Some thoughts inspired by friends.....

I were you once,
and at times i still am
Find myself drowing in beside you
No one could stop me, nothing can

Wake up you fool
Or you'll get us both killed
You're dragging me along your way
Don't wanna be like you, no I don't

I hate meeting you, having talks
You always managed to make things worse
I'm already all screwed up , inside out
And you can't let me be, set me free

I shut up and listen to you bitch
Keep my feelings, my reactions deep inside
Could you ever try to see t he brighter side
No , doing that just makes u itch

So shut up already, I don't need it no more
Didn't mean to hurt you, dowana get you bored
I love you, yes i do care
But u're killing yourself it's stupid

You're being selfish,dumb and ignorant
Don't see what you're doing to us
Acting as such a pathethic lame freak
Your actions now don't deserve us

You're not the person I knew
She has died deep inside you
Gonna feel as if the world owes you
You're never wrong, have never failed

But smell reality, this world's fucked up
Don't tell me it took so long for you to see
Though u were so much better than me
Your true colours hidden well, i had forsee

So you've put these ideas back into my head
What do i do now, what should i say?
I'm in hell too, do i follow you?
I don't wanna go back to me before, what can i do?

She don't want u, played u as a fool,
That's exactly what i'm going through
Why don't i think of things like you
Maybe i'm emotionless, empty and cruel

Or is it that i'm hurting so bad
THat i choose to ignore these things in my head
Mebe I'll break like you do now
& sink back to who i was before this

Don't tell me no one understands, no one knows
We've been thru worse u jes dun see
U tell urself you're the victim of all hurt
But I've been thru that first

So don't go feeling sorry for urself
No one can help, only u, only u
U can pic up ur pieces if u want
& that's nothing any of us can give

Hell if I can survive, u can too
You're not getting off so easily, I'm not lettin u
Can't leave the pain and torture to us
If u love us, stay and bear it together

I see my old self in ur eyes
A soul wanting nothing but to die
I know nothing we do can chase it away
It is u who wants it to stay

Only you haf the power to kill it
Don't let it sweep u off ur feet
Ponder the consequences before u take that act
It's not gonna solve it, you noe for a fact

It'll make things worse not only for u
Brings pain to ur loved ones and those who care
We'll blame ourselves too, and live in guilty
One by one we'll follow u, it's too much to bear

Don't let him win u over
Turn back to the light before it's too late
Don't lose to him who rules all evil
Don't give up, in ur own hands lays ur fate.

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She doesn't need me anymore
Finds me when she needs love
Throws me away when I'm an eyesore

Feels as if i was played
A dumb fool, someone's toy,
How do i face the world now

I look at the mirror
Don't know who i am anymore
She screwed with my mind and my body
Now I'm a walking psychopath

I can't bring myself to see
Any of the good there was in me
I'm nothing now more than a slut, a bitch in the gutter
I dunno life anymore, my best friend's father Lucifer

How nice it'll be with her neck in my hands
I twist and break it mechanically
I'll smile as i see it bend

Yes i'm sick, as sick as can be
And i'll place it on my hands
And follow her down under
The grains of soil where we're burried

There is anger now as much as love
Can't shut it out, emotions are beyond myself
The madness in me has had its birth
I no longer control feelings i had felt

Tell myself i can do it
Don't need no one to help me thru this
I am strong, can stand on my own
Won't let it get to me, I won't get blown

Pack my fears and weakness aside
Those days when i curled up and cried
I need to wear my mask today
As another day flies away

I pray for me to drop right now
Just collapse lifelessly to the ground
Then mebe it'll all subside
These troubles in me will then die

Yet I see another nite
With my usual shit by my side
They help me forget for that lil' while
Before they come back for a fight

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& she asked me, how did this come to be?
& she thought how lucky this gal seemed
& she looked and saw lil' miss perfect
& she wondered how i lived with such beam

& i answered wat d'ya know bout me
& i said how d'ya know i'm not hurting
& i told her it's all on the outside
& no one knows, no one sees

So she turned her head and heaved
she knows not of what to bliv
It's all words of modesty and sympathy
& pays no heed to my grief

So i said i dun need ur compliments
To make me feel better everytime
You don't have to try and care
Cos it's just a fake expression tat u wear

So she shut her hole in a subtle state
Surprised with the words comin outta my mouth
Tried to recover words of defense
But she knew they won't make no sense

& she things now, am i still her friend?
To have said those nasty notes
But has she been one too at first
To have such thoughts and character

So i told her, I want nothing from u
Don't need u to be here, to understand or even try
But u can come to me if u want
Yet i'll still help , with all i can

So yes, this is my friend
One who should stick by me thru till the end
One who rushed there when u call
But who lives by that crap anymore......

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