Taglines
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Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
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Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
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Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
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I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
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We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
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Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
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Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
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Did anyone see my lost carrier?
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Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
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I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
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He who laughs last thinks slowest!
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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
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A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
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Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
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Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
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Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
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I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.
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Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
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Double your drive space - delete Windows!
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What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
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If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
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"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
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Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
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Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
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I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
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Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
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I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming,
terrified, like his passengers.
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Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
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The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
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When there's a will, I want to be in it.
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Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
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Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
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I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
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We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
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All generalizations are false, including this one.
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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
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"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
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Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER
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"640K ought to be enough for anybody." Bill Gates '81
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"90% of all statistics are made up"
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"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
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"A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over." - R.
Frost
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"A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience." -Doug
Larson
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"Apple" (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve
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"Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
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"Bad knee, gotta run" - Pat Buchanan to his draft board
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"Beam me aboard, Scotty." "Sure. Will a 2x10 do?"
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"Beulah, peel me a grape."
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"Bother," said Pooh as the brakes went out!
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"Build a watch in 179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg.
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"C++" should have been called "D"
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"COINCIDENCE" happens.
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"Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!"
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"Careful. We don't want to learn from this." -- Calvin
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"Charlie was a Chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought was
H20 was H2SO4."
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"Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?" -- Calvin
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"Every time I've built character, I've regretted it."
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"Freedom defined is freedom denied." -The Illuminatus
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"Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit suicide?"
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"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw..."
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"Hmm... How *did* they finally kill Frosty?" -- Hobbes
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"Human equality is a contingent fact of history." -Steven Jay Gould
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"I believe OS/2...to be the most important OS...of all time" Gates '87
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"I tried to think but nothing happened!" - Curly
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"I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV"
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"I'm not smart enough to lie" - Ronald Reagan
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"If I knew what I was doing...I'd be dangerous..."
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"If the shoe fits, buy it." Imelda Marcos
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"Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher
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"Is" is the verb for when you don't want a verb.
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"It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the end."-D.
Adams
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"It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild
dogs"
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"Keyboard? How quaint!" - Scotty
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"Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke" - Obi Wan Gates
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"Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship out of this Universe!"
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"Off the keyboard, thru the router, over the bridge, nothing but net!"
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"Quotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting."
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"Remember when we said there was no future? Well, this is it." -- Blank
Regk
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"Stupid" is a boundless concept.
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"Suicide Hotline...please hold."
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"The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein
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"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." - Mark Twain
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"The sun ain't yellow, its chicken." -Bob Dylan
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"There are lies, damned lies, and statistics." -Mark Twain
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"There's someone in my head, but its not me." -Pink Floyd
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"This is a job for.. AACK! WAAUGHHH!! ...someone else." -
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"To err is human, to forgive....$5.00"
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"Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!" -Yoda-
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"Vote for Perot" - Bumper sticker attached with Velcro
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"We are on an irreversable trend towards more feedom and democracy - but
that could change" -D. Quayle
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"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" -Steven Wright
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#1 OS/2 tip: Drag the Windows folder to the shreader!!!
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#include std/disclaimer.h
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$$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt
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'Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all
doubt
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(((((This tagline in Stereo where available)))))
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(A)bort (R)etry (C)ut Your Throat.....
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(A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (U)nplug & (S)ell.
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(A)bort (R)etry (P)ull leg (H)ot boot (S)wipe tagline!
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(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
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(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
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(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
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(You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake)
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(c) Copywight 1995 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
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* OLX 3 * Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
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*Four hours* to bury a cat? Yes - it wouldn't keep still
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.. Bugs come in through open Windows.
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... "I'll be Bach." - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger
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... All the world's a stage, and I missed rehearsal.
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... Bill Clinton isn't slick. He's just a liar.
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... Clinton Economics: If 1+2=3 then 4+5=6.
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... Clinton excuse #15: Hey - I just do what the wife says
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... Clinton excuse #18: You took that seriously? Har har
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... Clinton sandwich: $5 of baloney and $20 in taxes
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... Getting the truth from Clinton is like nailing Jello
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... It's tourist season in Florida, bag limit two.
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... KARAOKE is Japanese for "Tone Deaf"
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... Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant
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.....If it ain't broke, fix it anyway just to screw it up!
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...I'm sorry, Reality is not in service at this time.
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...On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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..Windows NT Performance", on the next "In Search Of"
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/EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can
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1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator.
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10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schitzo!
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1200 bps used to seem so fast
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186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
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1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts
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2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).
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2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)
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3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
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43% of all statistics are worthless.
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43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr...
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5 schizophrenics agree!
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50 states, and I had to pick this one...
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668 - Neighbor of the Beast
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90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
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<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
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==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross ==/==/==/==
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From my brain, an organ with a mind of it's own.
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From the Department of Redundancy Dept.
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A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds...
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A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept.
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A Metaphor is like a Simile.
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A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
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A big enough hammer fixes anything
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A bird in the hand can be messy.
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A camel is a horse planned by committee.
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A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
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A closed mind gathers no intelligence
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A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain.
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A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
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A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
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A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.
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A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
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A day not wasted is a day wasted!
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A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
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A day without sunshine is like night.
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A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
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A dirty book is rarely dusty.
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A fool and his money are soon SYSOP.
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A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.
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A fool must now and then be right by chance.
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A friend in need is a pest indeed...
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A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.
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A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
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A half moon is better than no moon at all.
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A harp is a nude piano.
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A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
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A library is an arsenal of liberty.
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A life lived in fear is half a life lived.
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A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
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A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
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A man needs a good memory after he has lied.
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A man's best friend is his dogma.
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A man, a plan, a canal. Suez!
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A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
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A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot..
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A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
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A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
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A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.
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A perversion of nature....how exciting!
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A pessimist is never disappointed.
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A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice.
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A rolling stone gathers momentum.
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A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
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A single fact can spoil a good argument.
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A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
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A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
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A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
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A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won.
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ASCII and ye shall receive.
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ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI!
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Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.
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Afraid of heights? Not me, I'm afraid of widths!
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Agnodyslexic plea: "why ME, dog?"
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Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
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Alex, I'll take "Things Only I Know" for $1000.
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All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.
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All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money can't make me happy.
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All I need to know I learned from my cat.
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All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
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All generalizations are bad.
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All generalizations are false, including this one.
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All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
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All in a day's work for..."Confuse-a-Cat"!
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All in all it's just a... 'nother brick in the wall!
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All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson
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All programers are optimists.
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All that glitters has a high refractive index.
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All the easy problems have been solved.
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All things are green unless they are not.
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All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
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All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
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All work and no play, will make you a manager.
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All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.
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Almost went crazy. Would have been a real short trip.
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Alone: In bad company.
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Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
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Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
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Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
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Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
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Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
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Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
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America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
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Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
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An Elephant; A Mouse built to government specifications.
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An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's really in a rut.
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An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
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An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
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An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
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An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
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An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
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An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills.
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
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An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.
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And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
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And he disappeared in a puff of logic.
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And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...
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And it's only ones and zeros.
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And now for something completely different...
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And now for something completely the same...
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And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
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And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, not just EXE & COM
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Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
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Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
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Another case of Cherry Coke down the programming hatch!
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Answers: $1 * Correct answers: $5 * Dumb looks: Free! *
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Antidisestablishmentarianism!
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Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
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Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
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Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there
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Any wire cut to length will be too short.
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Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit.
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Are we having Fahrvergnugen yet??
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Are ya feelin' lucky, punk?!! - Harry Callahan
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Are you really American if your ethnicity has to be hyphenated?
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Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
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Armageddon means never having to say you're sorry.
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Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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As I said before, I never repeat myself.
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As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.
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As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716
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As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
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Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
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Assumption is the mother of all screwups...
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Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.
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Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy
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B.Gates : quality software :: R.McDonald : gourmet cuisine
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BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
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Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
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Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
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Bad Command:(A)bort (R)etry (T)ake RAM hostage
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Bad breath is better than no breath.
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Bald: follicularly challenged.
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Barium: what you do with dead chemists.
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Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus.
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Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
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Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!)
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Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3.1.
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Better ... stronger ... faster!
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Beware of Geeks bearing gifs.
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Beware of barking dogs that bite.
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Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers
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Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing
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Bill Clinton is the Lyin' King. ( Now playing nation wide )
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Bill Clinton thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds.
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Bill Clintoon: The prince of Dorkness, a caricature of a president
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Black Holes are Out of Sight
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Black holes really suck...
