Now that you know where I first heard about Wicca, let me explain why I have turned to this path. Some of you who read this page might know me personally, but most of you do not, or did not know me before high school. Between about 4th grade and my freshmen year of high school, a lot of stuff happened - nothing really bad, but I became numb inside - I don't know why, but I was dead inside. I went through the physical motions of living, but I felt nothing. I was happy and I had friends, but I felt no great joy in anything, only this emptiness that I couldn't explain to anyone, and what I thought no one shared.

When I look back, I really feel I had no direction. There were very few things that I cared about deeply, which is what I know now left me feeling hollow. I cared about my family, and I do still - they are the most important thing in my life. Beyond that, I had my poetry (featured in the Dungeon) - I had words on paper. I did have friends, but in reality not many that I honestly could trust. I had been burned so many times, that I just did not trust anyone.

A few years ago, something happened to some dear friends of mine - their older brother was killed in a bad accident. I don't know why, but when I found out, I ran to my room and kneeled by my bed and prayed, really prayed for the first time in my life. In that simple, and what seems to me childish action, I felt something inside, as if a light had been turned on inside me. In that simple act of faith in some sort of higher being, I felt part of something larger then my own little world, I actually felt connected to every living thing - and I sought a place where I could find others who understood that connection.

I started listening to all my friends, asking them about their religions trying to find one that truly made sense to me, that seemed right to me. Not right as in right and wrong, but right as in I honestly felt that I could believe in the doctrine of that church and not be going against myself. Every church my friends told me about, condemns someone for being different - they condemn other religions because they do not follow the "real path to God." During my senior year in high school, some of my friends found out that some people that we know are gay, some of our friends. In talking with their church about it - they were told to pray for the souls because their friends are going to hell, even if they are good people who believe in Christ and follow his teachings, they are still going to hell. I can not even comprehend why a church, an institution that is suppose to be shaping the morals of our youth, would tell them the people who a little different from them in any way is bad and will burn in hell. This made me sick - that one word from their pastor/priest could turn them entirely against a person who they had trusted, who they had loved, who they had called a friend, but because of their church - their friends all of a sudden were no longer the same people. Needless to say, that fact turns my mind away from these churches.

I have nothing against churches or any religion at all, and I know very many open minded Christians. I think it is wonderful that people can gather and pray and they have a place to turn when they need guidance, we really need more places like that in this world. But because what I have always believed in my heart, I cannot ignore this and ignore my conscious and participate in these churches. In my mind, I would be going against everything I believe and turning on some of my friends if I turn a blind eye and just accept these teachings, I can not go against myself.

Again, my senior year I truly found myself again, thanks to my friend I mentioned before. She told me that she was Wiccan and provided me with everything I could ever want to read on it, due to time, I only read one book, but that was enough. The first things that I can remember reading:

• The Wiccan religion does not exclude any one due to gender, race, age, nationality, or sexual preference.
• In the Wiccan religion, the Divine Spirit is dual - seen as the Goddess and the God. They are equal, warm and loving, and always present.
• Wiccans do not view Deity as being distant or removed from us. They are not only watching us from abuse, they are around us, within us, with all. They are universal and in all things.
• The moral code that Wiccans follow is simple “Harm none.” That included everyone and everything (self defenses is okay), it also includes harming oneself.

There is so much more, but these are what stand out in my mind because these are things that I have always believed in my heart. At the time I first started reading about Wicca, I wrote out everything that I personally believe so that I could understand myself before I continue along this path. In reading my own words, pretty much everything that I believe and have all my life I have read and reread in every book and web site on Wicca that I have found. When I realized that, the emptiness went away - I began looking into my soul and there I found the strength that I was told that I had, but I never believed in. I found that sense of connection through my workings with what I call the Devine, working with nature and all the elements that make up our world - in actually living as part of the world for once. I do not think there are even words to describe how I feel in my heart.

I know that this probably doesn't make a lot sense to some of you, but it does to me. If you're still asking "Why Wicca?" let me explain it like this: It feels right for me, through what I have learns about Wicca, I have learned more about myself - I have begun to learn more about who I really am, and I am happier now than I have ever been because I am finally getting to know myself. Not only do I know myself, but I know everyone else. I am connected to every man, woman, and child. To every living creature and plant, to every rock, every rain of sand, the air and wind - to everything that is around us every day that we never even notice. I am a part of it all, and it is a part of who I am. That's why.