THE MEETING!!
This being Insane's first time on a plane, the trip got off to a terrifying start. Being paranoid about the plane crashing, I chose QANTAS because they have a better crash record than anyone else. I was lucky enough to sit next to a weirdo woman who talked to herself as she read her document folder. I was no longer worried about the plane crashing, I was more worried about the psycho next to me. Thank god the flight only lasted 90 minutes.
While the Insane one is late arriving, Oct amuses herself at home with an anxiety attack, with her desperately trying to come up with someone else to get me from the airport. Finally given in to the whinging of her youngest son, she gets into her car for the 45 minute drive to meet me. Oct continues her amusement by having to breath into a paper bag while she is driving to the airport.
Finally Oct makes it to the arrival lounge, only to find the plane was delayed in Sydney………giving her just a little more time to continue her panicking. Oct sons kept her conscious by the continual questions of "is that her plane, is that her plane, is that her plane" (you get the idea I'm sure), followed with " can I have a drink, can I have a toy can I play the video games, I'm hungry" (I'm sure you all might understand Octs reaction to this by slowly choking her son into unconsciousness).
With neither of us actually having any idea what the other looked like, Oct spotting Insane, and Insane spotting Oct proved to be a very hard thing to do. Oct was busy looking for the shortest person coming through the exit gate, only to be confronted by 50 Asian women, maximum height 4'11". (WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO for once I'm not the shortest person).
When I got off the plane, there were so many people standing there, and I had no idea what colour Oct had dyed her hair this week, so I had a guess it might be brown (wrong). I looked at Oct and she looked at me, but I was thrown off by the unconscious kid she was holding by one hand, as I expected her kids to be at school. So I wandered on past her, then stopped and looked around, and decided I would just say her name and hope for the best. (red hair, not brown……I wasn't too far out).
Enter the soppy part, hugssssssss blah blah blah, and now we have to go in search of my luggage (thank god Oct knew where she was going). Of course, my luggage was last to come off the plane.
THE RIDE TO OCT'S!!I must have had "soft touch" written across my forehead, because when I asked Oct to stop so I could get a coke, I got the company of the now conscious son into the petrol station. NEVER ask a 6 year old "what do you want?" That coke cost me $10. Son gets chocolate, strawberry milk and a big bird beanie baby. I get exactly what I go in for, a coke. (I have learned my lesson, I wont say that sentence for the rest of the weekend.) We chatted about anything and everything for the 45 minute ride back to Octs, not shutting up for more than a second. We have been great friends for over 12 months now, but I must admit meeting in person was going to be a lot different to chatting on the net and on the phone. I wasn't sure if we would interact as well as we do on the phone, but I need not have worried, we were very relaxed in each other's company.
ARRIVING AT OCT'S PLACE, THE FIRST NIGHT!!
I get to meet number 2 son who is 14, and taller than me (I wasn't that surprised lol). We sit and chat for a while, then decided since it's Friday night, we need alcohol. (anyone who has spent a Friday night in the company of Oct and me know alcohol is an essential part of the evening).
Oct lives in a town where there are more pubs than people (convenient lol), so choosing where to buy our supply was decided on the cheapest supplier.
I'm sure most of you know that I (insane) drink a shot called a QF, or Quick Fuck whenever I get the chance, but alas poor Oct has never had these, so I decide it's time she tried them. We buy our supply, and realise that Oct does not own shot glasses. The pub where we are buying our supply doesn't have any left in stock, so a few bats of the eyes and a few cute looks, we manage to con them out of 2 promotional shot glasses for Cougar Bourbon, and 2 whiskey glasses. Well, after all, we did just spend $186, we deserved them lol.
Back at Oct's, we sit and chat, decide to indulge in a healthy dinner (pizza), and at 4pm, I introduce Oct to my favourite drink, QF's. Oct falls in love with them, and through out the night, we manage to consume way too much, and manage to make complete fools out of ourselves. (just another normal Friday night, except when Oct slaps Insane for a comment, it now hurts).
This is one moment I need to share with you, because my most embarrassing moment will come tomorrow night, and I think it's only fair that Oct gets embarrassed as well.
When I chat on the net, most of my comments are talked to the computer, not typed in the room, (yes, I do that, just remember my name IS Insane), most of the time I just refuse to put down my drink to type. We are both quite shattered by this stage, and when I drink, I get just that little more sarcastic (surprise surprise). We were in buddy phone talking to a mutual friend as well as typing in the room, I was letting Oct type, as my typing was getting bad. (it wasn't me, it is actually Octs keyboard, I will believe her next time she says this). The mutual friend on buddy phone, made a comment at me, and timing my sarcastic reply perfectly with Oct taking a mouthful of her drink, she manages to spit the entire mouthful of drink on me, the computer, and the desk, failing in her attempt to swallow before she laughed. (sorry Oct, I had to share that, but my most embarrassing moment will be a hell of a lot worse).
THE NEXT MORNING!!
Oct's kids let me sleep in until 6am, I arise only slightly regretting the night before, but I decide my hangover cure needs to be put into place anyway just to be safe. 3 large glasses of coke and a few cigarettes later, I'm feeling fine and ready to face the day. I get to watch Scooby Doo and the Smurfs with the 6 year old, and decide at 7.30am that since I am awake, so should Oct be. Deciding to be nice (don't get used to this behaviour) I make myself at home and make the cuppas. Unfortunately for Oct, she is sooooooooooo sick hehehehe. (but she did drink half a bottle of Vodka the night before I arrived).