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Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!
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Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for ye shall not be dissapointed.
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Bliss *IS* ignorance
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Bo Knows Taglines!
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Bo Peep did it for the insurance.
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Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
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Borderline psychotic with hermit-like tendencies.
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Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Bored? Drive the speed limit... in your garage.
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Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3
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Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER
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Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
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Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
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Brain dysfunction detected....
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Brain over - Insert coin
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Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
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Break up a relationship - buy a computer!!
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Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
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Britannia waives the rules.
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Bug off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
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Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
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Bugs, like coathangers, breed if unobserved.
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Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers
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Bullets speak louder than reason.
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Bumper sticker on a hearse: I'd rather be breathing
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Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound.
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Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise
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Bus error (Passengers dumped)
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Busier than a 1 legged man in an butt-kicking contest.
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But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!!
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But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car!
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But my little voice TOLD me to do it!
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But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?
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But then again, I like cold toilet seats.
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But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?
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Buy American!
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Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More.
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Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife
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By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!
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C programmer run C programmer crash C programmer quit
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C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN
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CAUTION: RIDER MAY BAIL AT ANY TIME
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CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom.
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CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
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CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy.
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CEO of Dementia and Other Meaningless Entities.
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CHIP: One California hi-way patrolman.
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CODING: AN addictive Drug.
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COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
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CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress
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CRASH: Normal termination.
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CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART!
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CURIOSITY? Nah. I got THAT cat with a lawnmower.
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CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK: Stocktaking at a Bike shop
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California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected
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Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
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Can you find the mispelled word in hear?
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Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?
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Can you see the REAL ME, can ya?!?! CAN YA??!?!!?!?!?!?!
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Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
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Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly!
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Card-carrying member of the cultural elite.
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Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities.
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Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.
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Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
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Caution: Contents under pressure
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Caution: Hungry Dieter May bite if provoked
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Caveat emptor, no deposit no return, do not remove.
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Celibacy is not hereditary.
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Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
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Chernobyl used Windows
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Chess players mate better.
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Chicago only promises what OS/2 DELIVERS!
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Chicago runs best on a VCR.
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Chicago, an operating system Pair-of-Dimes shift!
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Chicago... The biggest thing since New Coke!
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Chicago: NT deja vu!
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Chicago? Been There,... Done That 2 Years Ago! I run OS/2!
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Chicago? Been there. I'm ready to travel at WARP speed!
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Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators.
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Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.
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Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
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Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.
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Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
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City Planners do it with their eyes shut.
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Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!
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Clark Kent is a transvestite.
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Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events.
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Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
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Cleanliness is next to impossible.
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Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
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Clinton is one Bill, George Bush can't veto...
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Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis & Butthead are to television.
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Clones are people two.
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Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!
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Close your eyes and press escape three times.
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Closed Hearing for the Caption Impaired...
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Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam.
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Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
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Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far!
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Coming Soon!! Mouse Support for Edlin!
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Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
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Commence strategic maneuvers at audible command signal. 5, 4, 3...
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Committees keep minutes and lose hours.
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Common sense isn't...
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Communism is like a mouth on a lollipop
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Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.
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Computational Physicist and all around nice guy.
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Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
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Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
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Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
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Computers Rule 01001111 01001011
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Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
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Computers are useless; they can only give answers.
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Computers run on faith, not electrons.
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Condense soup, not books!
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Conformity obstructs progress.
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Confucius say too much.
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Confucius say: I didn't say that!
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Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around.
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Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.
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Confuse People: Quote from the wrong message!
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Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute
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Confusion not only reigns, it pours.
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Consolations, Consultations, Conflagrations.
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Constant change is here to stay.
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Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping.
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Converse with any plankton lately?
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Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association
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Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)?
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Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
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Couldn't myself have better it said.
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Courage atrophies from lack of use.
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Crime does not pay...as well as politics.
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Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
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Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
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Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs...Boy do I love Congress
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Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
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Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
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D.A.D.D. - Daddies Against Dirty Diapers
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D.A.M. - Mothers Against Dyslexia
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D.A.M.M - Drunks Against Mad Mothers
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DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.
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DANGER! Computer store ahead, hide wallet!
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DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
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DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
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DEVICE=EXXON.SYS may mess up your environment
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DILATE: To live longer.
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DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young.
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DIVORCE =system("echo y| erase \wife\*.*" );
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DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality
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DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAGLINE (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW)!
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DO {nothing} WHILE (HearFromMe==0)
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DOC files? We don't need NO STINKIN' DOC FILES!
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DOS 5.0 Yesterday's operating system, today!
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DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.
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DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename, Dude!"
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DOS-O-MANIA : Reboot is not kicking your computer again
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DOS-O-MANIA : Root is not the book Alex Haley wrote.
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DOWN WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
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Daddy, what does "Formatting Drive C:" mean?
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Dain Bramaged.
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Dang this hobby is expensive!
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Dangerous exercise: Jumping to conclusions.
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Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
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Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
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Dawson's First Law: You don't have enough outlets.
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Death benefits = oxymoron.
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Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats.
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Death is God's way of dropping carrier.
-
Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?'
-
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
-
Death sneaks up on you as a windshield sneaks up on a bug.
-
Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
-
Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
-
Delivered by Electronic Sled-Dogs.....Woof!
-
Democrats Call for Amnesty, Reduced Sentences Likely.
-
Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split.
-
Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
-
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
-
Did I just step on someone's toes again?
-
Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
-
Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
-
Die Yuppie Scum.
-
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
-
Difference between Jane Fonda & Bill Clinton? Jane went to Vietnam
-
Digression is education.
-
Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
-
Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
-
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
-
Diplomacy is the ability to let someone else have your way.
-
Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
-
Dirty deeds - DONE DIRT CHEAP!
-
Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions.
-
Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal.
-
Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
-
Disks travel in packs.
-
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
-
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
-
Do I mind if you smoke? No. Do you mind if I FART?
-
Do fish get thirsty?
-
Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
-
Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
-
Do not put statements in the negative form.
-
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
-
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
-
Do the joke. Get the laugh. Move on.
-
Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you!
-
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
-
Do you know the way to San Jose?
-
Doctor Who for president
-
Doctor, my brain hurts!
-
Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
-
Does Bill Clinton think Elvis is alive?
-
Does killing time damage eternity?
-
Does the Enterprise use DOS v2356.0?
-
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
-
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
-
Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.
-
Dogs crawl under Gates, software under Windows.
-
Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
-
Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss
-
Don't ask me, I only work here.
-
Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!
-
Don't be a sexist, broads hate that.
-
Don't be afraid to drive a nail in the wood!
-
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
-
Don't blame me, I voted for Mickey Mouse.
-
Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs.
-
Don't byte off more than you can multiplex.
-
Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!
-
Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
-
Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
-
Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!
-
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
-
Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!
-
Don't let school interfere with your education.
-
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
-
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
-
Don't mess with Murphy.
-
Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. ... ALL RIGHT, NOW PANIC
-
Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
-
Don't press the keys so hard!
-
Don't read everything you believe.
-
Don't rush me. I get paid by the hour.
-
Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace.
-
Don't start with me. You know how I get.
-
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
-
Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely
-
Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros.
-
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
-
Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure...
-
Don't try to saw sawdust.
-
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
-
Don't use no double negatives.
-
Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
-
Down with categorical imperative!
-
Down with ignurance!
-
Downgrade your system for only 89 dollars! Install Windows!
-
Dragons love you. You're crunchy and good with ketchup.
-
Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
-
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing
-
Drilling for oil is boring.
-
Drink wet cement, and get completely stoned.
-
Drive A: format failure, formatting C: instead...
-
Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream
-
Dropped from my peeling lips like lousy fruit.
-
Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
-
Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me.
-
Dying is no excuse. Nixon in 96.
-
Dyslexics are persona au gratin.
-
Dyslexics have more fnu.
-
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
-
EMS: Enhanced Money Scam
-
ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
-
ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: {SMACK} C:\>
-
EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle.
-
Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!
-
Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body.
-
Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ...
-
Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy
-
Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
-
Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
-
Ego Gratification through Violence
-
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
-
Email me the rules, please!
-
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
-
Enjoy me, I may never pass this way again.
-
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
-
Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim!
-
Enter that again, just a little slower.
-
Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
-
Eschew obfuscation!
-
Even in this corner of the galaxy, Captain, 2+2=4 ... Spock
-
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
-
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the middle of the desert
-
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
-
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
-
Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
-
Every man's work is a portrait of himself.
