I want to be numb - to truly feel nothing.
To be completely separate from normal, rational society -
To be as distant as the moon, further yet - the “void.”
A black hole that takes in everything, but is not changed.

I no longer want to feel; feel joy, feel sorrow,
Happiness nor anger - no response, no emotion.
To look at the world though eyes unclouded by emotions,
To see what is real, for what it truly is.

I want to see reality, and feel nothing for it.
Joy, happiness, pleasure - they are all real,
But quickly they are replaced by sorrow, pain, sadness.
The inevitable madness that is the cycle of life.

And I don’t want to be part of it anymore.

Everything and nothing at all holds meaning;
Simple phrases - “I love you” and “I feel . . .” -
These are the worst lies of all
Because they are meaningless.

Would I cease to be human if I ceased to feel?
To be so cold, to not care at all -
Some would call that a death of the soul -
Fine, I accept my death than. Death is inevitable.

I hear the tolling of the bells -
And they ring out “Doom - Doom.”
Doom it is then; doomed to not care.
Doomed to feel nothing, to be the living dead.

Are the bells trying to warn me, or condemn me?
Why would these inanimate objects care? I don’t.
Or do I? Does a part of me unknown
Fear this self imposed alienation?

Will this want to be removed from the world by my doom?
I stand alone, surrounded by the darkness I want to become.
As cold as the starts that look down upon living and dead -
And I cease to feel, I cease to care.

And the bells echo “Doom” in my mind.