(Washington,
D.C. 1/14/09) In a short press release issued today, Barack Obama announced his
intention to create a new office to deal with detainees claims of unspecified
torture which occurred during their stay in various camps throughout the
world.
“It is my intention to create a
special department comprised of bi-partisan participants to seriously look into,
consider and act on claims of torture by persons currently being detained on
charges of terrorism. It will be called the Independent Department Investigating
Overt Torture Scenarios (IDIOTS). This bi-partisan Office of IDIOTS will be
comprised of individuals with the intelligence level required to work in this
office while they look into claims of torture.”
“It will be the Office of
IDIOTS who hold hearings on the matter, ensuring fair treatment for detainees.
It will be IDIOTS who will determine levels of compensation for detainees deemed
to be innocent of all charges and finally it will be IDIOTS who will ultimately
determine who should be released. Among those names I’m considering to lead the
IDIOTS are Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein who have both demonstrated the
intelligence level necessary to be successful.”
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