-
Every purchase has its price.
-
Every why hath a wherefore.
-
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
-
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
-
Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film!
-
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid
-
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
-
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
-
Everyone's expendable...and no one has a real friend
-
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
-
Everything in our favor was against us.
-
Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.
-
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
-
Evil always triumphs over good, because good is STUPID!
-
Exceeding the legal fun limit on a regular basis
-
Excellent time to become a missing person.
-
Excuse me while I dance a little jig of despair
-
Excuse me while I sharpen my tongue.
-
Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high...
-
Experience: a name everyone gives to his mistakes.
-
Exploding piglets!!! My gosh, it's raining bacon!
-
Exxon Suxx.
-
F.A.R.T....Fathers Against Radical Teenagers
-
FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue...
-
FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
-
FILE COPIED. I THINK?
-
FLOPPY DISK: Serious curvature of the spine.
-
FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
-
FORD: The Heartbreak of today's Chevrolet!
-
Fact is solidified opinion
-
Facts Just Get In The Way And Impede Progress.
-
Facts are stubborn things.
-
Fad: In one era and out the other
-
Familiarity breeds attempt
-
Familiarity breeds children.
-
Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it.
-
Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh.
-
Famous last words - You and what army?
-
Faster than a speeding ticket!
-
Fat Wars: May the Sauce Be With You.
-
Fat person: Nutritional Overachiever
-
Fatal Error Using Mouse. Replace and Bury Operator.
-
Features should be discovered, not documented.
-
Feel lucky???? Update your software!
-
Felines... nothing more than felines...
-
Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate.
-
Fife. n. Small shrill instrument that rhymes with wife.
-
Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.
-
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
-
Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition
-
First thing you do is shoot all the lawyers
-
Fish and visitors stink in three days.
-
Flames to /dev/null/here/is/a/quarter/now/go/buy/a/clue.
-
Flaming nuclear death to Smurfs
-
Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself.
-
Floggings will continue until morale improves.
-
Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.
-
Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do
-
Follow-ups to alt.nobody.really.cares
-
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
-
Fools rush in where Fools have been before!
-
Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold
-
For Sale: Slightly used message. Enquire within.
-
For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country.
-
For discussion only. Not to be relied upon.
-
For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
-
For people who like peace and quiet: A phoneless cord!
-
For sale, Toilet-seat cover. Barely used.
-
For the finest in brain candy.
-
Forget the Joneses...I can't keep up with the SIMPSONS!
-
Forget the computer! Where's my abacus??
-
Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram.
-
Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
-
Four minus two is one and the same.
-
Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with "1-900"
-
Free Nelson Mandela, while stocks last!
-
Free advice is worth what you pay for it
-
Free your mind ... the rest will follow!
-
Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.
-
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
-
Friendly fire - ISN'T !
-
Friends are Friends, regardless of their baud rate!
-
Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
-
Friends don't let friends drive naked.
-
Friends encourage friends to use Windows - under OS/2!
-
Friendship is one soul in two bodies.
-
Frost
-
Funny, only sensible people agree with me.
-
GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.
-
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
-
Gargle twice daily - see if your neck leaks.
-
Geez if you belive in honkus.
-
Genealogy = A DNA square-dance in the Thighlight Zone
-
General Failure reading John Dvorak
-
General stupidity error reading drive C:
-
Geoff, Brett and Todd...the BO-DYNASTY!!!
-
George Orwell was an optimist.
-
Get OS/2 2.0 - The best Windows tip around!
-
Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up.
-
Get the facts first - you can distort them later!
-
Get your filthy hands off my dessert!
-
Gimme back my face! You're getting it ugly.
-
Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
-
Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.
-
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
-
Go Lemmings, Go!!!
-
Go shopping. Buy Stuff. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
-
God created cats so that men could learn to understand women
-
God does not play dice.
-
God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
-
Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.
-
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
-
Good day to let down old friends who need help.
-
Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!
-
Goodness has NOTHING to do with it.....
-
Gotta love me!
-
Grab your helmet, get your bike, it's SHOWTIME!
-
Graduate Of The Uncle Fester & Keith Moon School of hair styling
-
Gravity brings me down
-
Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks.
-
Great minds travel in the same sewers.
-
Greed is good! Greed is right! Greed works!
-
Grow your own dope... plant a man
-
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
-
Grub first, then ethics.
-
Gun control is being able to hit your target!
-
Guns don't kill people... death does.
-
Guns don't kill people..., I kill people!
-
H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
-
HAL 9000: Dave. Put down those Windows disks, Dave. DAVE!
-
Hackito ergo sum.
-
Hailing frequencies open, Captain.
-
Hand me that crowbar... I must pry out this bullet.
-
Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror.
-
Happiness is a warm gun.
-
Happiness is a warm modem
-
Happiness is finding special characters
-
Happiness is not a destination. It's the trip.
-
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.
-
Happiness is...receiving YOUR posts!!!!
-
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
-
Hard work must have killed someone!
-
Has it ever rained cats and dogs?
-
Hasta la vista, Baby!
-
Have Tardis, will travel.
-
Have an adequate day.
-
Have cursor, will curse.
-
Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing.
-
Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?
-
Have you seen Quasimoto? I have a hunch he's back!
-
Having Windows problems? Dial 1-800-3-IBM-OS2 for fast relief!
-
Having two bathrooms ruins the capacity to co-operate.
-
He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly
-
He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
-
He who Laughs, Lasts.
-
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
-
He who asks timidly makes denial easy.
-
He who dies with the most access, wins.
-
He who dies with the most toys... is *still* DEAD!
-
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
-
He who hesitates is constipated.
-
He who laughs last is S-L-O-W.
-
He who laughs last probably made a backup.
-
He who lives by the sword laughs last.
-
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
-
He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
-
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
-
He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet.
-
He's dim, Jed
-
He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.
-
Heads I win... DITTO tails
-
Health food makes me sick.
-
Heisenberg slept here, I think.
-
Help endangered species - adopt a KGB operative.
-
Help fight continental drift.
-
Help stamp out mental illness, or I'll kill you!
-
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
-
Help! I'm lost somewhere in the Generation Gap.
-
Help! I've been stuck in here for years and years...
-
Help! Police! That guy stole my .sig! STOP!!! THIEF!!!
-
Help!!! I'm falling and I can't click out!!!
-
Help, I'm slipping into the Twilight Zone!
-
Here today, gaunt tomorrow.
-
Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone!
-
Hey! This is a morgue, not an amusement park!
-
Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!
-
Hey, CServe/Unisys! Stick it where the sun don't shine!
-
Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see?
-
Hi! I can't remember your name either.
-
Hi, I'm from Corporate. I'm here to help you.
-
Hi. I'll be your tagline for this evening.
-
High message: 9434567. Message last read: 9.
-
Hills weed out the weak. Darwin would argue this is good.
-
Hindsight is always 20:20.
-
Hindsight is an exact science.
-
Hm..what's this red button fo:=/07Hmm...Nice tagline. SUCKER!!!
AH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
-
Hollow chocolate has no calories
-
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
-
Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER
-
Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
-
Honeymoon: time between "I do" and "you'd better"
-
Honk if you love cheeses.
-
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
-
Honk, if you have slept with Clinton.
-
Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
-
Housework done properly, can kill you
-
Houston! do you read.
-
How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star?
-
How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
-
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
-
How do I set my laser printer for stun?
-
How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm!
-
How do you make Windows faster ? Throw it harder
-
How do you pronounce my name? With reverence.
-
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
-
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!
-
How does one expect the unexpected?
-
How long is a short story?
-
How long will a floating point operation float?
-
How many consultants will fit onto the head of a pin?
-
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
-
How many weeks are there in a light year?
-
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
-
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
-
Humpty dumpty was pushed.
-
Hydrate or Die.
-
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
-
I *LOVE* it when a plan comes together!
-
I BBS because no one can read my handwriting.
-
I Cayman went.
-
I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse!
-
I M a tru beleever in hour edukashun sistum.
-
I Still miss my ex-wife.....BUT, My aim is improving!
-
I Think....therefore I'm OVER QUALIFIED!!!!!!!!!
-
I love it when a plan comes together!
-
I admit it's offbeat, but lets not get hysterical.
-
I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now!
-
I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
-
I am Clinton of Borg. Your income will be assimilated.
-
I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts!!!
-
I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
-
I am both of us & so are you.
-
I am built for comfort, not speed!
-
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-
I am functioning within established parameters.
-
I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
-
I am not an animal! I am ... well, not an animal.
-
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
-
I am sweet and lovable at all times.
-
I am the girl-next-door's imaginary boyfriend.
-
I am what I am and that's all that I am.
-
I am. Therefore, I think. I think.
-
I apologize to the deaf for the loss of subtitles.
-
I bet you I could stop gambling.
-
I bought a cordless extension cord.
-
I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
-
I came, I saw, I took LOTS of PICTURES!
-
I came... I saw... I stole your tagline.
-
I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries
-
I can quit anytime I want; I just don't want to!
-
I can resist anything but temptation.
-
I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.
-
I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
-
I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left!
-
I can't believe my computer's on fire.
-
I can't hear you. There's a banana republic in my ear.
-
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
-
I could be arguing in my spare time.
-
I could have stuck with DOS, but NO.
-
I couldn't care less about apathy.
-
I didn't cheat, I just changed the Rules!
-
I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.
-
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
-
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
-
I do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture.
-
I don't care if I'm apathetic.
-
I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!
-
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather
be.
-
I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does.
-
I don't eat snails... I prefer FAST food!
-
I don't hate Windows - it runs great under OS/2!
-
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
-
I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
-
I don't need a disclaimer. I OWN the company.
-
I don't think, therefore I am not.
-
I don't want the world, I just want your half.
-
I drink to make other people interesting.
-
I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.
-
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
-
I feel so inar-inar-inar tic-u-late
-
I feel the need......the need for speed!
-
I finally washed the mud off of mud.
-
I find myself beside a stream of empty thought
-
I float like an anchor and sting like a moth.
-
I get mail........ I exist.
-
I give advice worth the price....free!
-
I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!
-
I guess a cynic smells different.
-
I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.
-
I had amnesia once or twice.
-
I had my coat hangers spayed.
-
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
-
I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
-
I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers
-
I have a rock garden. 3 of them died last week.
-
I have a speech impediment... my foot.
-
I have already not made that point
-
I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!
-
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
-
I have the mars observer and I'm not returning it until I get an 'A' in
astronomy
-
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
-
I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
-
I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
-
I is a college student.
-
I is knot dain bramaged!
-
I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had?
-
I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY
-
I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words
-
I know everything about everything, except that.
-
I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
-
I like candy, especially the gooey kind with nougat!
-
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
-
I like to leave messages *before* the beep.
-
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
-
I like to think of myself as a divide overflow.
-
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
-
I lost a button hole today.
-
I lost my knickers at Niagara.
-
I made it foolproof. They are making better fools!
-
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
-
I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up
-
I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me.
-
I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
-
I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
-
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
-
I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
-
I never met a chocolate I didn't like!
-
I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!!
-
I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.
-
I parked my hard disk and now I can't find it!
-
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
-
I post.......... I am
-
I promise results, not promises.
-
I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person!
-
I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars.
-
I saw, I came, I cleaned it up.
-
I smashed a Window and saw... OS/2!
-
I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone.
-
I think I strained a muscle I didn't know I had!
-
I think, therefore I am. I think.
-
I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.
-
I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken.
-
I tried being reasonable once. I didn't like it.
-
I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit.
-
I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
-
I tried to drown my problems but they can swim!
-
I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
-
I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused.
-
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
-
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
-
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
-
I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser.
-
I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem.
-
I wake near the end of the day.
-
I want .50 cal machine guns as a factory option.
-
I warn you not to underestimate my powers.
-
I was arrested for selling illegal sized paper.
-
I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.
-
I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off....
-
I went on a 30-day diet - and lost 30 days!
-
I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.
-
I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.
-
I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!
-
I wrote a few children's books, but not on purpose.
-
I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
-
I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous
-
I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
-
I'd like to, but last time I went I never came back..
-
I'd love to, but I have to fulfill my potential.
-
I'd love to, but I have to rotate my crops.
-
I'd love to, but I have to stay home and see if I snore
-
I'd love to, but I prefer to remain an enigma.
-
I'd love to, but I think you want the OTHER Phillip.
-
I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular.
-
I'd love to, but I've dedicated my life to linguini.
-
I'd love to, but my crayons all melted together.
-
I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
-
I'd love to, but my patent is pending.
-
I'd love to, but none of my socks match.
-
I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force.
-
I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are.
-
I'd rather be bicycling!
-
I'll eat anything that's BRIGHT BLUE!!
-
I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!
-
I'll get you yet, you kwazy wabbit!
-
I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.
-
I'll tell you what's the matter! This parrot is dead!
-
I'm Not Schizophrenic, And Neither Am I.
-
I'm Serfectly Pober.
-
I'm a Bum...a BEACH Bum!
-
I'm a cowboy ... on a steel horse I ride!
-
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay!
-
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
-
I'm an OS/2 beta tester....I don't NEED a life!
-
I'm an OS/2 developer...I don't NEED a life!
-
I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate.
-
I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me!
-
I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.
-
I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol.
-
I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
-
I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing.
-
I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
-
I'm fallin' down a spiral, destination unknown!
-
I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact.
-
I'm in shape ... Rounds a shape isn't it?
-
I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
-
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.
-
I'm new and what's all this then?
-
I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met...
-
I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
-
I'm not as dumb as you look.
-
I'm not broke, I'm just badly bent.
-
I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged.
-
I'm not even going to ignore that.
-
I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate.
-
I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished
-
I'm not lost, I'm "locationally challenged."
-
I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
-
I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right!
-
I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
-
I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.
-
I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged".
-
I'm not schizophrenic. It's this guy beside me!
-
I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
-
I'm on the crest of a slump.
-
I'm out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!
-
I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.
-
I'm schizophrenic, What are you?
-
I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.
-
I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.
-
I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's
-
I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere...
-
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
-
I'm too smart to let my intelligence go to my head.
-
I'm turning you in to the SPCA!
-
I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
-
I've got Parkinson's disease. And he's got mine.
-
I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?
-
I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
-
I've had fun before. This isn't it.
-
I've run out of sick leave so I'm calling in dead.
-
I've seen the future. I can't afford it.
-
IBM: I've Been Misled
-
IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
-
IBM: you can buy better, but you can't pay more
-
IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END
-
INTERLACE: To tie two boots together.
-
Ideas are not responsible for their followers!
-
If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs...
-
If Clinton's the answer, it must have been a really stupid question.
-
If I can't fix it, it's probably dead.
-
If I can't win, I don't wanna play!
-
If I had anything witty to say, I wouldn't put it here.
-
If I had been using Windoze, I'd still be writing this.
-
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
-
If I save time, when do I get it back ?
-
If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
-
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
-
If I were two faced, would I wear this one?
-
If I were you, who'd be me?
-
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
-
If The Shoe Fits - The Sock Fits !
-
If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
-
If a tree falls on a florist, would he make a sound?
-
If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
-
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
-
If at first we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
-
If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0!
-
If at first you don't succeed, hide your astonishment.
-
If at first you don't succeed, put it out for beta test.
-
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
-
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
-
If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
-
If at first you don't succeed, you must be using Windows.
-
If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose!
-
If cows could fly, everyone would carry an umbrella.
-
If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
-
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
-
If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
-
If it glows don't touch it!
-
If it has feelings, its not cooked enough!
-
If it isn't broken, don't fix it.
-
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing
-
If it walks out of your refrigerator, LET IT GO !!
-
If it works, tear it apart and find out why!
-
If it's not broke, let me take a crack at it.
-
If it's not going to plan, maybe there never was a plan.
-
If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
-
If it's not worth doing well, it's not worth doing.
-
If it's stupid and works, then it ain't stupid
-
If it's too loud, you're too old.
-
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
-
If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
-
If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
-
If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
-
If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
-
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
-
If speed scares you, try Windows...
-
If the shoe fits, put it in your mouth.
-
If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
-
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
-
If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
-
If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!
-
If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
-
If winning isn't important then why keep score?
-
If you associate with the wise, you will become wise.
-
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
-
If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
-
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
-
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
-
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
-
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
-
If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
-
If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.
-
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
-
If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
-
If you hear an onion ring please answer it.
-
If you mess with something long enough it'll break.
-
If you must drink and drive, drive a Yugo!
-
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
-
If you say nothing, no one will repeat it.
-
If you see an onion ring, ANSWER IT!
