Anti-War Protesters Win -- United States to Reverse Course
| April 21, 2003 | APP: UPIP

APP -- Bagdhad    In a gesture of conciliation to antiwar protesters, the United States government said Tuesday that it would be pulling out of Iraq and reinstating the Saddam Hussein regime.

I think it was Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins who finally convinced us, stated Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, We will be sending a formal apology to Saddam Hussein and taking every action we can to restore this brave, respected, and picked-upon leader. After a brief pause, Rumsfeld said, I might add this: Whoops. Our bad.

The 81st Airborne division will be the first group to unilaterally surrender. Sources in the military state that the division will throw itself on the mercy of Saddam Hussien, hoping for humane treatment and a swift return to the United States after fair war-crimes trials.

When reached for comment, Barbra Streisand remarked, It’s just not enough. We should surrender America to Saddam. Anyone would be better than Bush, and I have a hunch Saddam is a Democrat in his heart.

In a related story, Kofi Annan has said that the US should cover all costs of having Saddam's bio/chem stocks dug up and transported back from Syria. After all, he has the right to defend himself.