beer and milk and paused.

"You know 'Zo, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let Mac fix that old karaoke machine for them," Munksutrap said slowly as they watched their elders moshing around like they were still teens.

"At lest it keeps them occupied while they're 'nipped up," Alozno muttered with a small shudder. "Young at heart, my tail! Young when 'nipped is more like it . . ."

They left to the slightly off-key strains of "Shake your bon bon, shake your bon bon . . ." echoing in their ears.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Strolling home into the junkyard that evening, Bomba and Tugger paused outside the "Den" as it was known by most Jellicles. There were about a dozen wires and cables running this way and that and snaking into the Den and out to the tallest junk heap that seemed to have sprouted a satellite dish. Sounds of the wide-screen television could be heard from where they stood outside along with very familiar voices.

"Goal! That was a goal!"

"Pass the catnip!"

"More milk?"

"Come on you Reds!"

"Who would have thought Munku, Mac and 'Zo were such big soccer fans?" Tugger wondered aloud.

Bomba muttered something about toms and balls and they came to their home in the old car.

"Hello? We're home! Jemima?" Bomba called. "Jemima--is everything okay?"

No answer.

"Uh-oh." Tugger and Bomba looked at each other for a moment and ran around searching for the kittens and the sitter.

"Heeeeeeeeelllllllllpppppppppp!"

"Bad kitties! What did you do to Jemima?" Bomba demanded as they burst into the bathroom (if a bathroom could fit into an old car) to find the kittens suspending Jemima over the bathtub with yarn.

"Play bath time!" the kittens squeaked, cutely.

"Naughty kitties--you're not going to play bath time again with the sitter, understand?" Bomba warned them as Tugger managed to untangle Jemima.

"The Kittensitters' Club is going to hear about this . . ." Jemima said after she was freed. She also stayed as far away from the kittens as she could.

"We'll pay you double if you keep it mum."

"Uh-uh . . ."

"Triple?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Just other peaceful night in the junkyard . . .

And then the power blew, shorting out the power on all streets within a two kilometre distance.

Amidst the curses and screams from the junkyard, one voice was heard to say "At least we've still got the catnip . . ."

A pause.

"Hmm . . . True."

"Pass the 'nip, Munku . . ."

"I like it here in the dark, don't you, Tugger?"

"Ooo yeah, babe . . ."

"And we can still sing without the machine!"

Silence.

"All right, be that way! It's *your* loss! We had "Macarena" all set and ready to go!"

The Catnip Stops Here.