Bakura, Iraq (BS) -- In what can be best described as yet another horrific American atrocity, Mohammad al-Zarqawi was murdered in cold blood by American troops. Followers of the bold and forward-thinking man stated that he made no provocational actions towards these troops, and described their actions as barbaric and senseless.

"Why would you kill such a man," lamented one follower, "he was only playing with some kittens on the rug at the time! This is a far greater atrocity than Hadditha!"

Several Democrat Congressional and Senatorial representatives have called for immediate hearings to see if the American forces can be charged under UMJC law for the bloodletting, pointing out that these forces in no way tried to negotiate or coax Al-Zarqawi out. Barbara Boxer asked, "Doesn't America DESERVE all the terrorism we are getting? Shouldn't we be HELPING al-Qaeda? We need to destroy this country of ours, this Great Satan!"

As Blackberry devices and cell phones on Capitol Hill hummed with news of the death of terrorist leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi yesterday, Congressional Democrats vowed that despite the loss they would fight on in “the war on the war on terror.”

“Zarqawi will be missed because he put a human face on the futility of the illegal U.S. occupation of Iraq,” said one unnamed lawmaker, who assured a reporter that “Democrats are still optimistic. We’re still looking for the silver lining.”

The family of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi said today they want to bury him in his hometown, and honor him with a State funeral. Various terrorist and Islamist nuts are excepted to attend along with other noteables such as Rep. Jack Murtha, Rep. Pete Stark, Cindy Sheehan, Jane Fonda, Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich.