Note: The first rant/essay, "How To Break A Date In This Technological World Of Ours," contains very few of the characters common to the other sagas.
the girlfriend
the boyfriend
the guy who's seen her standing there for twenty minutes
her father
her mother
her bratty little brother
Peter, her best friend's boyfriend
Marie, her best friend
the neighbors
the boyfriend's dying grandfather
the boyfriend's best buddy Mitch
the grouchy-looking woman in the Sith Lords Kick Ass shirt
the two guys in the computer printout story: the Sith Academy's Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Maul
the nice flight attendant
Mitch's girlfriend in Australia
Azure Me, our heroine.
River One of my ex-boyfriends
Rant #2
the idiots in Electronics
the electronics-parts idols
Rant #3
chicks who stalk River
guys that Azz was obsessively in love with
River's parents
River's friends
Del River's most obnoxious friend
Hanna, Del's girlfriend
Rant #4
Clem a complete twit, an ex of Azz's
Mary a best friend of Azz's
Mandy near-twin to Azz, girlfriend of Clem, friend and schoolmate of Mary
Clem's mother
Ewan McGregor Notable actor in such flicks as Velvet Goldmine, Trainspotting, and The Phantom Menace
Natalie Portman Queen Amidala in The Phantom Menace
The Phantom Menace A recent Star Wars movie (May 1999) with more hype than the American Super Bowl, visually nice, artistically kinda lousy, but an interesting starting point for the series that will eventually (hope to all gods and Darth Lucas) make lots and lots more sense.
Rant #5
Bernie Lewis a goth/punk poser/loser type
Blew Same as Bernie Lewis, only with unfortunate sexual connotations
Blew's friend
The Stoner Smoker
Officer Krupke The ubiquitous campus cop, slightly sympathetic toward most students, decent to Azz because Azz is a fakey-fakey little suckup
lots of smokers the ones who hang out in front of the Moore Bartlett Skarland complex
Jennie Azz's best friend in the dorms, the best friend of Deadeye DeeDee
Officer Krupke's Backup
Rant #6
Deadeye DeeDee Azure's roommate
the rifle team coach
Possibly Ron rifle team guy #1, skinny, blond
Possibly Scott rifle team guy #2
Possibly Harry rifle team guy #3
the one, the only, rifle team girl
friend of the rifle team girl's in another dorm
Vanilla Jennie's roommate
Vanilla's boyfriend
Dmitri Jennie's off-and-on maybe/sorta boyfriend-type-person/friend-who-is-a-boy
Vanilla's boyfriend's wife
Belinda the 2nd floor RA
Desk Attendant (not Blew)
Campus Police Officer, helpful
Community Service Officer (student cop) used as human shield
Resident Director
Rant #7
Nine Gorillas
The RA from the 3rd floor
a crowd
firemen with equipment to open elevator
friends of gorillas
the videojournalist from the 5th floor
Bob, a gorilla
Richard, a gorilla
Will, a gorilla
King, a gorilla
Will's mom
Richard's Girlfriend a prep
Rant #8
The Evil Roommate a composite character based on the evil roommates of everyone I know
Rant #9
Toby the fiance of Azure
BD a friend of Toby's from work, now a roommate of Toby and Azz
Fossil a new friend of Azz and Toby, now their roommate
Toby's mother a person truly beloved by Toby, Azz, and all other people who know her /sarcasm
The Sea Monkeys about fifteen sea monkeys, or brine shrimp, swimming around in a plastic container with a pirate ship. They belong to Fossil.
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