-
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
-
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
-
If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
-
If you wish work poorly done, pay in advance.
-
If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
-
If you're not the solution, you're the precipitate.
-
If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush..
-
If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!
-
Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines!
-
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
-
Illiterate? Write for free help.
-
Imagery is All In The Mind.
-
Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality
-
Impropriety is the soul of wit.
-
In God we trust, all others pay cash.
-
In a fight between you and the world, back the world.
-
In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death
-
In case of fire, yell "FIRE!"
-
In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
-
In the land of the witless, the halfwit is king.
-
In war there is no substitute for victory.
-
Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
-
Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
-
Individualists of the world, UNITE!
-
Inertia makes the world go round.
-
Inferiority complex: conviction by a jury of your fears.
-
Innovate or Die.
-
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
-
Insanity is just a state of mind.
-
Insert New Disk for Drive C: Press ENTER when ready.
-
Insert inevitable trivial witticism of your choice.
-
Interchangeable parts won't.
-
Internal combustion engines are the dinosaurs' revenge
-
International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves.
-
Interstellar Matter is a Gas
-
Invisible Systems, Inc. If you don't see it, we made it.
-
Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.
-
Is "tired old cliche" one?
-
Is it OK to yell 'MOVIE' in a crowded firehouse?
-
Is it in my head...or in my heart?
-
Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
-
Is it possible to feel gruntled?
-
Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?
-
Is there life before coffee?
-
Is this a machine? I don't talk to machines! [Click]
-
Is this the right room for an argument?
-
It all looks the same if you're not the lead dog.
-
It can't be full...I STILL HAVE SUBDIRECTORIES!
-
It compiled, first screen came up?? Ship it! --Bill Gates
-
It did what? Well, it's not supposed to do that.
-
It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
-
It has many other uses as well. Allow me. - Worf
-
It is always better to sacrifice your opponent's men
-
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
-
It is better to be brief than boring.
-
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
-
It is broke. It will not work. It does not go.
-
It is fatal to live too long.
-
It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
-
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
-
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct
-
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-
It is, after all, only a moment in the infinity of time.
-
It really bothers me when people cut me o...
-
It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit!
-
It works better if you plug it in.
-
It's 10:00 PM...do YOU know where YOUR tagline is?
-
It's Ensign Flintstone - he's Fred, Jim.
-
It's a Tough Job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
-
It's a fine line between fishing & standing still
-
It's a fine night to have an evening.
-
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
-
It's a tough job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
-
It's an ill wind that gathers no moss.
-
It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
-
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
-
It's been a business doing pleasure with you.
-
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
-
It's best to leave quickly when you make noises like that...
-
It's better to burn out than to fade away.
-
It's clever, but is it art?
-
It's deja vu all over again.
-
It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
-
It's easier to obtain forgiveness than permission.
-
It's easy to apply yourself, just use crazy glue!
-
It's easy to be brave from a safe distance.
-
It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM..
-
It's hard to be serious when you're naked.
-
It's life Jim, but not as we know it.
-
It's like Deja Vu all over again...
-
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
-
It's more than a reader. It's a message base manager!
-
It's never too late to have a happy childhood
-
It's not easy having an overbearing parent! - Troi
-
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere!
-
It's not in the manual!
-
It's not just a hobby, it's an obsession!
-
It's not pretty being easy.
-
It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.
-
It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
-
It's not the principle of the thing, it's the money
-
It's okay to be ugly...but aren't you overdoing it?
-
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only
-
It's only ones and zeros.
-
It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead, Jim.
-
It's smart to pick your friends, but not your nose.
-
It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC !
-
It's true, forgiveness IS easier to get than permission
-
Its a JOKE, like the funny kind but different.
-
Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters!
-
JFK: I need this motorcade like a hole in my head!
-
James Bond rules. 00K.
-
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
-
Jet Engine Theory -Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow!
-
Join the Group Mind - become a Borg
-
Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
-
Jumbo shrimp = oxymoron.
-
Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep.
-
Just because you're STUPID ain't no excuse.
-
Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me!
-
Just do it.
-
Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here
-
Just how much leg have I got
-
Just my 78,000 lira worth.
-
Just what part of "NO" didn't you understand...?
-
Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.
-
Justice is incidental to law and order.
-
Justice: A decision in your favor.
-
Kamikaze Pilot Wanted: Experienced only need apply.
-
Keep America beautiful.. properly dispose of your lawyer.
-
Keep a clear head and always carry a lightbulb.
-
Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
-
Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue
-
Kicked wide of the goal with such precision.
-
Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging!
-
Kill them all! .... Let God sort them out.
-
Killer Rabbit's Motto: "Lettuce Prey."
-
Kilroy occupied these coordinates.
-
Kleptomania: take something for it
-
Know what I hate? I hate rhetorical questions!
-
Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either.
-
LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
-
LISTEN HERE! I HAVE FIRST AMENDENT RIGH(@#$!9*&^ NO CARRIER
-
LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer
-
Laddie, ya think ya might like ta ... rephrase that?
-
Land of the Single Entendre...
-
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
-
Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
-
Laughter: The shortest distance between two people.
-
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
-
Lesser artists borrow. Great artists steal.
-
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it!
-
Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it.
-
Let's split up, we can do more damage that way.
-
Liberal - a power worshiper without power.
-
Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.
-
Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.
-
Life can be great if you live it to the fullest!
-
Life is a sandwich, and it's always lunchtime
-
Life is a series of very rude awakenings.
-
Life is like a Car-wash and I'm on a bicycle.
-
Life is only as long as you live it.
-
Life is serious, but ART is fun!
-
Life is tough. It's tougher when you're stupid.
-
Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
-
Life sucks, but Death swallows!
-
Life would be easier if I had the source code.
-
Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
-
Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
-
Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
-
Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
-
Likes and dislikes are among my favorites
-
Linux, the choice of a GNU generation.
-
Liposuction will destroy your FAT
-
Lisp programmers have to stop and collect garbage.
-
Live before you die.
-
Living poor is best left to those with no money.
-
Locked coathanger in car. Good thing I had a key.
-
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
-
Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
-
Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII.
-
M.A.D.D.: Midgets Against Desk Drawers.
-
MOPAR = Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly!
-
MS Windows -- From the people who brought you EDLIN!
-
MS-DOS: celebrating ten years of obsolescence
-
Macho does not prove Mucho.
-
Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
-
Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow....
-
Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler.
-
Make it do ... Or do without.
-
Make like a Tom and Cruise.
-
Make like a baby and head out.
-
Make like a banana and split.
-
Make like a drum and beat it!
-
Make like a tree and leave.
-
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
-
Make up a language and ask people for directions.
-
Man has his will. Woman has her won't!
-
Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain.
-
Man who get hit by car, get that run down feeling
-
Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself
-
Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache
-
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
-
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon
-
Marching to a different kettle of fish.
-
Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.
-
Math is the language God used to write the universe.
-
May I please be excused? My Brain is full.
-
May the Porsche be with you.
-
May you live in interesting times.
-
May your life be filled with experiences.
-
Me know gammar. Me cood use it gud.
-
Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve it's dignity
-
Meditation is not what you Think.
-
Meet the new Boss--same as the old Boss...
-
Megabyte: A nine course dinner.
-
Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves!
-
Memory is a thing we forget with.
-
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
-
Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence
-
Microfiche: Sardines.
-
Microsoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
-
Microsoft gives you Windows... OS/2 gives you the whole house.
-
Migratory lifeform with a tropism for parties
-
Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open.
-
Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
-
Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting!
-
Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
-
Modem: What landscapers do to dem lawns.
-
Money is the root of all wealth.
-
Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.
-
Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition.
-
Most of us have been at work for several hours now.
-
Mother is the invention of necessity.
-
Multitasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels!
-
Multitasking causes schizophrenia..
-
Murphy is out there... waiting...
-
Murphy was an optimist.
-
Murphy's law needs to be repealed.
-
Must Go - My Rotweiler needs its teeth sharpened.
-
My *taglines* are original. *I* am a copy.
-
My RAM's not what it used to be, so don't quote me.
-
My attention isn't hard to get. It IS hard to keep...
-
My best friend is a social worker.
-
My computer has a terminal illness
-
My computer's sick, I think my modem's a carrier
-
My couch potato routine honed to perfection
-
My fallacies are more logical than your fallacies.
-
My foolish parents taught me to read and write.