We sit and chat for a few hours, laughing and having a good time, but we now know, we should face the outside world and shop for her 16 year olds birthday party being held that night. We hit Coles, with me refraining from embarrassing Oct by skipping through the aisles, only because I had found out the night before that slaps the shit out of Insane actually means pain. We buy all the good healthy food, (dips, chips pies blah blah blah) and head back to Oct's place where we employ the slaves (her kids) to unload the shopping while we sit and chat again.
Having incredible staying power, and after all it is now 2pm, I need a nap (yes, ok I am pathetic), deciding if I am going to have to play the part of a "responsible adult" and supervising 25, 16 year old kids, I need a sleep.
The kids start arriving early, (only by about 3 hours) and Oct and I play the part of being good hosts. (By deciding we cant cope with the noise and a few QF's would certainly help.)
We get online and chat for a while, leaving the kids to start destroying Oct's house. Loud music, guitar playing and lots of loud voices entertain us, with one of us getting up every 2 minutes to make sure they were behaving (by this we mean they better not be drinking our alcohol).
6pm, and we are pretty drunk, (I'm more close to shattered) and we are still playing on the net, and introducing another "responsible adult" to QF's. (this responsible adult would only have one, for that I will be greatful later).
7pm, I decide that it's time I need fresh air, and am literally dragged outside by Oct and Star, (an old friend of Octs that Oct corrupted with chat). Coke usually helps settle me down, but maybe drinking 10 double shots and I have no idea how many beers in 3 hours was just a little to much for me.
Oct decides I need to pass out, she drags me in and throws me onto her bed (get your minds out of the gutter) even though I was saying if I lay down I would puke. (maybe she will listen to me next time).
7.03pm I thank the designer of Octs house for putting the ensuite only 3 steps from her bed, and 2 hours of fun begins for Insane. I prayed to the porcelain gods, wondering how could I puke that much when I was so sure I hadn't eaten half of what I puked up (ok that was just a little gross) (Oct said a little gross!!!!!!!!!?????????????)
8pm Oct decides I need to sober up a little more quickly. Each time she gave me water to drink, that just made me puke more. And now for my most humiliating moment of my life…………Oct and Star stripped me down to my underwear, and threw me in a cold shower. I don't think it sobered me up, but I was kinda cold now. (ok, minds out of the gutter Smith and Donuts and Levis) Through 30 minutes of protest under a cold shower, they finally decide maybe I am sober enough to get me out of the cold shower so I can pass out. They throw me into a t shirt and hoping it's all over they throw me onto the bed where they are sure I will remain for at least 12 hours. (wrong)
More praying to the porcelain gods follows before I do pass out.
I must mention, that throughout the whole 2 hours I was sick, my good friend was so sympathetic, she abused me and called me for every name she could think of because I had just manage to recycle $50 worth of good alcohol. (isn't she just the sweetest person)
Oct went to be the only responsible adult and do the rounds and make sure all kids were clothed and sober.
10pm Oct reappears to see if the insane one has died yet, only to find her conscious and chatting on the net. (Oct yells OMFG she's alive)
I have no idea who I was chatting to that night, but I am sure you will all remind me when you see me, I have received quite a few comments already.
(MY APOLOGIES TO ALL IF I SAID ANYTHING THAT OFFENDED ANYONE, ESPECIALLY ONE FEMALE CHATTER THAT KNOWS WHO SHE IS)
*The above events have been told to me by Oct, because I have no memory of that night. (oct is at this time 10pm, the sober responsible adult) I do know the shower part was true after telling her the next morning that she was bullshitting me, then finding my wet clothes that I had been wearing the night before, and judging by the feel of my throat, QF's burn a hell of a lot more coming back than the do going down, they don't taste that great the second time around either. (yes I am gross, I admit that).
I continue to make a fool out of myself on the net (I'm sure a few of you remember the deep and meaningless conversations………..Oct told me about them, as well as a few others). And eventually at midnight, I pass out for the rest of the night.
THE DAY AFTER!!
I spend most of the day trying to deny everything I was being told I had done. With more and more proof being provided. (I have so many great friends that took the opportunity to inform me and back up everything that Oct was telling me.) I actually didn't feel that bad considering the night I had had. I also claim a number of times that I will never drink again (lol I'm not too sure even I believe that one)
Oct and I spent the day trying to get rid of the 15 teenagers that had stayed. We sat and chatted until 2.30am Monday morning.
6am Monday morning. Once again Oct's kids let me sleep in, and the 6 year old spends an hour crawling over me until I would watch the Smurfs with him. For 2 hours, I watched cartoons, read 3 stories and played the gameboy until Oct finally surfaces with the question of "where's my cuppa???????" You don't want to know where I told her to put her cuppa.
It's now 2 hours before my terrifying trip home on the plane. I am proud of the first impression I have left on Oct lmao it's one I'm sure she will never forget.
For some strange reason, Oct is still going to be moving in December to near where I live. Just think everyone, what happened on Saturday night, could become a ritual every Friday night from December lmao.
THE FLIGHT HOME!!We leave Oct's on time for me to catch my flight, but somewhere along the trip, we end up running late. When we get to the counter to check in, the guy tells me I have just missed my flight. I almost reached over the counter and hit him when he said he was kidding. Of course the gate I had to leave from was quite a distance from where we were, and we had to rush to get there. I managed to make my flight 5 minutes before take off. I will finish by saying what a great time I had with Oct, and that meeting her in person wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I had so much fun and I am so glad that after all this time, I got to meet such a great friend. Thanks Sue for a wonderful weekend
Julie aka Insane and Happy
