Things We Will Never See On Star Trek
- A redshirt sneaks down a deserted corridor, turns a corner, and suddenly has a surprise birthday party.
- A redshirt manages to avoid the thrown knife, phaser shot, arrow, or whatever.
- McCoy says, "On second thought, maybe I'm a carpenter and NOT a doctor after all."
- Kirk meets a woman whom he's known for years but never had sex with.
- An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer, only to find it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
- Sulu and Chekov get to do something interesting.
- Kirk says, "Uhura, I'm frightened."
- Kirk gets Court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.
- A Klingon says to a companion, "Hey, I like you."
- Harry Mudd manages to turn a healthy profit selling something legal.
- An android race turns out to be completely friendly and not threatening or menacing in any way.
- Some patient of McCoy's who's NOT a central character lives.
- The crew of the Enterprise disperse, Sulu gets his own ship, and nobody suffers major emotional trauma.
- A major character dies and isn't resurrected.
- The a mysterious,giant threatening object is on a direct course for some world other than Earth.
- McCoy says, "He'll live, Jim."
- The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected to the late 20th century.
- Riker manages to avoid seeming like a William Shatner clone.
- Somebody says, "You know, the Enterprise-D looks really stupid! What is it, a `Close Encounters' reject???"
- The captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
- Some of the crew visits the holodeck and it works properly.
- Artificial intelligence and android technology make human exploration of the galaxy obsolete.
- The deflector shields hold through the duration of the battle.
- The Enterprise runs into a energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
- A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
- A power surge on the bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly trained and competent engineering staff.
- The crew of the Enterprise is afflicted by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked enterpise sick bay.
- The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life-form wearing a funny hat.
- The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly alright.
- Picard ignores Troi and blows the enemy out of the sky, in spite of their "distressed" feelings.
- Data figures out that being a robot is good.
- Nobody uses the holodeck for a week.
- The Enterprise encounters nothing analogous to human society in its barbaric days.
- The crew ejects the ship tailor, gets someone who makes jackets long enough.
- Dr. Crusher uses the wrong skin replacing magic-ray gun. LaForge is white.
- Someone gets drunk and pees all over himself in 10 Forward.
- Troi is able to explain her accent.
- Picard explains his accent.
- The crew finds a reason for not letting the computer do everything.
- The gravity generator goes out and the crew floats around the bridge.
- Troi makes a funny face when Geordi explains that the enterprise's source of drinking water is recycled human waste.
- The crew beams down to a planet that requires them to wear space suits or that has a gravity so strong it prevents them from moving around.
- An information exchange with a vastly superior race directly leads to new technology and an improvement in the quality of life in follow-on episodes.
- An unexpected failure in the transporter makes 17 identical copies of Picard. They all get along fine.
- An entire year goes by without the enterprise encountering any relatives (daughter, sister, etc) of Tasha Yar.
- A group of nearby spaceships are not all oriented exacly like each other, in an upwards position.
- Riker loses weight from the previous year's episodes.
- A Star Fleet admiral gives Picard orders that present no moral dilema for him and that he is glad to go along with.
- A crewman getting addicted to living out violent and or sexual fantasies on the holodeck and having to be forceably removed.
- A conference on some planet that doesn't involve running through kidnap attempts and dodging time warps to go to/from.
- Any member of the crew who isn't part of the bridge crew or happens to be in a room or walking through a corridor when a member of the bridge crew is there.
- Anyone who works for a living.
- Any horribly disfiguring disease or accident that can not be instantly and completely recovered from.
- A space battle where the two ships don't happen to occupy the same shot.
- Anyone yawning, stretching, scratching, picking their nose, going to the bathroom, taking a bath, adjusting their underwear, burping or otherwise. All of these things, like the need for money, have been eliminated in the future.