-
My hat covers my head... Just like hair used to!
-
My haystack had no needle!
-
My head is sore, and there's a hole in the brick wall!
-
My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.
-
My karma ran over your dogma.
-
My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring
-
My message above. Your response here ____________.
-
My other computer is a Cray Y/MP-4!
-
My other computer is a HAL 9000.
-
My other computer is an abacus.
-
My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...
-
My reality check just bounced.
-
My tagline can beat up your tagline!
-
My weight is perfect for my height... which varies.
-
NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself
-
NETWORK: What fishermen do when not fishing.
-
NEWS! Drunk gets nine months in violin case
-
NEWS! Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
-
NEWS! Iraqi head seeks arms
-
NEWS! Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
-
NEWS! Stolen painting found by tree
-
NEWS! Survivor of siamese twins joins parents
-
NO! Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company!
-
NUMBER CRUNCHING: Jumping on a Computer.
-
Naaah, real men don't read docs.
-
Nanosecond: Mork's stunt man.
-
Neil Armstrong tripped.
-
Neither rain, nor snow, nor l?ne n*oi*se
-
Neurotic: Self-taut person.
-
Never argue with a woman when she's tired, or rested.
-
Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
-
Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
-
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you
-
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
-
Never eat more than you can lift.
-
Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.
-
Never go with the odds
-
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist!
-
Never judge a man by his taglines.
-
Never let your feet run faster than your shoes.
-
Never mind the facts - I know what I know.
-
Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone.
-
Never say, "Oops!"; always say, "Ah, interesting!"
-
Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
-
Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers
-
Never trust a skinny cook.
-
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
-
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
-
New Highway gets Railroaded.
-
Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows.
-
Nihilism should commence with oneself.
-
Ninety per cent of everything is crap.
-
Nitpicking: Not just a hobby, it's a way of life!
-
Nitrate: Lower than the day rate.
-
No .sig is a good .sig
-
No free lunch in an ecosystem.
-
No one EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!!!
-
No one ever said "if I'd only spent more time in the office"
-
No radio. Already stolen.
-
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
-
No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
-
No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in Outer Space.
-
Nobody roots for Goliath.
-
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
-
Nodding the head does not row the boat.
-
None of you exist, my Sysop types all this in.
-
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
-
Not a computer nerd; merely a techno-weenie.
-
Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
-
Not many people realize just how well known I am.
-
Not now, John, we gotta get on with the game show...
-
Not quite human any longer.
-
Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
-
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come
-
Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
-
Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious
-
Nothing is impossible for anyone impervious to reason
-
Nothing recedes like success.
-
Nothing succeeds like excess.
-
Now entering Iowa. Please set your clocks back 20 years.
-
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
-
Now is not a good time to annoy me
-
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-
Now that I've given up hope I feel much better...
-
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?
-
O Oysters come and walk with us, the Walrus did beseech.
-
OK Scotty, detonate and energize NOW! No, wait, I mean.......
-
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric.
-
OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.
-
OS/2 - Not just another pretty program loader!
-
OS/2 - Windows with bullet-proof glass.
-
OS/2 - Taking the wind out of Windows.
-
OS/2 VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
-
OS/2 is not about fixing old Windows, but opening new doors.
-
OUT TO LUNCH - If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!
-
Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: "Use the FORKS, Luke!"
-
Objection, your Honor! My client is an idiot!
-
Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder
-
Objects in taglines are closer than they appear.
-
Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them
-
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
-
Of course I'm running Windows[kVxB NO CARRIER
-
Oh goody! Another Muranium Explosive Space Modulator!
-
Oh no you don't! You're not stealing this one!
-
Oh no, not another learning experience!
-
Oh, Bullwinkle, that trick NEVER works!
-
Ok, I pulled the pin. Now what? Where are you going?
-
Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC
-
Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIE I/O
-
Old age is better than the alternative.
-
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
-
On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.
-
On an electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts
-
One atom bomb can really ruin your day.
-
One good turn gets most of the blanket.
-
One is never as happy or unhappy as one imagines.
-
One man's Windows are another man's walls...
-
One man's upload is another man's download
-
One night I came home very late. It was the next night
-
One tactical thermonuclear weapon can ruin your whole day.
-
One way to better your lot is to do a lot better...
-
One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
-
Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...
-
Only cosmetologists give make-up exams.
-
Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
-
Open Mouth. Insert Foot. Chew Carefully.
-
Optimization hinders evolution.
-
Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
-
Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
-
Our necessities are few but our wants are endless...
-
Out here in the fields...I fight for my meals...!
-
Out of Memory!? But I fed you 6 Megs this morning!
-
Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.
-
Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees!
-
Overload--core meltdown sequence initiated.
-
Oxymoron - Definite possibility
-
Oxymoron - Military Intelligence
-
Oxymoron: Bosnian Cease-Fire
-
Oxymoron: Soviet Union.
-
PC! Politically Correct (or) Pure Crap!
-
PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.
-
PI seconds is a nanocentury. - Tom Duff, Bell Labs
-
PKZip - it's not just for downloads anymore
-
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
-
Palindrome isn't one.
-
Pandemonium doesn't reign here... It pours!
-
Paranoia is heightened awareness.
-
Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
-
Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload.
-
Pascal: What's it Wirth?
-
Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
-
Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT!
-
Pay your electric bill in pennies.
-
Peace through superior firepower.
-
People are always available for work in the past tense.
-
People say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.
-
People who live in glass houses shouldn't!
-
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
-
Perot/Bush/Quayle: The Millionaire, Skipper & Gilligan.
-
Pet Store: "Buy one, get one flea."
-
Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.
-
Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!
-
Pizza IS the four food groups!
-
Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.
-
Plagiarism prohibited, derive carefully.
-
Plankton lobbyist: "NUKE THE WHALES!"
-
Plasma is another matter.
-
Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message
-
Please call the windows police. I've caught another gpf.
-
Please don't drink and post.
-
Please don't take my sunshine away.
-
Please recycle this tagline. Once is not enough.
-
Pobody's Nerfect!
-
Poets go from bad to verse
-
Point not found. A)bort, R)eread, I)gnore.
-
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
-
Political panjandrums prologize pedantic paronomasia.
-
Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.
-
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
-
Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
-
Pound forehead on keyboard to continue.
-
Power corrupts, but we need electricity.
-
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-
Predestination was doomed from the start.
-
Predicting the future of technology is fraud with peril!
-
Prejudice is the reason of fools. - Voltaire.
-
Preserve wildlife... pickle a rat.
-
Press --
to continue...
-
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
-
Press any key...NO, NO, NO, NOT THAT ONE!!!!!!
-
Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry.
-
Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.
-
Program too small to fit into memory.
-
Programming is an art form that fights back.
-
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
-
Prosecutors will be violated
-
Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
-
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
-
Push the limit, and the limit will move away!
-
Put on your seatbelt. I wanna try something.
-
Put people on hold when possible.
-
Quantum mechanics do it in leaps.
-
Quasimodo is a dead ringer.
-
Question Authority, ask me anything
-
RAID Antivirus - Kills Virus's DEAD!!!
-
Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.
-
Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
-
Random order = oxymoron
-
Rap music = oxymoron
-
Read the dictionary backwards and look for secret messages.
-
Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's.
-
Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
-
Real men don't set for stun.
-
Real men write self-modifying code.
-
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle buttons
-
Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
-
Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
-
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-
Really ?? What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!
-
Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
-
Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.
-
Reduce Carbon Dioxide emmissions - STOP Breathing
-
Redundancy: A Politician with an airbag in his car.
-
Refuse Novocain...Transcend Dental Medication!
-
Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
-
Remember, If you're not in bed by 10:30..... go home!
-
Remember, Subaru spelled backwards is U-R-A-BUS.
-
Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
-
Resistance Is Useless! (If < 1 ohm)
-
Return((usBirdInHand = 2 * InTheBush()));
-
Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.
-
Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.
-
Road Kill Cafe: You kill 'em, we grill 'em.
-
Romulan warbird decloaking sir... {[2Yaj NO CARRIER
-
Roses are red, Violet's are blue, And mine are white.
-
Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens
-
Round up the usual suspects!
-
Rubber bands have snappy endings!
-
Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
-
S met ing's hap ening t my k ybo rd . .
-
SCUD : Sure Could Use Directions
-
STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work.
-
STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP! Park elsewhere!
-
SYNTAX? Why not--they tax everything else!
-
SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue...
-
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
-
Sarcasm: barbed ire.
