1.  Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and
    scream "Oh my God!  They've found me!" and bolt.
  
   2.  Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop
    and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
  
   3.  When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on
    duty that you can't get the damn thing to work.  After he/she's turned it
    on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good
    half hour.
  
   4.  Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to
    you evilly.
  
   5.  Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to
    different screen than the one it's set up with.
  
   6.  Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it
    at the highest volume possible over & over again.
  
   7.  Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by
    something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
  
   8.  Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into
    top-secret Pentagon files.
  
   9.  Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
  
   10.  Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn
    it on.
  
   11.  Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have
    it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
  
   12.  Type on VAX for a while.  Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes
    at everything bad about your life.  Then stop and continue typing.
  
   13.  Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if
    they're crazy while typing.
  
   14.  Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before
    starting.
  
   15.  Ask around for a spare disk.  Offer $2.  Keep asking until
    someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I
    forgot."
  
   16.  Every time you press Return and there is processing time
    required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!"
     when it finishes.
  
   17.  "DISK FIGHT!!!"
  
   18.  Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you
    (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new
    friends).
  
   19.  Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets.
    Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
  
   20.  If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The
    Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
  
   21.  Draw a pictue of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it
    to your monitor.  Try to seduce it.  Act like it hates you and then
    complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
  
   22.  Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive,
    when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
  
   23.  When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly
    where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
  
   24.  Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all
    done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
  
   25.  Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely.  After
    doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next
    to you.
  
   26.  Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person
    next to grinding.  Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the
    person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is
    far more effective to let them linger.
  
   27.  If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split
    ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
  
   28.  Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family
    on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
  
   29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks.  Remove shoes
    and place them of top of the monitor.  Remove socks layer by layer and
    drape them around the monitor.  Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic
    beauty of cotton on plastic.
  
   30.  Take the keyboard and sit under the computer.  Type up your
    paper like this.  Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the    
    bad working conditions.
  
   31.  Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!"
    and continue working.
  
   32.  Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
  
   33.  Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A
    Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.).  Whenever you hit a key, hum its note
    loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
  
   34.  Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
  
   35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse
    me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
  
   36.  Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
  
   37.  When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that
    sometimes the old ways are best.
  
   38.  Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
  
   39.  Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again
    until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar
    so your fill isn't affected).  Then look at your neighbor's keyboard.
    Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word.
    While you do this, ask:
        "Does *your* delete key work?"  Shake your head, and resume
    hitting the space bar on your keyboard.  Keep doing this until you've
    deleted about a page of your neighbor's document.  Then, suddenly
    exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole
    time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!"  Print out your document
    and leave.
  
   40.  Remove your disk from the drive and hide it.  Go to the lab
    monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk.  (For special
    effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive.  Claim that
   the computer is drooling.)
  
   41.  Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really
    puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly.  Keep
    laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
  
   42. Point at the screen.  Chant in a made up language while making
      elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two.  Press return or the
    mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!"  peek up from under the
    table, walk back to the computer and say.  "Oh, good.  It worked this
    time," and calmly start to type again.
  
   43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
  
   44. See who's online.  Send a total stranger a talk request.  Talk
    to them like you've known them all your lives.  Hangup before they geta
    chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
  
   45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound
    effects.  Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
  
   46. Pull out a pencil.  Start writing on the screen.  Complain that
    the lead doesn't work.
  
   47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of
    flowers in your hair.  Smile incessantly.  Type a sentence, then laugh
    happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen.  Repeat
    this after every sentence.  As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the
    keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and
    walk out.
  
   48.  Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!",
    then calmly sit down and begin to type.
  
   49.   Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker
    chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and
    say "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile
    for the next week".
  
   50.  Two words:  Tesla Coil.

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