FUN STUFF
With a game as fierce and competetive as ice hockey it's nice to be able to look at things in a brighter (and funnier!) light. With that in mind, I hope you enjoy! :-)
The Chris Simon/Jackie Chan Grudge Fight
I found this while I was just cruising the 'net one night and found it hilarious...it's a poll to see who you think would win the match. I didn't see a name with it, so if someone out there recognizes it as theirs, please let me know so I can ask permission the correct way and/or take the link off my page. Thanks!
Q: Why do hockey players wear helmets?
A: So they won't bump heads when they bend down to pick up their teeth!
Q. What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
A. They drowned during Spring training.
TOP TEN REASONS HOCKEY IS BETTER THAN SEX:
10. It's legal to play hockey professionally.
9. The puck is always hard.
8. The protective equipment is reusable, and you don't even have to wash it.
7. It lasts a full hour.
6. You know you're finished when the buzzer sounds.
5. Your parents cheer when you score.
4. A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon.
3. Periods last only 20 min.
2. You can count on it at least twice a week.
1. You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
The following was contributed by a fan...thanks! :-)
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE DATING A HOCKEY PLAYER:
10. Eating the last Fig Newton gets you bodychecked into the fridge.
9. He's very sensitive on the topic of "stick curvature."
8. After going out, makes you line up and shake hands with all his ex-girlfriends.
7. Bad enough he consummates lovemaking by shouting, "He scores!"
6. During arguments he sends you to the penalty box for "2 minutes for pissing me off."
5. He refuses to valet park the Zamboni.
4. For breakfast, he hands each kid a spoon and tosses an Eggo in the middle of the table.
3. Demanded credit for an assist when you slept with his best friend.
2. Favorite Restaurant: Dinner in a Blender.
1. Talks funny and likes to beat up people, but doesn't come from Alabama.
Seen recently on a t-shirt: "Sticks and pucks may break my nuts but BODY CHECKS will never hurt me!"
Seen on a bumper sticker:
+Give blood...play hockey!
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