-
Save California; when you leave take someone with you.
-
Save energy: be apathetic.
-
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
-
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
-
Save your money for a rainy day, or a new computer!
-
Say yer prayers, y' flea-bitten' varmint.
-
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
-
Science asks why. I ask why not.
-
Science: preconception meeting verification.
-
Scientists discover life causes cancer.
-
Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*z~% NO CARRIER
-
Scrute the inscrutable, eff the ineffable.
-
See how you can be?
-
Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing.
-
Send lawyers, guns, & money...
-
Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious!
-
Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
-
Serving the scum of Paris for over 300 years
-
Set mode=Extremely verbose
-
Shareware author dies: .GIF at eleven!
-
Shareware: forget the manual...phone the author at home!
-
ShelfDoze is a registered Trademark of M$.
-
Shell to DOS... come in DOS... Do you copy?
-
Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors!
-
Shin - a device for finding furniture in the dark..
-
Shoot your program and put it out of its memory!
-
Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol
-
Short people are vertically challenged.
-
Should I or shouldn't I?... Too late, I did!
-
Should I weed the lawn or say it's a garden?
-
Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you.
-
Sign here please:_______________________Thanks
-
Sign on Closed Nuclear Power Plant... "Gone Fission"
-
Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.
-
Signito ergo sum - I sign therefore I am.
-
Simon says: don't be so suggestible.
-
Sit down, you're rocking the boat!
-
Six of one, 110 (base 2) of another.
-
Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.
-
Slower Traffic Keep Right - Is that so difficult?
-
Slug Sautee: a hors of a different d'oeuvre.
-
Small changes pick up the reins from nowhere.
-
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
-
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
-
Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to.
-
Smiley faces were meant to be annoying.
-
Smokey the Bear says, "Strip mining prevents forest fires!"
-
Smoking cures weight problems...eventually.
-
Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.
-
Smurf exterminator.
-
So many bytes, so few cps.
-
So many lawyers, so few bullets.
-
So many pedestrians, so little time.
-
So many toys, so little time...
-
So much time, and so little to do.
-
Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
-
Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software.
-
Software means never having to say you're finished
-
Some Do, Some Don't, Some Will and Some Won't.
-
Some People....
-
Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
-
Some days, nothing goes left.
-
Some little dipstick stole all my good taglines...
-
Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under...
-
Some people are so nice to be nasty to.
-
Some people are, through no fault of their own, sane.
-
Some things have got to be believed to be seen.
-
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
-
Something is rotten in the state of confusion.
-
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
-
Sorry about your Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
-
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
-
Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
-
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (yep/Nope)
-
Space is an illusion, disk space doubly so.
-
Space is big. Really big.
-
Spaceman Spiff, Interplanetary Explorer!
-
Speaking only for myself, one of my many tricks.
-
Spell chequers dew knot work write.
-
Spice is the variety of life.
-
Stamp out philately!
-
Standing there making a sitting target of himself.
-
Stay Alert. Stay Awake. Stay Alive.
-
Steal my cash, car and TV - but leave the computer!
-
Sterility is hereditary.
-
Stop tagline theft! Copyright your tagline ©
-
Strike any user when ready.
-
Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?
-
Subvert the dominant paradigm!
-
Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
-
Sumo Wrestling: survival of the fattest.
-
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius
-
Supernovae are a Blast
-
Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
-
Support the helpless victims of computers.
-
Surprise your boss. Get to work on time.
-
Swish, two, three, four! Swish, two, three, four!
-
Sylvester Stallone: father of the RISC concept.
-
THE GOLDEN RULE: He who has the gold makes the rules
-
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-
Tact: knowing how far to go too far.
-
Tact: making a point without making an enemy.
-
Tagline Lotto: 2222222222<- Scratch here for prize.
-
Tagline theft is a compliment.
-
Taglines \'tag-linz \ The bumperstickers of the internet
-
Take a bite out of crime .. Abolish the IRS!
-
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
-
Take two crows and caw me in the morning
-
Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand.
-
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
-
Teamwork is essential. It gives them another target.
-
Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
-
Thank you very little.
-
That ain't so good English!
-
That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
-
That that is is not that that is not.
-
That was ZEN -- this is TAO
-
That'll be $67.50 CCCHHHHHIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!
-
That's inches away from being millimeter perfect.
-
The Borg assimilated me & all I got was this stupid T-Shirt!
-
The Czech's in the mail. Sending Frenchman by FAX.
-
The French defense isn't...
-
The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!
-
The Lab called,..... Your brain is ready!
-
The Magic of Windows: Turns a 486 back into a PC/XT.
-
The Microsoft Motto: "We're the leaders, wait for us!"
-
The PARITY CHECK is in the E-MAIL...
-
The Tour de France!
-
The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain
-
The Universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest
-
The Vatican Express Card. Don't leave Rome without it.
-
The backup's not over 'til the FAT table sings!
-
The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
-
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
-
The best defense is to stay out of range.
-
The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.
-
The best way to keep friends is not to give them away.
-
The best way to win an argument is to be right.
-
The buck doesn't even slow down here!
-
The cause of problems are solutions!
-
The cost of feathers has risen... Now even DOWN is up!
-
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
-
The cream rises to the top. So does the scum...
-
The days of the digital watch are numbered
-
The dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.
-
The dreadful burden of having nothing to do.
-
The evidence before the court is...INCONTROVERTIBLE!
-
The eyes are the mirror of the soul.
-
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it
-
The first myth of management is that it exists.
-
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is save all parts!
-
The fish that escaped is the big one.
-
The further I go, the behinder I get.
-
The future isn't what it used to be.
-
The game's a little bit wide open again.
-
The gene pool has no lifeguard.
-
The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
-
The hangman let us down.
-
The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.
-
The heart is wiser than the intellect...
-
The irony of life is that no one gets out alive...
-
The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.
-
The little engineer that could
-
The longer the title, the less important the job.
-
The man who begins many things finishes few.
-
The margin is very marginal.
-
The meek shall inherit the earth, if that's OK with you
-
The mind is like a parachute - it works only when open.
-
The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on...
-
The next thing to do is hang all the consultants.
-
The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation.
-
The option to override self-destruct expir@^%i@&$#NO CARRIER
-
The pen is mightier than the pencil.
-
The penalty for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law.
-
The pendulum has gone full circle.
-
The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
-
The rich get richer; the poor get babies.
-
The road to success is always under construction.
-
The score didn't really reflect the outcome.
-
The secret of the universe is~~*#~** FF * NO CARRIER
-
The shortest distance between two points is off the wall
-
The simple explanation always follows the complex solution
-
The sixth sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.
-
The soul would have no heart had the eyes no tears...
-
The superfluous is very necessary.
-
The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone baby
-
The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter...
-
The unnatural, that too is natural.
-
The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.
-
The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
-
The whole world is about three drinks behind
-
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
-
The worst thing about censorship is **************************.
-
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
-
Then somebody spoke, and I went into a dream....
-
There are 2 ways to handle women and I know neither.
-
There are many things I could say...
-
There are no atheists in the foxholes.
-
There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
-
There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
-
There is much Obiwan did not tell you.
-
There is no dark side of the moon. Really.
-
There is no finish line.
-
There is no remedy for fun but more fun!
-
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
-
There is something to be said about me: "Wow!!"
-
There will be no last bus tonight.
-
There's a hot place with pitchforks waiting.
-
There's no future in time travel
-
There's no such thing as a free lunch, but you can always find someone
willing to treat.
-
There's one in every car... You'll see.
-
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
-
There's safety in numbers/When you learn to divide.
-
Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
-
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them!
-
Things are not what they seem.
-
Think "HONK" if you're a telepath.
-
Think hard now! Which one is Shinola?
-
This Charlie Brown must have been a very wise man.
-
This Country Needs Group Therapy.
-
This ain't no party...this ain't no disco...
-
This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
-
This is a Tagline mirror ][ rorrim enilgaT a si sihT
-
This is abuse. Arguments are down the hall.
-
This is just a hobby. Perfection is not required. Fun is.
-
This is not a fairing, it's a force field.
-
This is only a test.
-
This is our only tag line.
-
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
-
This line intentionally left unjustified.
-
This login session: $13.99, but for you $11.88
-
This message has been UNIXized for your protection.
-
This message is SHAREWARE! To Register, send $5.
-
This message was typed on recycled phosphorous.
