FUNNY SAYINGS!!!!

• "Procrastinators Unite!...Tommorow"

• "Cat: The other white meat!"

• "Baby, the other other white meat!"

• "Get in My Belly!"

• "The more people i meet, the more i like my dog"

• "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
• "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
• "Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
• "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
• "Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"
• "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
• "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep."
• "The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
• "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
• "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
• "When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
• "Wink, I'll do the rest!"
• "I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
• "Where there's a will, I want to be in it!"
• "Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
• "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
• "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
• "It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
• "Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!"
• "Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!"
• "Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
• "Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
• "We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
• "Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
• "He who laughs last thinks slowest."
• "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
• "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
• "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
• "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be    happy."
• "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
• "i souport publik edekasion"
• "We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
• "Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
• "3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
• "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
• "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...till you can find a     rock."
• "I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."

   

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