WASHINGTON – The government's popular "cash for clunkers" program has been a great success  after only a matter of days as car shoppers flock to dealerships to take advantage of the rebates.

After the success of the "cash for clunkers" the White House said Thursday it was assessing its options about a new program the administration was considering. The new program is "Cash For Cripples.

"White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said they were working to "assess the situation facing what is obviously an incredibly popular program "Cash For Clunkers" and now introducing "Cash For Cripples.The way the new program would work is people with "Old Folks" can trade them in for a $9500 rebate. These sickly old people in nursing homes at home or wherever would be consider too expensive to be kept alive with expensive medical care..

Press secretary Robert Gibbs said the new program is called "Cash Rebate Advance Person's" (CRAP)
Gates said the adminstration would allow the clunkers to continue being used as long as no money is spent on upkeep and repair. “We will graciously allow them to live out their lives naturally without any life-extending interference” said one member of Congress. “We expect this program to be very popular” said another.

CASH FOR GEEZERS, cash in a geezer