-
This mind intentionally left blank.
-
This program makes me look like a genius.
-
This score just in: OS/2, Windows 0.
-
This sentence is false.
-
This tagline does not require Micro$oft Windows.
-
This tagline intentionally left blank.
-
This tagline is umop apisdn
-
This tagline only to be removed by the consumer.
-
This tagline was created from many little letters.
-
This tagline was reclaimed and is not yet stolen.
-
This tagline was written before a live studio audience.
-
Those who can't write, write manuals.
-
Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.
-
Those who can, do. Those who can't, supervise!
-
Those who live by the nit, die by the nit
-
Those without heads do not need hats.
-
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
-
Tilt your chair back, your breath is effecting my RAM!
-
Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
-
Time flies like an arrow - Fruit flies like a banana
-
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
-
Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
-
Tis better to be hunter than hunted.
-
Tis better to have loved a short than to never have loved a tall.
-
Tis better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
-
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
-
To boldly go and watch Star Trek re-runs.
-
To do nothing is also a good remedy.
-
To eat is human, to digest, divine.
-
To err is human, to eat Jello, is messy.
-
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
-
To err is human. To really screw up it takes a computer.
-
To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.
-
To err is human. To moo bovine
-
To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
-
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
-
To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
-
To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
-
To me personally, it's nothing personal to me.
-
To shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
-
Today is Monday, cleverly disguised as Tuesday.
-
Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
-
Today is the first day of the rest of this mess.
-
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
-
Todays subliminal message is " "
-
Tolkien is hobbit-forming.
-
Tongue tied & twisted, just an earthbound misfit I.
-
Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
-
Too much is never enough.
-
Too much month at the end of the money.
-
Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
-
Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...
-
Touch if you must, Pay up if you bust.
-
Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.
-
Trees hit cars only in self-defence.
-
Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!
-
Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got was footnotes!
-
Trig..a..name...o...tree!!!
-
Truck Pulls: for people who cannot understand the WWF
-
Trust me -- I'm a Lawyer.
-
Truth is just another misconception.
-
Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.
-
Try to get back on topic, he said moderately.
-
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo
-
Try? Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.
-
Trying to think of a good tagline...
-
Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question!
-
Turn right here. No! NO! The OTHER right!
-
Turning floppies into hard drives.
-
Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.
-
Two heads are more numerous than one.
-
Two most common elements: hydrogen, stupidity.
-
Tyre Shop sign - We Skid You Not.
-
UART what UEAT!
-
UNNAMED LAW: If it happens, it must be possible.
-
Uh, yeah...I MEANT to do that!
-
Ultimate Question Research Team
-
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
-
Unburdened by the rigors of coherent thought.
-
Unix and the world Unix with you; VAX and you VAX alone.
-
Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes.
-
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
-
Until people grow up, they have no idea what's cool
-
Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa bill.
-
Users, losers -- what's the difference?
-
Using yesterday's technology to solve today's problems, tomorrow
-
VLSI: "Getting High On Low Voltage"
-
Vampires Against Mundane Poetry.
-
Variables won't; constants aren't.
-
Veni Vidi Visa: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
-
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
-
Volcano -- a mountain with hiccups.
-
Vote Democratic... It's easier than getting a job.
-
Vuja De - The Feeling You've Never Been Here
-
Vulcans have less fun.
-
Vultures only fly with carrion luggage.
-
W.A.R.P.: We Are Real Programmers.
-
WAITER! there's soup in my fly!
-
WARNING ... drinking tap water can kill your thirst!
-
WARNING: my messages are offensive to morons!
-
WINDOWS ERROR #004: Operator fell asleep while waiting.
-
WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann??
-
WYGIWYD -What you got is what you deserved.
-
WYTYSYDG-What you thought you saw, you didn't get.
-
Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! - Kermit
-
Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.
-
Walls impede my progress
-
Wanna flirt with disaster? Become a SysOp!
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Want a LAUGH run a spell check on DSZ docs.
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Want a jelly baby?
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Want a stupid answer? Ask me anything!
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Wanted: Volcano. Average size. Must be active.
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War News: Saddam's army blown away by Thai hookers.
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Warning: Whimsical when bored
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Warning: Politicians can damage your wealth.
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Warranty void if tagline removed.
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Was today really Necessary?
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Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
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Wasting time is an important part of living.
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We all live in a yellow subroutine.
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We are not a clone.
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We are the people our parents warned us about
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We don't care. We don't have to. We're Telecom...
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We have here the latest in primitive technology.
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We seem to have juxtaposed an impasse here
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We should limit congressmen to two terms: one in Congress, one in prison
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We take drugs very seriously at my house...
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We were unanimous - in fact everyone was unanimous.
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We'll give you piece de resistance and a tour de force
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We're as similar as two dissimilar things in a pod.
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We're lost, but we're making good time.
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We're staying together for the sake of the cats.
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Weeping, I wake; waking, I weep, I weep.
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Welcome to Texas, now go home.
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Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray
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Well cover me in egg & flour and bake me for 14 minutes
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What are you doing?!? The message is over,GO AWAY!
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What can you do for me?
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What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
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What could possibly go wrong.
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What do batteries run on?
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What do you mean that 2 years have passed??
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What do you think?
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What does Santa do at a house with no chimney?
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What does ignorant mean?
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What does this red button do?
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What else can you do at 3:00 am?
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What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
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What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.
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What goes up has probably been doused with petrol.
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What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.
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What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture.
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What's another word for 'thesaurus?'
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What's brown and sticky? A stick!
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When 911 won't work .357 will!
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When in doubt, think.
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When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarfs began to suspect "Hungry"
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When your opponent is down, kick him.
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Where does weight go when you lose it?
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Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
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Who cares how it plays in Peoria?
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Who cares who's on board?
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Who glued the cup to the table?
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Who is "they" anyway?
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Whosoever diggeth a pit shall falleth therein.
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Why am I asking all these things?
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Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English?
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Why are you looking down here? The joke is above!
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Why are you wasting time reading taglines?
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Why aren't there many Hannukah specials on tv?
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Why can't we just spell it orderves?
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Why did you read this?
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Why do people cry when they're sad?
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Why do they tell us to watch "The Today Show" tomorrow?
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Why do we elect people and then become afraid of them?
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Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?
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Why do you think they call it "find"?
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Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?
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Why does the beginning of your sentence end up in the middle of mine?
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Why don't ease, lease, and please sound alike?
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Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
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Why get even, when you can get odd?
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Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
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Why isn't "palindrome" spelled "palindromeemordnilap"?
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Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2
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Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
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Will the sound of one hand clapping still turn off my TV?
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Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat
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Windows Error #F99 - CPU too tired to continue...
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Windows N'T: as in Wouldn't, Couldn't, and Didn't.
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Windows NT: Only 16 megs needed to play Minesweeper!
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Windows NT: The world's only 80 megabyte Solitaire game!
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Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
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Windows error 000 : No errors found! [CLOSE]
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Windows is *NOT* a virus. Viruses *DO* something!
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Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done.
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Windows is the best GUI - It always sticks!
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Windows isn't CrippleWare -- it's "Functionally Challenged".
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Windows only crashes itself under OS/2. Not the whole machine.
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Windows punts, OS/2 receives. Touchdown!
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Windows would look better with curtains.
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Windows-Brain Dead, OS/2-for people who can chew gum and think!
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Windows: The answer to a question nobody has ever asked.
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Windows: Training wheels for OS/2
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Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
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WindowsNT: From the makers of Doublespace
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Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
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Wit is cultured insolence.
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Without Time, everything would happen at once.
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Without music, life would be a mistake.
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Women do come with instructions; ask them.
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Women get minks the same way minks get minks.
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Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
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Women! Can't live with 'em and no resale value.
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Work off excess energy. Steal something heavy
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World ends today at 9:30 pm! Film at 11:00...
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Worry: The interest paid on trouble before it's due
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Worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe
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Would I ask you a rhetorical question?
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Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
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You buttered your bread, now lie in it.
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You can name your salary here. I call mine Fred.
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You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
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You can't have everything...where would you put it?
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You hit the nail right between the eyes.
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You're it.
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You've got to be trusted by the people that you lie to.
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Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
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Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage!
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Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
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Yuk, what kind of dumb menu system is that? Oh, so that's Windows95!
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Zen T-Shirt: Enlightenment Available - Enquire Within
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[DISCLAIMER: my fingers are epileptic]
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[If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses]
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hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
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