THE BLAME GAME! (Justin and Britney Style) Setting:The BLAME GAME courtroom set. The jury consists mainly of disgruntled teenyboppers. Justin is wearing huge black pants with the shirt you see him in up there. Britney is wearing a slutty Catholic school uniform with her hair in braids and fuzzy pink things in her hair.
Judge Reed: Hello, and welcome to today's BLAME GAME! Today we have the case of the Big Headed Afro B-Ball Boy Vs. The Bubble Butted Fake Boobed Hoochie. Let's welcome our blame game counselors Kara McNamara and Jason Winer
Jason: I am here to prove that she is a disgusting whore who took advantage of my client.
Kara: I am here to prove that..um..he stole my clients bleach!
Judge Reed: (Banging gavel on table) Okay, our counselors will have 90 seconds to prove that their clients, Justin and Britney, are not to blame... Jason, lets start with you...
•Jason: Okay, Justin. Why don't you tell our jury how you met Britney?
•Justin: Well, it's like this right? I wuz on dat show the Mickey Mouse Club, and all da sudden one day she be all up one me and I was like say what???
•Jason: And what was your impression of Little Miss Britney?
•Justin: Well, I was like "Whoa whatta ho!", yeah! And I figured that maybe I could get some, but I ain't know what a little disease infested whore she was.
•Jason: So who made the first move?
•Justin: She did. All da sudden she was all up in my junk. I was like yo, dis ain't crunk, but I had hormones and you know I wanted some of dat!!!
•Jason: So, what you're saying is that you tried to resist Miss Britney, but she continually came on to you?
•Justin: Yeah, dat's it...(Jason Bangs thingie that stops clock)
•Kara: Britney, you are such an idiot! Why don't you tell us about your first date?
•Britney: Oh, like okay! So anyways, I like asked Justin out on a date with me, and I like told him that I was like going to like you know do it you know? So anyways, his like mom drove us to a basketball game and I was like Oh My God, I love basketball, but I really didn't! I only said that like because Justin loves it, because I like love Justin and stuff! Uh, huh. Did you know that I like used to tour with NSYNC?
•Jason: Well, um...Justin, why don't you tell us about the first date?
•Justin: Well, it was like I was goin to dis b-ball game in da first place and Britney said dat if I didn't take her wit me, she'd like sit on me, so I was like aight. But when we were there she ate 6 hot dogs and I was like DAYUM! She was a freakin' whore but I wanted some, so I was like aight, I guess this would be okay! Keep in mind, I had no taste back then! So I went along wit' dis...(Buzzer Buzzes)
•Kara: Okay, Brit. Why don't you tell us about the breakup?
•Britney: Okay, well like, we went out for like 3 months and then all of a sudden Justin was like you know I hate you and he just left and so we broke up because he said I was a whore and he found out I was like sleeping with a bunch of other guys. I had to keep my job!!! (Buzzer buzzes)
•Judge Reed: Well, that was um...interesting. Well, we'll be back for the You Did It, Now Admit It! round!
•Judge Reed: Welcome to the You Did It, Now Admit It round. Each contestant will be dared to reveal one dirty secret to our jury. They can reveal their secret or plead the fifth. The contestant who admits the most will get to reveal their special witness! Britney, let's start with you!!!
•Britney: (Struggling to read) Justin, you are such a basketball freak! Why don't you admit what is in your "B-Ball File"?
•Justin: I'll admit it! I once stayed home to watch a basketball tournament instead of going out with her. Once you've seen one skank you've seen them all! Britney, you are such a fake. Why don't you admit what's in your "Plastic Skank File"?
•Britney: Like, uh huh! I'll admit it. I've had plastic boobs since I was 9 years old. Plus, my lips are silicon injected and my hair is all a weave. Justin, you are so selfish! Why don't you tell everyone what's in your "Bleach Files"?
•Justin: I'll admit it! Once she asked to use my bleach and I said no, because I needed it. You gots to keep the girlies happy y'know? Britney, you are so cheap. Why don't you admit what's in your "Clothing File"?
•Britney: Okay, I'll admit it! Sometimes, I dig through garbage cans for myclothes. Doesn't everybody? Justin you such a wimp! Admit what is in your "Fake-and-Bake" file!
•Justin: Hellz y'all, I'll admit it! She wanted me to to put on that fake tan with her, but I said NO, because I didn't want to look orange like her! Britney, you are so dirty! Why don't you admit what's in your "Razor Files"?
•Britney: I'll admit it! I have facial hair and I shave it! What's wrong withit? ( Crowd in background going "ewwww")
•Judge Reed: Well, since you both admitted the same amount of embarrassing secrets, you each get a witness. Unfortunantly, Britney doesn't have any friends, so we can't continue with this so it wouldn't be fair. now it's time for the Cross Ex round of the game, after this break!
•Judge Reed: Welcome back, now each counselor will question their opposition!
•Kara: Justin, why don't you tell us about VERONICA?
•Justin: Who? oh Yeah I went out with her after I dated Britney. Even I couldn't handle 2 skanks at once!
•Kara: So, why did you break up with Britney.
•Justin: It's pretty obvious!
•Kara: Yes, I know....I mean, no why?
•Justin: She be a skank and a ho. I don't need none of dat!!!
•Kara: Okay fine!!! (Hit's buzzer thing)
•Jason: So Brit? Have you had any other boyfriend since Justin?
•Britney: Well, does my cousin count?
•Jason: NO!!!! Ewww....continues to vomit for the remainder of the 90 secondsand the buzzer goes off!
•Kara: umm...Justin, Britney said she saw the name "Lynn" on your caller ID alot. Who is this?
•Justin: Dat's my mom yo!
•Kara: Oh, I have nothing...(Buzzer goes off)
•Judge Reed: There was one part of our case the viewers didn't get to see. When our contestants came in, the jury decided on who was to blame based on looks alone. And the result of this are: Justin 23% and Britney 77%. Now here's a commercial part!
•Judge Reed:Okay, now it's time for the Kareoke round of testimony!
•Kara: Even thoughh my client did cheat she still wants Justin to give her another chance. So, she will sing her own song "...Baby, One More Time!". (the crowd ringes and puts on ear plugs)
•Britney: Oh baybee baybee....(Sings song and shatters glass in kareoke chamber)
•Jason: Justin, is scared and offended by Britney's obssession with him, and now my client will sing "Beat It", by Michael Jackson!
Justin: Beat it, beat it.....(Sounds beautiful...Just thought you'd like to know!!!)
•Judge Reed: Okay, vote now. Push the button on the left if you think Justin is to blame and the button on the right if you think Britney is to blame! Allright, the jury had decided and here are the results. With a vote of..oh my gosh...100% to 0%, the jury has decided that Britney is to blame for the breakup!
•Jason: Now, Britney has 15 seconds to beg for forgiveness. Justin can choose to accept her apology or he can snap her picture with the BLAME GAME camera, and the picture will be published in Entertainment Weekly under the heading "Do not date this BLAME GAME loser!". Britney, you have 15 seconds...
•Britney: Justin, like oh my god. I am so sorry! What can I say? (Begins to sing..well sort of...) You're all I ever wanted...
•Justin: (While taking picture) Damn, first you cheat on me and now you butcher my song. No way chica!
•Judge Reed: Well, Justin has taken vindication! Thank you for watching THE BLAME GAME!
